Jayden-my Edelweiss

Jayden, you are my life, my joy, my very essence of the existence.The way you show your feelings, the way you express your emotions, the way you show your love and affection, and even gratitude is just amazing. You know how to be polite and how to bear the hurts, aches and pains of life with a smile, you have tremendous patience which is so visible at every step of your little life. You are only 1.3 years old and not even able to have one word in your vocobulary except the word Ammamma, but yet how lovely are the ways you relate to the people. God has given me the most beautiful long hours of staying with you during these 5 months stay over here.
I thought I was all alone back at my home. I was thinking "poor me , I am eating alone, Poor me, I am sleeping alone in my room, Poor me I am seeing the Tv all alone but after I come here, 8/24 hours you are with me, and you make my life beautiful, and filled it with rainbow colors. Every morning you come into my room, and as soon as you saw me you give the most beautiful smile and with open arms you would come hug me, and quiety sit in my lap and take my hand and keep it on the key board of my lap top. you are my Edelweiss, kanna.You are so pure and bright, you are so small and white.. and innocent.
Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Every morning you greet me
Small and white,
clean and bright
You look happy to meet me.

Blossom of snow
may you bloom and grow,
Bloom and grow forever.
Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Bless my homeland forever.
You need that sweet song" Chirakala snehithuda" every day, every morning and every afternoon, and every evening you listen to it twice each time, then happily eiether you go to sleep or go and play with your toys..The way you hold my hand and push it toward the key board is amazing. Some times when I am in another room you will go stright to my room and climb the bed and call me from there. with sweet unkown language.
You are not at peace until and unless you listen to that song.
The other day you mom left you in hurry and closed the basement door on your face without proper " ba bas" (BYE BYES) you started to cry aloud, I did not know what to do.. I tried my level best to console you but you never was like that , you were wailing louder and louder , I was at bay's end, really could not imagine what would make you stop crying. I myself was so tired that day, my voice was half broken, and with a grunt voice I started to sing the song" Chirakala snehithuday" Immediatly soon after I started the song, to the very fist line of the song, you stopped to cry... your face was all red and eyes and cheeks were with fresh tears , but you stopped to cry..
Budda, ( OLD MAN) I call you Budda all the time, you know, yes Budda I am learning many Life lessons from you. one of the lessons is , when you are upset listen to a song where Jesus is our friend, yes, that is what you did know?? great Budda.. Chinni Budda, chinni chinni budda...lol
The other day I wanted to test you to know whether you would like even other songs or only this song, I played one movie song, immediately you started to slide down from my lap and tried to go away from me. Wow , how do you know that song is different from this. hhuh??
My, the way you move your whole body and the gestures you do and the way you nod your head and the way you clap your hands while listening the song.. how can I describe. hey I am very poor poor to describe your vinyaasaalu( Telugu word for climactic subtle movements of body for expression of emotions)

When you hungry you are so cool guy, you never make any fuss, over food, you just open your mouth and eat and when you are done you just nod your head to left to right saying "NO" for any more.
Now a days you learn to drink water in between your meals, so you turn back ward and show the glass , when I ask " You want water, " You just smile. ... wow You are a great expressionist... haha is such word is in English language?, I think I invented it for you? Atleast I never used it in my 55 years of English speaking years.. hahah
This the first time I used it on you. I do not know what more new things and talents you would bring in me in this short period of time that you and me going to spend together.

when I fed you and when I give you hot bath, and wipe you and give you nice fresh clothes, you would give me so many kisses without me asking for them, and show your gratitude to me as if I have done great thing for you. Verily verily I say unto you Budda, even my own children that is Your great mom or your uncle john never never expressed such gratitude to em ever ever in their lives , esp at this tender age.. like you.I bet. haha
when your mom and dad come from their many outings, on different errands, you want to go upstairs to meet them. But as you are so grateful to me you just cannot leave me abruptly and go to them. So you say " ba ba ba " a number times for every step you climb to reach them, and at the curve of the steps you would sit still there, and keep on saying "ba ba ba" at least 25 or 30 times, you know I am telling you the truth, only truth , nothing but the truth, you literally say bab ba ba for so many times and ultimately when the time comes to you climb even that curve of the steps and again you push your head only towards the curve and again you say 'ba ba " and then you will disappear.
What a great buddy yaar!!
You do not have one single word, but what is the language, who needs it, huh? when one's heart is full of feelings, words are not needed kanna...!1 language is known to people who do not have feelings, they speak one thing and feel another thing, people cheat others with theri many words, language has become a tool of deciet in the hands of hooligans.

What is in the language, when you know how to express your feelings, Why the language when it is disguised in white robes with an ugly Halloween face? Why language when you do not mean what you say? Why the language when you use it only to hurt others?
You proved the truth of the life, Golda.!. its the feelings, its the pure and white feelings all that matter. Even If you cannot express, does not matter, your silent presence and sweet smiles gives the fragrance of million roses in one place.. wow .. that is YOU my Golda..
I think when I see you again you will learn many many words, but I am going to take you just as you are now in my remembrances.. I will cherish you and keep this sweet companionship forever and ever in my life till my last breath.
How much love to share everything with others, especially with your akka, oh she calls you " brother" lovely, and you respond to her when she calls you so.
I feel that there is an angel all ways with you. So I ask every day, to know where is the angel. and you smile and show different places.. so I wanted to test you again. Therefore I asked you many times where is mom or dad or akka but you never responded to my query of that sort. Only when I ask you " where is angel ? You smile and show your finger pointing to a specific place or direction. Then i know that for sure that what Jesus said about you little children,.. He said.." The angels of these children all ways look into the face of my Father" ummm what a childhood. what a blessed life is yours Golda..
I once called you my " Sweetheart" immediately your akka objected it, and said" ammamma you call me sweetheart know/?" yes i said, you are the sweetheart no.1 and jayden is sweetheart no.2 hahahlll Life is good and beautiful with you children..!! God bless you! you have made my life worth living here. God bless you!! ammamma

distant mountains are smoother...

We all ways live in hope, hope for the tomorrow, hope for the future, hoping that something good would happen and something beautiful will happen. And also we look to the distant lands, dreaming that they are the most beautiful lands to go. many times we will be utterly disappointed, not only that we will be completely devasted psychologically. Friends and relations promise us that they would show us a colorful life if only we go to them. Once we go then the real life we taste. I know an uncle who was a godly man, very good and gentle, when he became sick , his friends in USA promised him that if only he would come to them from India, they would take care of him in every detail manner. But once he left India along with his wife life they faced here was terrible. Aunty was telling me that they had done grave mistake by coming over here. We lost that dear uncle , he breathed his last in utter disappointemnt and lonliness.
He was a great hero right back in India, everybody loves him so much. he did so many great things for the poor and needy and the church.
That is life. People come to america most of them thinking that they would enjoy life to the uttermost. Relatives visit them with great hopes to enjoy life with great colors that they never imagined. But once we come here, the life is not so easy to live. first of all there is no chance to go out and visit friends, and see the places as it was in India.
The distances are too vast. the transport is too limited. Driving licens is a myth, and drivin it self is an ordeal as the rules are queit different from any country in the world. Yeddam ante theddam is a proverb in telugu. Whole consider to drive sitting on the right side of the car, but americans think sitting on left side is correct to drive the car.
while we travel on the road we consider that we need to drive on the left side road, but here they consider that right side ride to go. when we switch the light we switch it downwards, but here the switches would be upward to light the bulb. These are the only a few examples to make us confused here.

A dream about Rainbow

When I was in 7th class, I had a dream one day. I was seeing a great rain bow in the sky, and I saw it was broken in between all in a sudden and there was a ladder from the sky to the earth, the ladder was full of flowers and leaves, when i looked up I saw Jesus Christ coming down from the rainbow, and He came where I was standing and opened my fist and put a crystal clear box with a gold lid on it. And then He closed my fist with it in side. I still feel that comfortable feeling I had had with Him at this moment, Alas, just then again my mom came inside the room and forced me to get up from my sleep, I was half awake and was crying to her, oh where is my crystal box , where is it. in Telugu i was shouting saying, where is my Bharini, means a precious box .. This dream was so vivid to me, still I cannot forget it.
I cannot forget, the flowers or leaves on the ladder, or the rainbow in the sky, or the touch of Jesus while He was putting the box into my hand. His face was so comely and smiling, and He was in long long white robe. How i wished that that dream could be continued a little more time.

Fire in the Mountain.

When our children were in kindergarten school they used to play a game called "Fire in the mountain" wherein they have to run and run and hide themselves from some unforeseen things and be safe till they were found out.
sometimes I find people in this situation of life. Life is game, we cannot run from it, there are sports of all sorts. some give us pleasure, some make us thrilled, inspired and elevated, exhausted, victorious, etc. But each sport has its own implications upon our personality. The other day I was telling my grand daughter all sorts of plays I enjoyed in my childhood. She is not only surprised but became a great inventor of new plays saying at the end, "ammamma i made it" clever girl. But I am sure I have seen that little trace of disappointment for she does not have that chance of playing those plays i described. Because in America you do not find many children to play with as in the streets of India.
Life gives bitter experiences to some of us. Life will be in different chapters, of a long long novel , each with its own title,and with its own different colors of joy, and sad happenings. They say life is a mix of both. But for some life is a seperate entity of joy and sadness.
When life asks you to be with some strange people, who are no more yours in mind and likings, when you find yourself that you are hooked in there for a while, due to your own commitments or responsibilities you have taken up, you find this sport called " Fire in the mountain" would be a great help.When there is Fire, just run away to the safest place you can rush to. As often as you can, As long as u can. It's not cowardice act. It's the courageous act in fact. and a clever act which is needed at that moment. Bible says," the hurt caused by the words of the mouth" there are some people who enjoys life by saying harsh words to others. They enjoy seeing them being hurt. The real motive behind is their selfishness, or calculating mind, or stinginess, or just the pleasure they derive from hurting others. Tiger, Lion these are carnivorous animals, why do they hunt the other weak animals, apart from the pangs of hunger? Its their nature to hunt,hurt and kill. You cannot change them. They are born like that. Even you pray for them to become soft natured they just cannot , because they love blood, flesh, its their food and drink. When you live with such people in your close circles of life, which is inevitable to escape, you need to find some "Hiding place"
A " hiding place" is nothing but under His wings, the Bible says, " A righteous man will run into the name of the Lord , and consider it as his fortress and he will hide himself there and be safe there." wow its really a great comfort.
When any body ask you what words were uttered by them that you were hurt in such a way. Hey there is no answer for it. Because each word, has not only its dictionary meaning, but also the meaning includes the tone, the gesture of the body, the severity of the voice, and the context of the situation.
for example " you can say to a girl" get up from there" u can say the same word with love, with contempt, with anger, with authority, with severity of hatred etc. so is another one" do not eat that" only the person who was addressed will know how the word was spoken and how he/she was treated by the others. Life is complicated, nothing is fixed as it looks. And when you are just helpless, right in the fold of such people and no way to escape from the physical surroundings, what we can do? say loudly "hey there is Fire in the mountain.. run run run.. " and I add to the Hiding place of His refuge.
I will write all the games and sports and plays we played in our childhood in another chapter which is unlike the other chapter I already wrote before.

Books , my dad introduced...

That picture of my dad and me sitting in his lap with a heavy book in my lap could never be forgotten. Dad used to bring small little english books to me and he used to insist me to read them or he used to read for me. This book was "Lifco English and telugu Dictionary"
He taught me how to find the meaning of new words in this magic book. He turned to the last page of the book and read a chapter on it. It was about the manners of speaking. The title is "Principles of talking" something like that. Now I do not clearly remember. But the content of the article i never forget, because I used to teach this to my students all ways.
1. What we are talking
2 Where we are talking
3 When we are talking
4 How we are talking
5 with Whom we are talking
These 5 Ws should all ways be in our mind when we open our mouth to talk.
This he taught me in my young age. I was all ways opening that little book and used to ponder over that subject, though I was not ready to read it by self at that tender age.
He brought me another book when I was in 10th class, that is about the Simple physical exercise. The title of the book was " Keeping Fit" I was crazy about those exercises, especailly about the slim waist, those days.
In my P U c class he got one wonderful book, by name "The wonders of the World" . This book is still with me. In those days when computers were not there, books were the source of knowldge to us. The interest in the books was initiated by my dad. I was telling about one aunty Kanthamma. Vipparthi. she used to have one brother, namely Raju Vipparthi, he used to write good english letters to my dad, I still remember once my dad made me to learn it by heart, the whole letter.It was in my 9th class. Because Dad was all ways insisting that by learning by heart we will improve our language. I owe to my dad so much. This uncle once he came to visit my parents when I was in PUC he took me to books shop and bought some books of my choice. One of the books I never can forget, it was "Animal Farm" which is still with me. I have another uncle who is the husband of my maternal aunty, that is my mother's youngest sister. This uncle also once took me when I was in B.A to Khoti in Hyderabad, and asked me what do I want to buy, I told him I want to buy some second hand books. So he bought a big heap of books, they were English novels, of Denise Robbins,Pearl.S.Buck, A.J Cronin, Lloyd Douglas, James Chase. As I did my B.A with Telugu literature I has had full command on Telugu language, so I was also reading many books all the time. Books were my friends, all ways, right from my childhood. Those were introduced to me my mom and dad. Dad never used to read novels, but mom used to read so I too was reading some monthly magazines along with her, along with Chandamama, children magazine every month. when I come to know of Jesus my personal Savior, the biographies of the missionaries became my food and drink. we used to spend a lot of money to purchase books. instead of clothes or jewellery, In fact we used to spend only a little for those. Isobel Khun, books, namely By searching, In the Arena, Green Leaf in drought time, and many other books are my favorites. Richard Wumbrand books Tortured for Christ, God's underground church widened my vision of spiritual life. I used to think, how can I live without reading a new book every day. Books are my friends, my solace and my comfort. Among the general books Readers' Digest has been my sole friend.
In fact it has rescued me in life's crisis of mine too. and it was miracle in my life.about the spiritual magazines, Guide Posts were my meat and drink for a long long time. God was giving me the right book in right occasions. Bible is like honeycomb for me. Because God answeres me very clearly to the questions I ask Him. Some times when He answer me thus, I become fully contented and could not proceed furthur, it would be like I have taken a glass of honey, and cannot take further. Only after a while I will go for that nectar again, after a clear gap period of time