In Remembrance of you!!!

Those who lead many people to the righteousness will shine like stars forever----You will sine like bright lights in a world full of crooked ---Daniel 12:3; Phil 2:15

" One by one they appear in

the darkness: a few friends,

and a few with historical

names. How late they start to shine !!

but before they fde stand

perfectly embodied all

the past lapping them like a

cloak of chaos. They were men and women

who, I thought , lived only to

renew the wasteful force they

spent with each hot convulsion

They remind me, distant now,

True they are not rest yet

but now that they are indeed

apart winnowed from failures,

they withdraw to an orbit

and turn with disinterested

hard energy, like the stars."

------------------------------ Thom Gunn (My Sad Captains)

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IN REMEMBRANCE OF YOU,-- My Sad Captains

Mu dear dad , my Hero, My Husband, my beloved

Not one or two, nobody knew you,

never they appreciated you;

including me,not knowing the worth

of you, you were in the darkness

of the bright moon light

or standing still there in

the bright shining evening sun set

you were there not minding

people's appreciation or

reward for your selfless service.

you were there sticking to your place

not minding about other

bright stars

but shining of your own self

But you were my guides,

my sweet remembrances,

your foot prints for me to

follow,'cause you followed

My Master's foot prints of

self sacrificial life

-------------------------------------------------------Lydia

BHARATH BRAND ENGLISH---A Tool of Expression

          

                    "Ammamma , the way you write in your blog is so interesting, i love to read, wish you could write many more. Actually what you wrote so far about your life will be liked by those who love Bible.,I too like very much."

        The sweet thought of mine which had been lurking in my mind since many years got a strong support that I must write in good English language, for which I am doing English literature, hoping to do my level best.  

     Today I am reading an article which impressed me very much. Its amazing to read it as it is an answer to my inner questions with regard to expression of  Indian mind in English letters.
   
    I am so much impressed by the article , and I hereby type it as it is, because it not only strengthened me,but it I need for my future reference to inspire me much and much more This article I do not feel its others' wrote but I feel as I wrote it here. 

       English language is being effectively used as a tool for expression by all the Indian writers. Rajarao, R.K Narayan and Mulk Raj Anand, the famous trio are largely responsible for popularizing Indian English   Raja Rao justifies the use of English language as a tool for expression, suiting the Indian context and sensibility. He says that we cannot write like the British as we think fast, talk fast and so on.( This I used to argue with my daughter often in the past, when she complained about my expression, I was telling her, now you must understand, I think fast and my fingers wont keep the pace of my thoughts while typing, do not judge me) In his introduction to the novel "Kanthapura" , he says tht people have to accept Indian English.

    In the hands of Indian writers such as Aurobindo, Arun joshi, Narayan, Anand, Tagore, Rajarao, Kamala Das English has undergone a sea change adapted to our way of conversation and thinking.  Words are not mere words They are more than blocks of stone.  They are indeed streams of suggestions, dark rooms with central lights to brighten them, waves of sound making haunting music. Words are charged with tremendous power. Aurobindo invests English words with spiritual and metaphysical denotations and connotations.  Naraya uses gentle irony in a euphemistic manner. Anand translates Hindi idioms and proverbs into English.  

       Kamal had clearly announced that her English is Indian, it may be funny or half Indian or distorted. She says--" The language I speak, becomes mine, its distortions, its queerness. All mine, mine alone.  It is half English, half Indian, funny perhaps, but it is honest, it is as human as I am, don't you see?"

     Thus all Indian writer made use of English to express their thoughts, feelings, ideas, ideals and responses in the style and syntax which suited their context.  Our Indian English has a distinctive stamp on it like the Madras handloom check shirt or the Tirupati Doll. It is better to call it Bharat Brand of English. 

Pastors widow's lamentations --JOB (2)

              Here ' I' means' we', or 'people' in general .---.                                                                                Robert Frost 


          "How I longed for the months gone by;  for the days when God watched over me !!!
When His lamp shone upon my head and by his light I walked through darkness ,
 Oh for the days when I was in my prime when God's intimate friendship blessed my house, when the Almighty was still with me and my children around me !!!
, when my path was drenched with cream and the rock poured out for me streams of olive oil !!!"

        Gone Gone were those days, I was thinking that my HOUSE is blessed and my KITCHEN is blessed, I was too busy with household work, cooking, cleaning, stitching and tailoring ,washing, and ironing, laughing and dancing, playing and shopping.
             Now the days have been going on and on, Its just going on, God still taking care of me, but my empty HOME mocking at me, the rooms once were congested, are now none to step into them as there is no activity to take.  Mostly my bed room is the only one I live, read, sleep , watch TV, write and engage with close friends who are harmless !! My children have no time to husk with me, or laugh with me, or visit me often, they are in far away lands pursuing their own adventures, and commitments, No time to take me out because of my vulnerable body, in fact they feel that I am another luggage to carry. Does not matter, I accept everything, as I accepted everything in my life, good or bad.

                  Lonely widow's life is different from a couple who are old and have children. Anything can be accepted by her, there is all ways, that fear lurking in the heart, "'oh I should not be a stumbling block to my children's bright future, I should not lag them behind by seeking their attention, , I should suffer and I should entertain myself and self sufficient".
         TWO gives warmth , not only that its gives strength, no one can ignore them, no one can despise them no one can be indifferent to them. Because they are two , one in body and one in my mind, and one in life. They share the grief, the agony the humiliation. The public looks down on lonely person but not at the one in the couple.

But one is left , leaving the other ,especially the wife, she has no place in the lives of the children, she is just an ornament to show to be shown to others ; that once upon very loving mother, but now she is useless product to be used in the modern society.
      Live as you like , be happy with what you have, enjoy your life, we will be happy as long as you are there, does not matter, even if you leave us, we will come after three days to see you, hoping some one put you in ice box till we come, your place in our lives has nothing to do, you are already not there, so even when you leave , there wont be a void, after all death is inevitable, and you have gone because God called you. Of course we are quiet sure that you will go to Heaven, there we will meet you. Then we will be laughing and enjoying once again. Till then you be yourself,  and we will pursue our devotions, our pleasures , why commitments with you again,? Hope you will find a good old age home by now, better you stay over there, because any way you never like to be a hurdle in our lives. any way you will be only obstacle for our progress.

            Life is so strange, every one forgets the past very easily FORGETTING is a boon given by God,

    " Now their sons mock me in song I have become a by word among them. They detest me and keep their distance they do not hesitate to spit in my face Now that God has unstrung my bow and afflicted m;e they throw off restraint in my presence "