Hi teaching has been my passion, giving speeches is my wont, so here i am, as have been since 35 years, life has some great feelings, and thrills, and speaking to the masses is one of those, ....

Inside Person

Well here I am again, reading my own blogs now and then, and reading the comments of dear friends makes me immensely contented ..serene and quiet in heart, i know some where some one who reecho with my reflections, I have seen the blogs of other friends, they write about National and International issues, and some write about the matters which would be useful to others, but I know that mine is just like pulling a pile of water, deep from the depths of the soul, a soul seeking and searching for better things in life... ! yes , History repeats, but people perish, we learn life's lessons from others, and compare our experience with the better ones; just for the sake of writing is not writing, writing for the deep reflection and for seeking change is all that i need, i test myself, see whether how the life would be in future, in coming days, see how things would run, ... that is the reason how and why i put my thoughts over here. I wonder at people, i observe them a lot, and reflect over their reactions, interactions, and actions, at large. Each person is unique, each one behaves in different way, the depths of the soul is known only to God, why a preson pretends, why a person cheats, why a person tell tales, why a person stick to the truth, why a person carry tales of lies, .... the relationships are allways complicated, depend on the innermost being of the person, Some may pretend to be good people, but their inner being reflects over their good deeds, their pretention peeps up some where, and makes everything so horrible to deal with. well but there some people they do not pretend but do what they really feel in side, and its easy to move with them, talk with them, and spend time with them. LOVE is that all matter, love in side, truth inside , integrity inside that makes a person. Not outside make up of pretentions...

past & present

Life is going on very well, just cool, the only thing that thrills me is everyday having a new and good sari to wear and some new jewllary, lol, u think i am becoming materialistic?? who is not for that matter? but for me this is the only pleasure left out still .. if it is not there, i mean if i do not have any work to go out, i would not wear even good saries, and there would not be any more thrill in life.. haha, strange na/
once upon time i was not haing any time to eat or to choose a sari for the day, whatever that was there in front , i used to wear it, and run and run to do other responsibilities, i did not have time to talk to others, i was waiting for holidays, to attend otehr pending works, i was thinking that i was doing somuch of good work, like taking care of children , husband poor and needy etc along with educating mystudents, now all that is left to me is educating the students, in college, other than that no commitments, no friends, no responsiblities to attend so life is going on... i used to get up from the bed , just jumping out of it , fearing i could not attend all the work of that morning in time , but now i see the time and think ..hey one hour is enough to get ready and to go to college, even if i get up early there is no one to talk , nothing to attend, no urgent work tofinsih, so i take lot of time to take hot water bath, to clean hair, and to take breakfast, and get ready to goto college.. ....later i developed to do some shopping which used to give some pleasure, but later i found that was only money spending , and i realized there is nothing profitable even in it.. so i stoped to go out to buy anything, so just going to college and coming home, no more outside freinds, nofriends too in college expect now and then speaking to oen or the torher heart to heart in college.. that is all in life.. for me .. only when i think of my little grand daughter i feel so happy inside, and i wish i could see her and play with her, i recollect those long walks to swing, and swimming pool and road side pastures and walks on meadows along with that little one in the last summer, and feel happy and sorry too as i cannot see her as often as i want to. ohwhy i am left so alone .. today while i am coming from college i felt a sting in my heart, oh i am going home and from now tothe monday morning i would be all alone.. no one to talk, but at the same time i donot feel like styaing some more time in college to chit chat orgo out to speak to others in the church, eveything seems to be just futile, useless, no heart or mind in those conversations, just time killing... well let me see how many days i would be like this.. haha haha