lltr 7

[insidersband] letter 7 JournalsFriday, October 7, 2005 11:56 PM
From: "John Max" View contact details
To: insidersband@yahoogroups.com
Day 41 is my mom’s birthday (28th August) God bless her! She took enough care about me. She reacted the best way even from childhood, best suited enough to correct me and make ME__ME. Of course I sometimes still have memories of hard days with her, but seeing her love now—its covers them all. Thank you guys if you could call her on her Birthday to wish her lol I owe you a lot. Thanks again.
Prem, I wired you first hoping that sly will also be near you or thing at least that you will be well informed of who’s where and doing how and what. But down your cell the same story. Lucky that Joseph and you are together how are you doing I bet some differenced in between but we just keep on going am I mistaken? Can be people change! I called my sis, she told that James got another job in IOWA they moving there sometime in mid September I praise god But my sis sounded normal may be the news is belated or she couldn’t express it with my hurrying her to speak fast so I could nap up Jimmy howx life? Praying about you I wonder when you will be reading this (me .. but hang on I ill wire you some day soon Hello Mr. Joel, could you please for at least my sake call this damn number #08728251042 and Chouhan’s home and ask for Ravindher kumar Chouhan (his elder brother) and do what I asked you to do many months ago? Please, use it all and enjoy for my sake the total is Rs. 850/- you know what that figure is. You are my brother too. By the way I decorated y room today and it looks very good just awesome with a curtain flowered, like a background wall paper Big black noofer with equalizer beats screen here he draw a diagram) what do you call this? Pleas let me know the term plz then I wired Madonna but could not reach her either may be its too early for them there. Yes then on day 42 it’s my Dads Memorial day. 5th …hmmm wonder a lot – a lot of things anyway I never felt fatherless and so I did not even claim some of those texts in Bible But I learnt lessons well and God in his mercy is taking care of me that much. Thanks!! That day we did not gave A.C the whole day and its scorching heat oh my I took bath 3 times in 6 hours opened wide my door port hole and played pop loud and sang along with Karoke (MLTR) and attracted (called in) a whole lot of the seamen to my cabin so that night my watch on Bridge insight the new II nd officer (DMY thro) Ukrainian) from 10:00 to 0600 so I slept on. By mooring ropes on the fossil and watched the dolphins nearly 10 of them race along with our shipping the Bulbous bow. I praised God for giving me a chance to see them live! That very next day I got my very first money (Bonus) in cash 150 dames 1DHD-12: 50 res. = 3.67 usd.. You know for what I got bonus its for the sculpture hatch cleaning in Bombay good is it not?


54 the day… here and today we started off IRAQ 15/09/05
Towards AJMAN and then to kandla (Gujarath) India Today is my Sis wedding anniversary missed wiring. Iraq postal services doesn’t work they are barred since Saddam got captured anyway I am glad we are coming back to India Hope my sim card still exists. I will recharge it Joel I will call you an everyday. Lol I got a lot to update and share many things will write another roll later have nice times God bless bye.
16/09/05 Oh Joel Joseph and dear DJ we are still in India isn’t good? God is so gracious to us. Jimmy. I feel so loved by you guys thanks a lot I love you guys lets be faithful to HIM> Joseph and Joel may be you will be reading after a spiritual refreshing retreat in BG its more important for you to keep the flame burning all those days while on my busy all those days while on my back from Bg. I that that I would be keep myself every growing. But things were different for me there is phases didn’t even remember that I have been baptized there. But as my name means JOHN= God is gracious yes I feel it coming back to India for the first time I felt extremities good Indian food oh my hunger for those bujjies pyramidal. we used to go alone to eat I miss you guys mostly I have never seen any other person so all transparent like you. God Bless! I will meet you all if at all u want –Love John.
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[insidersband] letter 6Friday, October 7, 2005 11:55 PM
From: "John Max" View contact details
To: insidersband@yahoogroups.com
Day 40 and a few more……. Still in Jeber Ali 27th August
Its like 40 days and 40 nights. hmm life is going fast actually today is 01/09/05 here (I made some corrections in the last para anyway (anything good of Christ I believe now) Actually today is 01/09/05 here what’s makes us good or bad. Can anyone term anyone as ‘ good or ‘ bad’ person? Suddenly for me things collapse It happened the same way before, when I was much relaxed with people.. (Pen in finished after r 60 days.. – hmm so that phase one night I suddenly realized there no magic in love at all. It all depends on our decision whether to care about a person or not is it not? Could please give your comments? Or did I alone feel so? If so then why do people sung that they are addicted? Anyway so what up there nearly one and half month passed over and whets new in your lives? Any new relations? Any new incidents? (Joseph any new guitar bits?) Howx Bernard doing? Is he a member of us? If so I’m so sorry not to remember. Are you guys ( prem and sly) practicing some guitar bits along with Bernard? Thank God he is kind enough to help you there in Hyderabad that way. (House?)
Hey guys you are all I got and I rely on when I feel sad and lonely (a part from God and Family) I love you guys in fact I plan to give you surprises. But I am stuck here and I desperately want to be there with you at least for a short day off. You may not agree with everything I put in here In fact you have a right and all of us are univocally unique and the same time have many things in common) above all love that makes us unique as group. Sometimes I take pride in you guys. And I thank God for it every time. So, If anything here hurts or seems odd and resentful I hope you will forgive me.
So on day 40 there nothing much here I did my night (12hours batch from 6 pm to 6 am and chief officer (who looks like Bruce wills in “DIE hard” movie) took much concern about me and explained me some ship stuff in detail I feel the love he had for me and he added “ you will remember me and the knowledge I give you even after I sign off will you?” …Little did I guess that he would be signing off the very next day? I felt so sad almost wet in eyes.. Lol I loved him like I should and I pray that God bless him and if possible I hope to see him again in heaven at least. I pray for his sick son. The reason he left so suddenly. He brought the “ officer “ out of me he constantly encouraged me. Thank you Jesus for him in my life. All these days what I took care of is my name before captain and chief cause they are the ones who really matter.. Even while I was sitting alone in the crews mess room or working among a mentally separated Indians. So it’s the same with Christ and this world we live in. is it not? At times the 2mpeople (Capt. and chief) gave me cold drinks cans (cokes and fanta) calling me over to Air conditioned (on our way from Dammam to Jeber Ali port.) Is it not enough to say God is gracious towards me, they gave me enough rest while others worked in sun called me over to ships office to work on computer and Xerox machine while the rest worked or took tally in Dubai’s hot blaze. If at all I worked on deck even if its in a shade area, the captain saw to it that I had a wet cloth band round my ears and nose. Who am I to enjoy the pleasure, God guest?? In Bible God promises us “I have traded other’s lives for yours” Is it not God just awesome????? So, can you see now why my fellow mates are jealous and gossip? Lol I love them God help me more.
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Sing Praises to the LORD!!

lttr6

From: "John Max" View contact details
To: insidersband@yahoogroups.com
Day 40 and a few more……. Still in Jeber Ali 27th August
Its like 40 days and 40 nights. hmm life is going fast actually today is 01/09/05 here (I made some corrections in the last para anyway (anything good of Christ I believe now) Actually today is 01/09/05 here what’s makes us good or bad. Can anyone term anyone as ‘ good or ‘ bad’ person? Suddenly for me things collapse It happened the same way before, when I was much relaxed with people.. (Pen in finished after r 60 days.. – hmm so that phase one night I suddenly realized there no magic in love at all. It all depends on our decision whether to care about a person or not is it not? Could please give your comments? Or did I alone feel so? If so then why do people sung that they are addicted? Anyway so what up there nearly one and half month passed over and whets new in your lives? Any new relations? Any new incidents? (Joseph any new guitar bits?) Howx Bernard doing? Is he a member of us? If so I’m so sorry not to remember. Are you guys ( prem and sly) practicing some guitar bits along with Bernard? Thank God he is kind enough to help you there in Hyderabad that way. (House?)
Hey guys you are all I got and I rely on when I feel sad and lonely (a part from God and Family) I love you guys in fact I plan to give you surprises. But I am stuck here and I desperately want to be there with you at least for a short day off. You may not agree with everything I put in here In fact you have a right and all of us are univocally unique and the same time have many things in common) above all love that makes us unique as group. Sometimes I take pride in you guys. And I thank God for it every time. So, If anything here hurts or seems odd and resentful I hope you will forgive me.
So on day 40 there nothing much here I did my night (12hours batch from 6 pm to 6 am and chief officer (who looks like Bruce wills in “DIE hard” movie) took much concern about me and explained me some ship stuff in detail I feel the love he had for me and he added “ you will remember me and the knowledge I give you even after I sign off will you?” …Little did I guess that he would be signing off the very next day? I felt so sad almost wet in eyes.. Lol I loved him like I should and I pray that God bless him and if possible I hope to see him again in heaven at least. I pray for his sick son. The reason he left so suddenly. He brought the “ officer “ out of me he constantly encouraged me. Thank you Jesus for him in my life. All these days what I took care of is my name before captain and chief cause they are the ones who really matter.. Even while I was sitting alone in the crews mess room or working among a mentally separated Indians. So it’s the same with Christ and this world we live in. is it not? At times the 2mpeople (Capt. and chief) gave me cold drinks cans (cokes and fanta) calling me over to Air conditioned (on our way from Dammam to Jeber Ali port.) Is it not enough to say God is gracious towards me, they gave me enough rest while others worked in sun called me over to ships office to work on computer and Xerox machine while the rest worked or took tally in Dubai’s hot blaze. If at all I worked on deck even if its in a shade area, the captain saw to it that I had a wet cloth band round my ears and nose. Who am I to enjoy the pleasure, God guest?? In Bible God promises us “I have traded other’s lives for yours” Is it not God just awesome????? So, can you see now why my fellow mates are jealous and gossip? Lol I love them God help me more.

lttr 5

From: "John Max" View contact details
To: insidersband@yahoogroups.com
Day 38 still in this place. Dubai

So you there---what are you doing? What happened today in your lives? Wish I were there. (Yahoo icon of sadness) Today (whole) I have been painting the accommodation outer bulk head (wall) Hay you know what? Actually I am excited to tell you this yesterday it self but I am too sleepy and tired so I did not. I bought z.1 channel (sub woofer+ Z satellite speakers) sound system. With 5 controls volume Boss, treble, karoke echo and volume. –2700 watts with 2 sockets for karoke type—I bought this yesterday just for 125 Dhirams (DMS) (1 DMS= Rs.12.50) so its cheap here. And more over I bought a cordless microphone (very good – black one) – range 82 feet – just for 18 DHS = Rs 225/- The moment I bought it I dedicated it to our Insiders band. I will get one more mike in coming days. God willing- when I get three I will bring along for us to have a gala tune. Hey you guess what, I am now collecting, currency, & CDs too for now I got! Russian CD and! Greek CD. They both sound Greek and Latin to me lol but music is good. Hmmm Just now I cooked some Egg friend rice and omelets (5 Eggs) in the pantry. Good life here lol Recollecting my first 15 days, how mean my attitude was – I was blind to see the blessings and grace God has poured over me.. Isn’t it? You must be realized from the above I wrote in the first 8 pages.
Day 39
Joel how are u hmm.. life it seems short to me. Days pass on too fast for us. The person “ YOU” brings to me a lot of wild, adventurous, foolish, emotional and funny memories Its just a few years back we met –oh my ! we grew up to be young and handsome now but those days in school and church with all new nicknames coming up everyday. The tensions in school life and working weird foolish ways to sort out some solution just like going to vizag – Joel I admire you. The inner you sometimes most of the times, when I think of you I now wish I am your kinda guy—All the charm to turn heads to you- know what I mean? You have been like a soulmate to me—thanks a lot for that “ words- Don’t come easily” right now I am hearing that song from west life ( boy zone?) (Or even back street boys?) any way Its true Joel words do not come easily for some they come out easily.. cause they do not mean it. But here , now, for me thoughts are running faster than my pen, and all I can say is the same you said to me “ I trust YOU” Joel , do you know these 3 words came to me from you the exact time I needed the most. Especially from someone like you. They brought out the Spirit in me. Kept me to steer back and stick on to my course. And even the wooden circular bablid with verse Roman8:28 on it , gave life to me cause those days I was really gloomy. and almost forgot that all things work together for good After reading this letter ( so long) don’t you think I am placed the exact place where God knows that something good is going to come out? Just now I returned from the supermarket and cooked egg fried rice with all carrots, green beans, colored rice, chillies… tastes yummy… work is sometimes hard But I am getting used to it Joel, could you given me some contact number to reach you please. Or at least write letter – first try trail letter with little stuff in writing to check if letters reach me OK please? Now Joel , how do you feel about your brother going to US? I think you will understand the emptiness when you go back home..huh? so.. are you studying well enough? Tell me some college incidents ho life. say a big loud hellow to Johanna for me. Joel the world outside tough. But I pray earnestly. It will be smooth for you from the very beginning . I grew up in a cozy nest with all the good people around me –in church , school, and college with ‘ fathers’—now all of a sudden people round me are so crooked. And all time evil minded. Always trying to push down the other to survive. I see that there is a constant competition for higher reputation and name among the fellowmen. And for that all an individual like me can do is to carry on with hope in God. Cause, sometimes we cannot stop the backbiters and slanderers who do things secretly –life here for me sis somewhat like Daniel’s in Bible. The king (captain and chief) regards me the highest among my fellow sea mates. Its all for His glory. ( the smartness he put in us, the technology we learnt in church and work camps and through our hobbies) so I feel a jealous environment. With all the twisted words fast hindi and sudden laugh sometimes rebukes and warnings from fellowmen who are even younger than me you know joel, its hard for me If I am like past John in Dec 2004, But now as I study the life of Jesus more and more I just keep silent and laugh within myself at the human nature. People are not bad. not good either. It’s the circumstances and the inner power deep inside human nature since creation to have a will to resist the moral breaking force) that make humans so feeble and powerless .Recently, I broke my own moral rules of not sharing food with fellow guys just under one’s influence – and later I faced guilt the hard way—never compromise. Joel, do not worry I am not teaching you- But I feel the care and brotherliness with you. Here they secretly play BFS and few Russians porn mags. But who cares? I never knew them Gods’ grace. One of the many factors that keeps me away from sinning is (my focus) God’s purpose for me here – a missionary- If at all God wants me to be. So I am preparing myself to be ready .God speed me! This factor was induced by my mom and annie. Of course I keep saying out of my mouth “ I LOVE YOU JESUS” cause it really helps me Cause love for him gives the thought “ IF YOU LOVE ME KEEP MY COMMANDMENTS” Love from Him sustains us even when we wrong –THANKS Jesus!!

Oh my gosh! I wrote much today –my hand’s paining –better sleep, tomorrow at 05”30 I got my watch duty. Good night Joel! Hear me??? Or else you already fast asleep? Of course you ‘d Motthu –kidding bye!
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Sing Praises to the LORD!!

LTTR4

( Time : 08:00) Day 28 ( Independence Day)

Joel is it a holiday for you? You are still lucky, wonder if the others (J’s) are atleast aware of it. I think GRE coaching class wont give a holiday –lol so, I am up early today—Hey ! Jimmy I am listening to (Diana King’s “ bye bye” right now on FM studio. Time :20:30) Had a normal day of continuous 12 hour duty. I did tally sheet of cargo being discharged while others worked in batch- am I not lucky today? I think tomorrow is going to be a tough day specially for me . Its better I sleep now Goodnight Hear me?? hahaha

(Time : 08:20) Day 29 (Dammam=26 0 30”N 51 0 12 “E) (16:08:05)



Seems different everyone sleeping I thought I was the only one late and got dressed in boiler suit and went out to gangway ( the stairway connecting port = Jetty) and ship, where the ships routine is made, passes are given to people ( port people) to come on board and such) but to my amazement no one except the 2 duty watch guys are awake. So I came back –hmmm This roll is becoming something like a second dairy with all this daily report and thoughts. Wonder what you guys are doing right now. Jimmy’s flight is supposed to be on this 19th huh? Got ready? Good wishes! Joel getting ready for another stylish day at college? And Prem and Joseph must be already at the coaching center-na? Hey Joseph I am right now listening to a FM channel where only music is played 80% of time the old classicals by bach , Beethoven Clyderman are played and the rest soft slow music and rarely songs wish you are here – OH Not !! Its hot here. Joseph , you know, I was named many different weird names –here, by the chief officer and Bosum, the first one is “JOSH” ( It always reminded me calling you too) Then MICHEL JACKSON ( Jackson because I was staggering zig zag when the ship started sailing for the first time from Bombay and TYSON , because in the later day my head was dizzy with hay feet from this time) of course they call all (Indians?) who did some mistake (even the new guys on board) Tahaz= donkey in Arabic hmmm did I tell you that I wired mom from a cell phone of some local guy at 100/ per 10 minutes. In fact the previous day I gave missed all to you. Hoping to get a return call from you—cause that day another guy was taking 1 US Dollar for 1 minute too dear for me I decided not to spend not a buck from the salary . I get here other than the extra pays for hatch cleaning etc..)While I am on board . that’s till I sign off after one year. Or 18 months( that’s January 19th 2007 –to be home for my Birthday) Hey Joseph howz Madonna doing Say hello to her for me, I will call her someday soon Howz the remaining pen pal friends? Got anything new? What happened to your exam for Airforce? ( oh my grammar is going worse yahoo icon of sad face) I got no one to speak English here – so I am teaching them and hoping in future they could speak well. The only 2 guys who speak English are the Russians. But their accent is different from what we see in movies. but, one (II nd officer) is reserved and the other ( Elect officer ) is low tempered . so, I avoid them . If I have a guitar here I bet (this time) that I could learn it for sure. Cause It’s a single room and no guys like Kalyan ( Loyala ) who take off my guitar and play it for months. Lol ---hmm I will stop here for a while I will read some time .



Day 37 24/08/05 Tebel Ali (Dubai)



I missed you all! All these days- I could write but I am always thinking of you guys—specially Jimmy, I am sorry I could not wire you before you left India . infact I regretted a lot whole on August 19th for I missed you. Just on 22nd ( sis and your mom’s Birthday too ) sis told me that you reached well and got settled and It seems your college starts on 23rd . Good for you—do well- I am always always praying about you. Never compromise your morals that God induced into you. Leave alone the church (laws and rules) you must be already going thru a new phase. God bless you and care and comfort you. What can I say to you hmm… just remain the same until we meet again some day soon and what a joy it will be even to imagine. We are growing up to be men. But I still like (love) to be a child, a boy. I just do not want to miss the simple immense joy I get being like a child.. of course some times really I behave childish—But that was out of ignorance, which will fade out soon. Jimmy – I miss you , do not worry I will take care of your brother. He is mine too, soul mate of year 2005!Once again God bless!


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