Gravity of the earth tricks us.

Ahha, I have come back to my sweet home on November 23rd , 2011, after a long vacation in USA, most of the time I used to spend at my lap top, my day used to begin with Lap top , and ends with lap top, It was my whole life pattern there, it was my knowledge, my entertainment, my music , my friendship, my relations, my link with my Jayden and other sweet freinds in India. My life most of the time in those 5 months, was linked to it, my lonely hours, my fears, my sorrows, my excitements, my feelings everything is known to my little Dell. I cannot imagine my life without my Dell in USA. There was something to write there, something to share with , something to write and feel real. But now after one month stay in India, I hardly feel any touch with Dell, because here there are real people, and real problems, and real life, not an imaginary life which i was in there. The more we involve in life the more we get from it. I had been thinking it was real, and real things were happening over there. But strangely after I came over there, all those things which were so meaningful to me then are disappeared in a inconspicuous way. Oh life is attached to limited people and in limited place, people fall in love with people who are in their live circles, within their vicinity, within their own kith and kin, and think that it is all that matters. once the vicinity is changed everything is changed, everything, yes everything, all desires , feelings and all attachments and all excitements would change The piece of the land to which we are attached gives all emotions to us, once we leave that place every emotion and every attachment that we do entertain would disappear. Oh how I wish I could have wings so that I need not stuck up with one piece of earth where I live. I do not know why God gave gravity power to the earth. we human beings are glued to this earth, and to the piece of land we possessed, and to the land where we are born, and we are attached to the people, in the name of language, customs and familiarity we are glued to the piece of the land where we live, once we leave that piece of land we are free from everything that bound us there. we forget people, and they forget us, simply there wont be any connection between us. It is strange, only when we come back we feel to contact the same people once again, till then we are simply forgotten. Now I understand what it is really mean when Jesus said, " look at the birds, they won't sow, or harvest or do not weave or hoard things like we people do, they do not worry" Because they never lay their feet on earth, even if they do it is just for few seconds, they fly, stay up in the sky and migrate, live on trees, they are not attached or glued to the earth or controlled by the gravity of the globe. No wonder King David prayed like this, ' How I wish I could have wings like a dove , so that I can fly and go and hide in a forest." Once we flew from this great earth, nothing is left for us to remember, or for others to remember us. The houses we love so much, the bed the wash room we are so much accustomed, the people we are so much linked with, everything is forgotten. It so happend to me when I was in USA, and when I was there I thought I was all in all there and I forgot everything and everyone here. I started to cultivate new habits, make new friends, tast new type of food, found new pattern of life was more enchanting. Once I came back all that i was fond of there even the few new dresses such as pants and shirts and shoes became so useless, and became out of place here.
Now I know the secret of freedom, I tell you one thing very clearly, which I am experiencing so vividly, that is just believe that everything that you are involved now is a waste once you leave that place. Neither Home nor the furniture or the books or plants you are so involved now are not more yours really once you leave this place.

My last day with Jayden/jessi

Tomorrow would be the last day for me to play with Jayden. As I had been telling you all the time, that for me "children are the SIGNS of God's presence for me" whenever I feel depressed or afraid of situation, one little girl/boy come and lighten up my life, many a times before. And I used to write about those incidents all the time. and take that opportunity to thank my God for His wonderful sweet presence. For the past 5 months the presence of Jayden and Jessica in my life made me to feel the presence of God abundantly, and all the time.
Because of them I did not feel lonely , depressed, or afraid of anything in my life.
Here are some more beautiful episodes of jayden which I wanted to record here.
Now a days, he became very naughty and playful. yelling loudly is one of the things.
He became expert in handling the "touch pad" and knows how to wait for the song he chose to listen. Can you believe it, a toddler handling the touch pad, whereas his mother cannot trust me that I can use it for myself. lol
(i.e. Laughing on the line) when I tell him to go to sleep, I tell him "close your eyes" then he just tilt his head to one side , without closing eyes and smiles at me. That is his gesture to me to pacify my that he is going to sleep. But he never would sleep so easily, I need to play so many lullaby and I myself has to sing for him for long long time. Its not so easy to make him satisfied. He looks like that he is very much fond of the songs in his little life. Now a days he is not putting the little things he found by his little eyes on the ground, instead he is bringing those little little things with his fingers and show them to me and when I say " chee chee, trash trash." he too would throw them jerking his arm fastly. Do you that he is expert in giving " artificial laughs?/" oh he is, his sister says, that they are fake laughs. He is just an expert I say , whenever we both sit in front of the TV, and when I change the channel, I donot know what happens in his little brain, he lifts his head towards me and give a loud fake laughter. as if he understood the TV programme and as if there is something to laugh at, he laughs as the adults laugh for some funny scene in the TV
Some times he asks me to hold his hand while I am climbing or getting down the steps. and now a days he does not slide on the steps but walk like me, if do not coperate he makes much louder cry , and make me to help him to walk. He knows how to use the hands, of mine. He all ways have an eye on my hands, when he wants to climb into my lap or on to the bed, he does not look at me , but he looks at the hands of mine and push them according to his will and direction and make me to help him what he wants to do.
When he wants to go out, he says " ba ba" ( i. e., bye bye) many times. till his little head is invisible to me ... He is the most mannerly gentleman I ever knew. The other day we went to some friends house. after the dinner he went to the head of the family all by himself and hugged him and smiled, he did so to every one when we asked him to repeat that gesture of thanks giving.
He deos not feel shy to thank people or show love to them, which is a great trait of gentleness in this little individual. I see great patience, and wait for us to clean him, or feed him or play with him.
what a beautiful soul, I am afraid I may become "Jayden sick" when I go back home.
Jessica is another little thing, a tiny and puny sweet charming girlie. she loves her brother so much. you have to see the love pouring out of her eyes and face when she talks to her brother. she calls him hi little buddy brother. Both play so lovingly and shares any eatable thing with each other. Jessica all ways says, that she is "big sister: " and takes care of her brother so much. helps her dady so much. she is so cute and lively, not even one minute she keeps quiet. play peona, draw the pictures, see the computer nick jr. or see science kid in tv or play with toys sometimes. she is the leader all the time, takes charge of all the children, around her. she likes to teach and direct the things to everyone, including me. She loves to explain things and wants everyone to do things correctly. She corrects others all ways. unlike her brother , she eats very sparingly, never feel hungry, and tells me sometimes. " amma mma, do not disturb me I want to think for a while" wow what such a little thing ( four and half years old telling that she should not be disturbed because she wants to think??) She is very particular of correct accent and pronunciation of each English word, and grammar, and right word in right place.
she speaks so sweetly, the other day she was saying something like this.." the other day, umm the other other day, when I was wake.. um when I was awake I found that it was the morning." Oh this little one knows when to use the word"wake' or 'awake" great. I donot know when I will see them again, but these and many unwritten memories filled my heart with great satisfaction of joy and worth. These little ones love me just as I am, even when I am uncombed, dishelved, or ugly to look at their love is unjudgemental, their kisses are unconditional, their logning for my hand is undaunted, their desire for my presence is unblemished. I enjoyed to true love in its real sense. I often forgot that they are my grand children and I used to call them as John instead of Jayden and Happy instead of Jessica . My sweet youthful days of motherhood came again to revive me and make me joyful and enthusiastic, and made me sing all those old songs i sang for my children when they were tiny things like these are. Especailly the song " DEva paapini" when I sing for them, it gives me the same freshness of joy when I was singing it loudly in my kitchen along with Happy the three year old one at that time.
I enjoyed telling all those sweet stories and songs I told my children long long back.
When childrne grown up they look at you in different way, they forget the sweet love of mother once they enjoyed in her lap, the way she fed them played with them, helped them to grow into beautiful souls as of now. but the grandchildren will make you to realize that the mother instinct in you would never go away, however be the situations turned down.
Its way of life. and Its an accepted phase of life.
Life has a chance to turn around with the little grand children. Happy gave me a birthday gift which says," grand children gill the gap of circle of love" How true it is, all my life I loved my parents, my sisters, then my husband, children ... and at the end comes the grand children into my love circle of family members. Love reigns over my life, I did good things to them all thru my life never i thougt of giving less things to them, I wanted to give the best to them,my belongings , my time and my energy, I gave them the best, not the second best even. God is my reward, and I see now I am even able to love the same way I loved before. And my grand children are the last resorts of my love life. Strangely this month i am leaving and the calnder word is Mark 10:14. Let the little chidren come to me , the kingdom of God is theirs" jesus said so. you know there were two little children brother and sister running .. and the other day I found a beautiful pic on the wall of Lighthouse Community Center of Finny Mathew and Martha Brown. Here I am uploading it , we used to have a picture on our wall in our home just like this one wherein Jesus was behind them with his both hands protecting them behind them without their knowledge.

Jayden-my Edelweiss

Jayden, you are my life, my joy, my very essence of the existence.The way you show your feelings, the way you express your emotions, the way you show your love and affection, and even gratitude is just amazing. You know how to be polite and how to bear the hurts, aches and pains of life with a smile, you have tremendous patience which is so visible at every step of your little life. You are only 1.3 years old and not even able to have one word in your vocobulary except the word Ammamma, but yet how lovely are the ways you relate to the people. God has given me the most beautiful long hours of staying with you during these 5 months stay over here.
I thought I was all alone back at my home. I was thinking "poor me , I am eating alone, Poor me, I am sleeping alone in my room, Poor me I am seeing the Tv all alone but after I come here, 8/24 hours you are with me, and you make my life beautiful, and filled it with rainbow colors. Every morning you come into my room, and as soon as you saw me you give the most beautiful smile and with open arms you would come hug me, and quiety sit in my lap and take my hand and keep it on the key board of my lap top. you are my Edelweiss, kanna.You are so pure and bright, you are so small and white.. and innocent.
Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Every morning you greet me
Small and white,
clean and bright
You look happy to meet me.

Blossom of snow
may you bloom and grow,
Bloom and grow forever.
Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Bless my homeland forever.
You need that sweet song" Chirakala snehithuda" every day, every morning and every afternoon, and every evening you listen to it twice each time, then happily eiether you go to sleep or go and play with your toys..The way you hold my hand and push it toward the key board is amazing. Some times when I am in another room you will go stright to my room and climb the bed and call me from there. with sweet unkown language.
You are not at peace until and unless you listen to that song.
The other day you mom left you in hurry and closed the basement door on your face without proper " ba bas" (BYE BYES) you started to cry aloud, I did not know what to do.. I tried my level best to console you but you never was like that , you were wailing louder and louder , I was at bay's end, really could not imagine what would make you stop crying. I myself was so tired that day, my voice was half broken, and with a grunt voice I started to sing the song" Chirakala snehithuday" Immediatly soon after I started the song, to the very fist line of the song, you stopped to cry... your face was all red and eyes and cheeks were with fresh tears , but you stopped to cry..
Budda, ( OLD MAN) I call you Budda all the time, you know, yes Budda I am learning many Life lessons from you. one of the lessons is , when you are upset listen to a song where Jesus is our friend, yes, that is what you did know?? great Budda.. Chinni Budda, chinni chinni budda...lol
The other day I wanted to test you to know whether you would like even other songs or only this song, I played one movie song, immediately you started to slide down from my lap and tried to go away from me. Wow , how do you know that song is different from this. hhuh??
My, the way you move your whole body and the gestures you do and the way you nod your head and the way you clap your hands while listening the song.. how can I describe. hey I am very poor poor to describe your vinyaasaalu( Telugu word for climactic subtle movements of body for expression of emotions)

When you hungry you are so cool guy, you never make any fuss, over food, you just open your mouth and eat and when you are done you just nod your head to left to right saying "NO" for any more.
Now a days you learn to drink water in between your meals, so you turn back ward and show the glass , when I ask " You want water, " You just smile. ... wow You are a great expressionist... haha is such word is in English language?, I think I invented it for you? Atleast I never used it in my 55 years of English speaking years.. hahah
This the first time I used it on you. I do not know what more new things and talents you would bring in me in this short period of time that you and me going to spend together.

when I fed you and when I give you hot bath, and wipe you and give you nice fresh clothes, you would give me so many kisses without me asking for them, and show your gratitude to me as if I have done great thing for you. Verily verily I say unto you Budda, even my own children that is Your great mom or your uncle john never never expressed such gratitude to em ever ever in their lives , esp at this tender age.. like you.I bet. haha
when your mom and dad come from their many outings, on different errands, you want to go upstairs to meet them. But as you are so grateful to me you just cannot leave me abruptly and go to them. So you say " ba ba ba " a number times for every step you climb to reach them, and at the curve of the steps you would sit still there, and keep on saying "ba ba ba" at least 25 or 30 times, you know I am telling you the truth, only truth , nothing but the truth, you literally say bab ba ba for so many times and ultimately when the time comes to you climb even that curve of the steps and again you push your head only towards the curve and again you say 'ba ba " and then you will disappear.
What a great buddy yaar!!
You do not have one single word, but what is the language, who needs it, huh? when one's heart is full of feelings, words are not needed kanna...!1 language is known to people who do not have feelings, they speak one thing and feel another thing, people cheat others with theri many words, language has become a tool of deciet in the hands of hooligans.

What is in the language, when you know how to express your feelings, Why the language when it is disguised in white robes with an ugly Halloween face? Why language when you do not mean what you say? Why the language when you use it only to hurt others?
You proved the truth of the life, Golda.!. its the feelings, its the pure and white feelings all that matter. Even If you cannot express, does not matter, your silent presence and sweet smiles gives the fragrance of million roses in one place.. wow .. that is YOU my Golda..
I think when I see you again you will learn many many words, but I am going to take you just as you are now in my remembrances.. I will cherish you and keep this sweet companionship forever and ever in my life till my last breath.
How much love to share everything with others, especially with your akka, oh she calls you " brother" lovely, and you respond to her when she calls you so.
I feel that there is an angel all ways with you. So I ask every day, to know where is the angel. and you smile and show different places.. so I wanted to test you again. Therefore I asked you many times where is mom or dad or akka but you never responded to my query of that sort. Only when I ask you " where is angel ? You smile and show your finger pointing to a specific place or direction. Then i know that for sure that what Jesus said about you little children,.. He said.." The angels of these children all ways look into the face of my Father" ummm what a childhood. what a blessed life is yours Golda..
I once called you my " Sweetheart" immediately your akka objected it, and said" ammamma you call me sweetheart know/?" yes i said, you are the sweetheart no.1 and jayden is sweetheart no.2 hahahlll Life is good and beautiful with you children..!! God bless you! you have made my life worth living here. God bless you!! ammamma

distant mountains are smoother...

We all ways live in hope, hope for the tomorrow, hope for the future, hoping that something good would happen and something beautiful will happen. And also we look to the distant lands, dreaming that they are the most beautiful lands to go. many times we will be utterly disappointed, not only that we will be completely devasted psychologically. Friends and relations promise us that they would show us a colorful life if only we go to them. Once we go then the real life we taste. I know an uncle who was a godly man, very good and gentle, when he became sick , his friends in USA promised him that if only he would come to them from India, they would take care of him in every detail manner. But once he left India along with his wife life they faced here was terrible. Aunty was telling me that they had done grave mistake by coming over here. We lost that dear uncle , he breathed his last in utter disappointemnt and lonliness.
He was a great hero right back in India, everybody loves him so much. he did so many great things for the poor and needy and the church.
That is life. People come to america most of them thinking that they would enjoy life to the uttermost. Relatives visit them with great hopes to enjoy life with great colors that they never imagined. But once we come here, the life is not so easy to live. first of all there is no chance to go out and visit friends, and see the places as it was in India.
The distances are too vast. the transport is too limited. Driving licens is a myth, and drivin it self is an ordeal as the rules are queit different from any country in the world. Yeddam ante theddam is a proverb in telugu. Whole consider to drive sitting on the right side of the car, but americans think sitting on left side is correct to drive the car.
while we travel on the road we consider that we need to drive on the left side road, but here they consider that right side ride to go. when we switch the light we switch it downwards, but here the switches would be upward to light the bulb. These are the only a few examples to make us confused here.

A dream about Rainbow

When I was in 7th class, I had a dream one day. I was seeing a great rain bow in the sky, and I saw it was broken in between all in a sudden and there was a ladder from the sky to the earth, the ladder was full of flowers and leaves, when i looked up I saw Jesus Christ coming down from the rainbow, and He came where I was standing and opened my fist and put a crystal clear box with a gold lid on it. And then He closed my fist with it in side. I still feel that comfortable feeling I had had with Him at this moment, Alas, just then again my mom came inside the room and forced me to get up from my sleep, I was half awake and was crying to her, oh where is my crystal box , where is it. in Telugu i was shouting saying, where is my Bharini, means a precious box .. This dream was so vivid to me, still I cannot forget it.
I cannot forget, the flowers or leaves on the ladder, or the rainbow in the sky, or the touch of Jesus while He was putting the box into my hand. His face was so comely and smiling, and He was in long long white robe. How i wished that that dream could be continued a little more time.

Fire in the Mountain.

When our children were in kindergarten school they used to play a game called "Fire in the mountain" wherein they have to run and run and hide themselves from some unforeseen things and be safe till they were found out.
sometimes I find people in this situation of life. Life is game, we cannot run from it, there are sports of all sorts. some give us pleasure, some make us thrilled, inspired and elevated, exhausted, victorious, etc. But each sport has its own implications upon our personality. The other day I was telling my grand daughter all sorts of plays I enjoyed in my childhood. She is not only surprised but became a great inventor of new plays saying at the end, "ammamma i made it" clever girl. But I am sure I have seen that little trace of disappointment for she does not have that chance of playing those plays i described. Because in America you do not find many children to play with as in the streets of India.
Life gives bitter experiences to some of us. Life will be in different chapters, of a long long novel , each with its own title,and with its own different colors of joy, and sad happenings. They say life is a mix of both. But for some life is a seperate entity of joy and sadness.
When life asks you to be with some strange people, who are no more yours in mind and likings, when you find yourself that you are hooked in there for a while, due to your own commitments or responsibilities you have taken up, you find this sport called " Fire in the mountain" would be a great help.When there is Fire, just run away to the safest place you can rush to. As often as you can, As long as u can. It's not cowardice act. It's the courageous act in fact. and a clever act which is needed at that moment. Bible says," the hurt caused by the words of the mouth" there are some people who enjoys life by saying harsh words to others. They enjoy seeing them being hurt. The real motive behind is their selfishness, or calculating mind, or stinginess, or just the pleasure they derive from hurting others. Tiger, Lion these are carnivorous animals, why do they hunt the other weak animals, apart from the pangs of hunger? Its their nature to hunt,hurt and kill. You cannot change them. They are born like that. Even you pray for them to become soft natured they just cannot , because they love blood, flesh, its their food and drink. When you live with such people in your close circles of life, which is inevitable to escape, you need to find some "Hiding place"
A " hiding place" is nothing but under His wings, the Bible says, " A righteous man will run into the name of the Lord , and consider it as his fortress and he will hide himself there and be safe there." wow its really a great comfort.
When any body ask you what words were uttered by them that you were hurt in such a way. Hey there is no answer for it. Because each word, has not only its dictionary meaning, but also the meaning includes the tone, the gesture of the body, the severity of the voice, and the context of the situation.
for example " you can say to a girl" get up from there" u can say the same word with love, with contempt, with anger, with authority, with severity of hatred etc. so is another one" do not eat that" only the person who was addressed will know how the word was spoken and how he/she was treated by the others. Life is complicated, nothing is fixed as it looks. And when you are just helpless, right in the fold of such people and no way to escape from the physical surroundings, what we can do? say loudly "hey there is Fire in the mountain.. run run run.. " and I add to the Hiding place of His refuge.
I will write all the games and sports and plays we played in our childhood in another chapter which is unlike the other chapter I already wrote before.

Books , my dad introduced...

That picture of my dad and me sitting in his lap with a heavy book in my lap could never be forgotten. Dad used to bring small little english books to me and he used to insist me to read them or he used to read for me. This book was "Lifco English and telugu Dictionary"
He taught me how to find the meaning of new words in this magic book. He turned to the last page of the book and read a chapter on it. It was about the manners of speaking. The title is "Principles of talking" something like that. Now I do not clearly remember. But the content of the article i never forget, because I used to teach this to my students all ways.
1. What we are talking
2 Where we are talking
3 When we are talking
4 How we are talking
5 with Whom we are talking
These 5 Ws should all ways be in our mind when we open our mouth to talk.
This he taught me in my young age. I was all ways opening that little book and used to ponder over that subject, though I was not ready to read it by self at that tender age.
He brought me another book when I was in 10th class, that is about the Simple physical exercise. The title of the book was " Keeping Fit" I was crazy about those exercises, especailly about the slim waist, those days.
In my P U c class he got one wonderful book, by name "The wonders of the World" . This book is still with me. In those days when computers were not there, books were the source of knowldge to us. The interest in the books was initiated by my dad. I was telling about one aunty Kanthamma. Vipparthi. she used to have one brother, namely Raju Vipparthi, he used to write good english letters to my dad, I still remember once my dad made me to learn it by heart, the whole letter.It was in my 9th class. Because Dad was all ways insisting that by learning by heart we will improve our language. I owe to my dad so much. This uncle once he came to visit my parents when I was in PUC he took me to books shop and bought some books of my choice. One of the books I never can forget, it was "Animal Farm" which is still with me. I have another uncle who is the husband of my maternal aunty, that is my mother's youngest sister. This uncle also once took me when I was in B.A to Khoti in Hyderabad, and asked me what do I want to buy, I told him I want to buy some second hand books. So he bought a big heap of books, they were English novels, of Denise Robbins,Pearl.S.Buck, A.J Cronin, Lloyd Douglas, James Chase. As I did my B.A with Telugu literature I has had full command on Telugu language, so I was also reading many books all the time. Books were my friends, all ways, right from my childhood. Those were introduced to me my mom and dad. Dad never used to read novels, but mom used to read so I too was reading some monthly magazines along with her, along with Chandamama, children magazine every month. when I come to know of Jesus my personal Savior, the biographies of the missionaries became my food and drink. we used to spend a lot of money to purchase books. instead of clothes or jewellery, In fact we used to spend only a little for those. Isobel Khun, books, namely By searching, In the Arena, Green Leaf in drought time, and many other books are my favorites. Richard Wumbrand books Tortured for Christ, God's underground church widened my vision of spiritual life. I used to think, how can I live without reading a new book every day. Books are my friends, my solace and my comfort. Among the general books Readers' Digest has been my sole friend.
In fact it has rescued me in life's crisis of mine too. and it was miracle in my life.about the spiritual magazines, Guide Posts were my meat and drink for a long long time. God was giving me the right book in right occasions. Bible is like honeycomb for me. Because God answeres me very clearly to the questions I ask Him. Some times when He answer me thus, I become fully contented and could not proceed furthur, it would be like I have taken a glass of honey, and cannot take further. Only after a while I will go for that nectar again, after a clear gap period of time

Three years old me..

In Vizag I was three years old, we used to have Nawab, a muslim constable as an attender at home, specially to take care of me. I was his real pet, he used to take care of me very well, I still remember him so much for I used to call him Naabu, he used to bring the smallest bottles of Aththar, sweet scent bottles for my dad. Once he took me to the photo studio and took a photo of me, on a wooden horse, that photo is still with me now. later when i get older, and when i got the job as Lecturer in Eluru, i went to Rajahmundry to see Nawab in his police quarters. He became so old, and still remember me. In those days, the police departments was under the purview of the Britishers, still, we used to stay in a Big bungalow, my father was Police Sub Inspector then, they used to call him as Sargent, In those days they used to wear short khaki knickers as pants and one constable used to come early morning to help my dad to dress for the morning marching in the police parade ground. The whole ground was green pastured in those days, with white wo.oden fencing, around the house. The same sort of fencing now I see in America. We bought a small iron machine from the Britishers which is a minute size of the machines where in we keep rice or wheat, or coffee seeds to make Ravva, or flour by fixing the machine to the door. That machine is still we us. though we are not using it now thereby it got rusted. I used to pose as the top actress Anjali Devi of those days, and say to my dad, "Nanna, i am anjali devi, and used to dance with the song in anarkali " Jeevithame safalamu." and another song, " konda meedha kokkirai, kaalu jaari kuli poye, kokko kokko." we used to go to cine hall and sit in reserved boxes to see the cinema. when I get sleep my dad used to take me out for some air, or rub his two palms so hard and make them warm and put them on my eye lids, to evade the sleep. This much only I remember in my three years old

28th Sept,11 -Day 1(b)( His Blood)

I was praying for the healing of my sever back ach and pain in the toes, legs, knees and finger joints, etc, I got sever viral fever and was bed ridden for a month , last September, since then I suffered so much as my mobility was completely restricted to limited places.
so while I was praying the Lord to heal me completely, and claiming His blood over my achs and pains. Suddenly I realized, that How easily I am asking my Saviour to pour His blood on me, its blood, the blood He shed with great suffering, He healed me so many times in the past, when I was sick, with jaundice He healed me over night after three months of my stay on the death bed. He was there every time I called upon His name to heal me for every ailment of mine and my children and my family and for my loved ones. I just claim His blood, not thinking much of His suffering, even when I think of it, it would be a separate entity. May be when I was thinking and taking the Holy communion, the other times I just take it granted to believe in His blood .. in all my sufferings. He sheds His blood, so that I can be healed, how much I owe to Him. If any of my friend suffer a little for my sake I try to be grateful to him so much for the trouble he has taken, How much more should I be grateful to Him for all the victories He is giving to me through His blood. Yes I beleive His blood would heal me , His blood, His sacrificial blood for me.

Indelible prints in childhood

We used to think that we can say anything to the children, because they do not understand anything. some times some people mistreat little children when their parents are not around or scold them and beat them/ But remember everything that they see and hear will be imprinted in their little minds. When my mom was in the hospital for her delivery of Pedda Baby and Chinna baby, one other aunty by name Shantha used to come and stay with us to help in household course. One day while giving bath to me she pinched me on my stomoch , I was only 4 years old then, but I did not like the way she treated me, and never I made friendship with her all through my life till I attained 18years, when I went to her house once, and then she took care of me very well then only I started to like her. Till then I avoided her so much. The angels of the little children all ways look into the face of the Father, thus saith Our Lord, Jesus Christ. If we hurt them God will take revenge on us. Our children used to have a school Drill master, he used to beat the little children so severely, once my daughter told me that in the picnic when his Telugu novel was not found he made all those 7 year old children to stand in the blazing sun for hours together. Nobody dared to to question him because he had such a big mouth he shouts at any one. One day we suddenly heard that he got a stoke in the play ground and fall on the floor. Since then he was crippled and could not do his job till he died after 8 or 10 years. Even this aunty was not blessed with children, she suffered so much but at last she came to know of God , and realized her mistakes . I all ways believe that the little children are the sign of God to me, They come and cheer me up in unexpected places and in unexpected ways. I am not saying that God will punish all the people who mistreat children, but I am sure this one thing God would not tolerate because He loves children much more than any one. When He was on this earth, He hugged them, blessed them, and said only unless we become like those children we would not enter His kingdom. Children loved Him so much, and they were the one who praised Him on palm Sunday before he entered into Jerusalem for the last passover.

Games and playing in childhood.

                            2013//  Today I went out for a walk along with Jessica, it was hardly five or six houses away, but we had a lot of fun while walking.
           she talks non-stop tells me everything as if I am a little kid, I feel its nice to be treated as a kid sometimes, wah, she was telling me that I should not walk on the road but only on the foot path, for which i exclaimed and pretended as if I come to know of that new piece of information just then.
              She cautioned me not to walk near the water holes, and I should be very careful there. later she picked a number of acorns telling me that she would like to plant them and see how they grow into a tree.
           I told her she better take a little seed and plant and see how it grows. The acorns were in the dried up flowers, so she was so excited to see them, saying that she never knew that the acorns will be in the flowers like that. we had a nice inspection of different flowers all through the foot path,
           I told her we used to play with marbles the play named "Gachchangayalu" and showed her how I could play the same game with the acorns.
       she was astonished the way i played by throwing an acorn into the air and picking another one from the table and also catching the acorn in the air at the same time.
         I told her we used to play the same game with tamarind seeds, and with nice stones, and also marbles and with gray colour seeds which just look like acorns in our area.
          She was so happy to know that and asked me whether i was playing that game with my dad, i told her ,no it was was with my friends.
                  It was really nice to recollect all those old childhood plays once again and playing them with my grand child.
 We also used play a game called Dhadi, where we used to make chekers on the ground, with a chalk piece, if it is in the sand we used to make the pattern of the game with our feet. we have to jump and play that game all the time. It was the most wonderful game.
          and another game Ashtachemma, and also dhadi sitting on the floor. we used to play hours together, and another game called Vaikunta pali, that is the present day "Ladder and snakes" game like.
 We used to play carems, cards, and dhagudu muthalu,
 and many others. I used to have a lot of clothe pieces for my toys. Most of the time the we were making them of with the palm tree leaf, or some times wood toys too, we used to have one male and female toy we used to dress them differently with the clothes we have and perform marriages to them.. and used to bring some rice and cook on a three stone oven. without the knowledge of our parents.
 I learned to prepare kites and so me and my friend Manorama used to fly them and enjoy a lot. me and my another friend Sobha used to have a lot of fun on summer afternoons, when elders were taking rest in the home we both used to sneek out and throw little stones at the palm trees and get nice tasty ripened Eetha kayalu. and chinthakayalu, and seema chintha kayalu.
        These trees are in and around our compound. some times we used to make paper boats and see them how they travel in the puddles of the rain water in front of our house.
 Once when I was in my fifth class I read a story book , in fact I was reading books right from my 4th classon wards, like chandamama, and many story books which were braought by guests to our home. those stories were about the Bhoja raju kadhalu, and Bethala kadhalu, every month we used to get chandamama to home, in one of the story book i read one of the prince became a stone and could not move, then another princess found him as a stone and she cut her finger and poured that blood on the statue of the prince and he became alive.
 This i liked very much and I thought it was true, so I took my toy prince and pricked my little finger with a needle and rubbed that blood on it. Alas nothing happened, I was really really disappointed .
        In our school we used to have a lot of green ground, so we used to roll on over it make our clothes so dirty. we used to play Sthambala aata too. On our way home from school there was a tall tree with white flowers with a long tail , we used to pick them in our frocks, and we used to make long garlands, by plaits of those tails, we used to call them Thokamalli puvvulu. My mom used to take the seeds of pumpkin and rub kachchika podi and spread them on cheta, and dry them on the top of the roof, after two days, we used to sit and open those seeds and eat the inside pappu, it was so tasty.
Life was full of mysteries, we used to make fans with palm leaves and run on the streets so that they can whirl round and round.
 Later I learned cycling, in our town Machilipatnam., only me and daughter of the District judge used to cyle to school, The judges bungalow was in three acres of land, whereas ours was in half an acre only, she was such a beautiful girl, we both studied in Lady yampthil school in Bandar, another name for machilipatnam.
Real play time I had had when I was in the 4th class on wards to 9th class, i.e., from 9 years to 13 years of age.
we used to play many other games like Chemma Chekka, oppula kuppa voyyari bhama, vaana vaana vallappa, gudi gudi gunjam, kaalla gajji ,dhadi ashtachemmata, carems, cards, collecting guru ginjalu, so on and so forth. and even once i made dung cakes along with my friend shoba to put them on muggulu in front of our house. We used to wake up early in the morning and wait for the cows to cross over our ground, and waiting for the dung of them we both used to run to them and bring them to make small balls and keep them on the muggu we made in front of our house with some flowers on them. and in the evening we used to take them and hit them on a wall , and make a hole in between them. later when they were dried, we used to make them into a dung garland to burn them to a special festival called Bhogi,

28th Sept,11 -Day 1(a)

I know that I have to pray that the Lord is Lord of all, my resources, my life, my everything belong to Him. i used to give Him even the 10th of my time, and thus acknowledging Him over my 24 hours of the day too. I used to preach/advice others about this concept of acknowledging Him as the Lord of each life. But lately I became so engrossed over the trivial foolish things of the world, and started to feel that ' My time is mine, I can get up at any time, I can go to sleep any time, I can relax at any time, I can eat at any time, do my hobbies at any time." Though it is true and look like very harmless, outwardly, suddenly I realized that there is that egoistic word,"I" is overlapping all my thinking. "I, I, I, I"
the I concept which ruined the life of the King Nebuchadnezzar, in the chapter 4 of Daniel, verses 28 to 33--- the king said " Is it not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?" I have built, my mighty power, of my majesty... And he was driven away from people and ate grass like cattle. oh I know there was confusion in the mind of the king, because he was thinking that he was the ruler of his life. ---Oh what i am doing now, I am thinking that my time, my life, my earnings, my time ... my time. Oh no i cannot have power over my time. any more. I should give 10th of 24 hours to Him. It belongs to Him not to me. In that case what I have to do, I have to spend that time with Him. He needs to be worshipped, He needs our love, our companionship, our stay with Him, after all we spend time with our family members, our friends to improve our relationship with them, Otherwise any human relationship is wasted in long course of time. so is with our Lord, I must be with Him and do what He wants me to do. Is it a new revelation for me, na, no, na, I knew it with my mind all these years, and I used to give Him that because I need to , but not with love, it was a duty for me, but now its my love for Him, God is love and how much love i get from Him and how much love I could give to Him.. let me learn of this at His feet alone.

Teach your child ..

Coming back to Guntur, at the age of 4 years , I have a very vivid incident in my memory, It was the time that my mom beat me with coconut broom sticks. As I was very fondly child to my parents, I used to show authority over the constables who work in our home, and the servants who help my mom. My mom used to teach me all good manners etc, she never allowed me to use foul language at all. She particularity told me that i should not show authority over the workers in the home or use any bad language. I do not know where i picked up a foul word, but once I used it on the servant in the home. When my mom heard it, she came with the broom stick and gave me left and right with it. I cried and cried aloud, but without mercy she punished me, that was the only incident i remember that my mom beat me at all. But it was very good punishment for me because I never used that foul word in my life again.
there were little boys and girls in our street, and mom never allowed me to go out into the street to play with them. But without her knowledge I used to go out, may be when she was taking siesta, and used to play with them the game named Bachcha.. a game where we used to pile the cigar pack covers and hit them with a flat stone from distance. wow it was a thrilling game for me, I used to play with them. and get scoldings from mom for spoiling my dress with dust.
My dad used to have all gadgets of entertainment in our home. Like we used to have a very BIG gramaphone, I used to sit near it and observe the picture on the records, a dog and a speaker, with words, my Master's voice. My dad told me those words and meaning. We used to have a very Big radio too. And my dad got an extension for it with small speaker box, into the kitchen, where my mom can listen to the radio while cooking, this extension box was so fascinating to me, some times i used to beg my dad to give me that box to keep it in my lap. I wondered how it can speak like that. One day I mad my dad to open it to see whether there were men inside, when i saw some small wires and nodules, i thought those must be the little men in side the box who are talking out.
I used to spend hours together keeping the box in my lap.
My dad bought Nail cutter, and it was great fun to me , as my dad himself used to cut my nails and colour them some times. My mom was very much against me having nail polish and lip stick, but I loved my dad for he was the one who used to bring all those things for me. He used to buy the best dresses for me, like silk skirts, and red and green velvet blouses, and two finger rings with red and green stones, and nice gold chain etc, Once we had a photo me sitting in between two chairs leaning on my dad, he kept his hand on my shoulder and talking to the photographer, he was just feeling the velvet blouse of mine while he was talking, and i felt so cozy, and i did not move an inch , lest he may take away that hand from my shoulder, u can see that picture and can see me how obediently i sat there, enjoying the warmth of my dad's love.
Once dad wanted to have my photo so he called the photographer, you know in those days the photo was taken with much pomp and glory, we used to get ready atleast for an hour, choosing the dress, ornaments, etc. Even the photographer used to take lot of time to set his equipment to take one photo. Ultimately every thing was ready and I was asked to stand on a stool, my mom tied my hair into two plaits with red ribbons, and dressed me with wheat colour silk flowery disigned skirt and blouse. When i stood there I was much fascinated by the spects of the photographer, and i wanted them immediatly, However my parents and the photo grapher tried to convince me not to ask them, I did not listen to them it seems, and my mom told me later that they asked the photo grapher to take me a little bit fatty as i was too thin to look at. I do not know was it possible in those days, but it seems i am chubby in that photo

My mom was joined in Khuglar's hospital in Guntur for the delivery of my younger sister, whom we called her Baby, she was a premature baby, born in 7th month, When I was taken to the hospital, to see my mom and sister, there were two nurses namely Leela and Rani, who took me to the room where my mom was there. She was laing on a very white bed with white clothes. the baby was kept near her in an incubator. Mom told the nurses, "Leela may be afraid to see the baby, do not show her" But any way i managed to look into the incubator, and there lies a little one very very thin , in the white cotton folds, and with a electric bulb on top of her. Later i heard my mom telling her friends, that the baby was born after cutting her stomach, and they used to ask her to show it, she used to show the stitches on her stomach and they used to show their astonishment by saying " oh my cutting the stomach and taking the baby, it is a wonder." Then my mom used to describe the baby, when she was born she was like a little mouse, with thread like fingers, and big head and small body, the foreign doctors told dad that the baby cannot survive so leave the the child in the hospital and take mom home. But dad said," No i will take the baby and take care of her in the Incubator at home. I will not leave my baby here in the hospital." so he arranged a room for her with incubator, friends of mom and dad used to come to see the baby tip toed and used to see the baby from distance, and go. Because often they used to say that i will be afraid to see the baby in the hospital, even though i was not really afraid to see her, i pretended that i was afraid and hid my face in the shoulder of the nurse who took me there. and all of them said, " see see, she is afraid and took me out of the rrom. though i did not like to to go out, i had to go out because i pretended taht i was afraid. Funny. Later in the room Dad brought VAttivrellu and hung them all over the room to give a cool climate in the room. he used to wet those root curtains with water for coolness of the room. My dad used to take me into his lap and teach me many things, especially English language. He used to bring books for me with A B C letters and pictures. I still remember the letter C and cup B and the bun. I used to have a very big doll which i never leave anywhere.

Madras --- my sweet chilhood stories

Do you think that my christian life started since then, and I am a blessed girl to love God from that very tender age? oh no, It was only a little seed of faith, It did not sprout till 20 years after. I just come to know that , " Only Jesus Christ is the real God, and none other idols I see around do not have any meaning for me, and in heart of hearts I know that they are not gods, but man made statues."
Before coming to Guntur, we were in Vizag, after my birth in Madras, Egmore hospital in 1952. My dad was given an optioon whether he wants to be in Madras, a tamil state to work , or else whether he wants to work in Andhrapradesh. My dad opted for andhra pradesh. so they came back to andhra , and to vizag.
My mother used to tell others how i was born, I remember those incidents, very much. It seems my mother was trained Higher grade teacher and was working in an elementary school in Eluru, but as my dad got job in Madras, he made her to resign that job, and made her to go with him. Both of them were from a small village in Andhra pradesh, they do not know how to live a posh life in that great city. Mom was telling that once they went to market to buy vessels, and bought clay vessels to cook, she cited this incident to quote how innocent they were without any guidance from any one. It seems once my dad had had an accident, he fell under a lorry, there were major stitches on his upper lip, my mom was too innocent to react in any way. If u see the oldest movies before independence you will understand how women were not expressing their sorrow or joy out wardly. My mom used to tell others about the entertainment they used to have like they used to go real wrestling , boxing games. I do not know, or I cannot explain all that but I still remember that I too went and saw those type of entertainments along with my parents. Oh but i was only an year baby, then, but I do not know how I remember that. May be because my mom often describe those incidents that was pictured in my mind and imprinted there. Do not know.
It seems my mom's blouses were stitched by the tailor who used to stitch for the cine actresses in those days. My dad was very very updated man, fond of fashions and liberty of women. But my mom was very conservative and very limited tasted person.
My parents used to have a very close friend, Police Inspector James, he was a B.A graduate. and very good looking person. It seems once he went on a camp and when he came back before the scheduled date , he found that his wife was unfaithful and he caught her red handed. He without another word sent her home and married another woman from his village. It seems my parents were the elders of that marriage. later his family and our family worked in the Police department in vishakapatnam, Machilipatnam and Eluru again. The friends between these families continued all those years, He is not more now, but His wife and my mom are still friends as they both are in vizag now.
My mom used to tell others, about my birth too. It seems she was pregnant and was playing throw ball in the school where she was working, in Eluru. then she was hit very hardly in the stomoch by a ball in the play, she fell unconsious, and her friends come to know that she was pregnant then. No body knows that my mom was allready married to my dad, when my dad came to see her when she was in the hospital then everybody come to know that she was married. see theirs was child marriage u know, dad was 9 years old and mom was 5 years old, for their marriage. Later mom went for teacher training, and dad for Police officer traing to Malabar, Kerala, They used to meet secretely now and then because their parents were angry with each other, at that time. It means my mom's mom and her brother , that is dad's dad were not in good terms after the marriage, due to petty quarrels.
umm that was the story of her first pregnancy, she delivered a baby boy in Madras, when she went away with my dad, to put up a family. But that baby boy was still born, mom used to tell that the boy was just like my dad, tall, fair, with long fingers, big eyes etc. I wonder how my parents took the death of their first born, but , in deed those were the most innocent days of my parents. Later mom conceived me , in those days it seems the pregnant lady used to be joined in the hospital as soon as she got pains. So dad took mom to the Egmore Hospital , and it seems no body , even husband was not allowed to visit the wife in the delivery rooms. All the husbands used to stand outside the hospital and waiting for the bell to ring. whenever a baby was born they used to wring a bell very loudly. and all the husbands used to run to the door. and a nurse used to come out and announce the name of the husband that he got a baby. so my father waited for me for five days, out side , and running to the door whenever the bell was wrung and was anxious to hear the name of his from the mouth of the nurse. it means my mom had labour pains for five days, to deliver me.
Dad and mom were so happy to have me in their lap it seems. later they thought of giving me a name. They wrote hundred names and picked my name by lot. this name Leelavathi was picked by my parents, and it seems that was the name of an actress in those days.
All this story i heard from mom when she was telling others, like her sisters and friends etc.
Coming to the memories of vishakapatnam when i was only till i complete 5 years. we came to vizag in my second year.

seeds of faith in sweet childhood

I am just observing the people around me, and when I voiced out my opinions to any one, funny, they just think that statement of mine is , may be about them. And they look confused, I find this very funny in fact. why people are all ways think that the statement of any kind is only about them. Its like when we read the symptoms of any disease in any medical book , many times people think that they too have all those diseases. so is with psychological problems, the symptoms of any mental illness , is attributed to some people for themselves.

Well now this blog is again the continuation of my sweet childhood once again.
Well, in those days of my schooling in Guntur, I used to feel that I am the queen of the world, it was how my dad used to treat me all the time, giving the best I need.
My aunt, kantha mani used to stay with us whenever she gets a school holiday. I used to love her very much. At the same time we both used to quarrel over little things, which I really do not remember now. but those quarrels i remember very well. Funny thing is I could not stay one hour also away from her because we both like each other very much. she was 9 years older than me. We used to have a very nice tendril which was planted by my dad in our house. We used to call those tiny little white flowers as Ginni puvvulu, because they look like as little saucers with a small bud like thing in the middle of the flower. They used to give us nice scented smell. It used to climb over our terrace, so my aunty and me used to go up there and pluck those flowers some times. Once I remember that we got angry with each other. I do not know the reason but she said if I go alone to the terrace her devil will come take me out. I said if u get down from the bed where u sat now, my devil come and bite u. haha, that was the threat but I really used to be afraid to go up to the terrace or get down from my bed in the nights.
we used to make funny face showing all the teeth , and make fun of each other. in guntur.
I remember that another aunty called by the same name came to our home for some teacher training to be completed. her name was Kanthamma. She used to take me to her tuition teacher many a times. That teacher skin was reddish, and shining. I used to admire so much , and wonder she might have the same skin of my lip if i turned it out. I all ways used to see the inside of my under lip and wonder this might be the skin of that lady.
But this kantham Aththamma made a lasting impression on me about Jesus christ in my life.
I was hardly 4 years old. But she used to tell me so many stories of Jesus, which I liked them very much. She taught me that whenever i am afraid of any devil or anything I can shout louder like" yesu rakthame jayam, apavaadhi kriyalaku layam" ( In the Blood of Jesus I claim victory over the deeds of the Devil) She told me that I can have victory over the Devil, and he will run away if I shout like that.
so whenever I am afraid of darkness or anything like that I used to shout like that , and i never was afraid of anything. She taught me the morning prayer, evening prayer and prayer for the food God has given me. She made me to learn the prayers by heart.
She used to write letters to me when she went away. Her writing was like pearls. My mom and dad liked her letters very much and they used to read those letters to me again and again. In those letters she used to tell me about Jesus all ways, and about good habits etc.
I owe to her so much, because she was the one who planted the seed of love for Jesus christ. I believe since then , that there is no other God but Jesus christ .
People used to tell me and my parents that I am exactly look alike my dad. They uesd to say" Oh Leela is just like her dad, the very print of him. see the nose, its just like his, such big nose." they used to laugh also about that. The first part of comment I like very much , that is " she is exact print of her dad" but the next part about my nose, I was hurt once, for the way they were laughing. may be it was just a comment for them. but for me i was hurt. /so one day when i was really laughed at , i went from them , and went inside the room of my dad and i bolted the room and lied down on the bed of my dad. Because of kanthamma athamma, Dady bought a big portrait of Jesus Christ, and hung it in his room , you know the one usually in every christian house of the old it used to be there. That comely face of Jesus showing his heart with one hand and showing two fingers with other hand.
so when i lied down there and looking at the comely face of Jesus Christ, all the tears in my eyes dried up, which i got due to my hurt in the heart. and I was seeing the face and found the nose of Jesus was very nice, its very sharp and nice. So seeing His nose and face and those kind eyes, i just slipped into sleep. In my sleep i got a dream, which i never can forget even now. Jesus came and sat in the sofa which was in that room. and He was smiling at me. I went to Him and i asked HIm why He gave me such big nose. He was jut smiling at me, then I heard my mom banging the door and calling me " Leela Leela, loudly.
For which sound i was waken up from my beautiful dream. and found that I was alone in that bed, so i jumped out of the bed still looking at the sofa and the portrait, suspiciously whether Jesus really came there. That dream was so vivid, and I preserved it in my heart ever since.

Alzheimer... a beautiful meet

Alzheimer... a beautiful meet
Today God has given me to spend some time with an elderly woman who is having Alzheimer.

When a person is suffering from Alzheimer's disease, abnormal changes are taking place in the brain. In Alzheimer's disease, the parts of the brain that control thinking, memory, and language no longer work properly and symptoms start to appear. An accurate diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease offers the best opportunity to start treatments that can help slow the progression of symptoms.

The following chart can help you recognize some of the common signs and symptoms of moderate to severe Alzheimer's disease.
Signs and symptoms of Alzheimer's disease

Symptoms of
Alzheimer's disease Signs (examples)
Memory loss-------- Frequently forgetting new information
Problems with familiar tasks-------- Getting confused while cooking or playing a game
Problems with language--------- Forgetting simple words or using wrong words
Disorientation to time and place ------ Getting lost in a familiar neighborhood
Poor judgment------ Dressing inappropriately for the weather
Problems with abstract thought------ Trouble with simple math
Misplacing things ------ Putting an iron in the freezer
Changes in mood and behavior-------- Unusual bouts of anger or rapid mood swings
Changes in personality -------- Becoming overly confused, suspicious, afraid, or dependent
Loss of initiative ----------- Lack of interest in usual activities


Talk with a doctor or healthcare professional as soon as possible if your loved one has any of the signs or symptoms of Alzheimer's disease listed above. Please keep in mind that having these symptoms does not always mean your loved one has Alzheimer's disease. Only a doctor can make an accurate diagnosis.

i spent an hour or so with her. The first quesstion she asked me is, " why you came at this hour?" it was 8pm. I explained that I am on my way to a shop with my son's friend and I just dropped there to see her. During the hour of my stay with her this question was asked by her at least three times. knowing the symptoms of the Alzheimer I answered her as if I have heard that question first time from her.
Later I asked her how she is, she answered me " my son is taking care of me very well" This she told me three times again during my stay over there, in a gap period of ten or fifteen minutes. whenever she said so I was telling her, " Yes God blesses such sons." For that comment of mine she was giving the most beutiful smile that I ever saw. She asked me whether I know Tamil, I said to her, " No , I do not know Tamil, but I know Telugu very well." for that she told me, " I know five languages, Telugu, Tamil, Kannada, Hindi, English, and French.".. This piece of information she tried to impart me atleast six or seven times.
Later she asked me how many children I have. I said two children. One girl and one boy. for that she felt very happy and said, I have no daughters, I have only one son. Then she asked me who is elder? son? for that i told her, " no, daughter is elder, only one year difference between them. She inquired the age of my children, i told her that my daughter is thirty and my son is twenty nine. This piece of conversation about children was repeated at least five times between us.
again she asked me whether I come by car. I said yes, my son's friend brought me by car. she asked me whether i know driving. I told her i know driving but i drive only in India. She asked why I do not drive here. I told her that here the driving seats are different and the traffic rules are different. Again this conversation as it is repeated three times again and again. She asked me how far is my residence. I told her that it is not very far, but only ten or fifteen minutes drive, for that she showed me very happy countenance. When I asked her whether she play any musical instrument she said no. then I asked her whether she can sing a song for me. she said she cannot. but she started to sing the song" God is so good. god is so good to me, God is good for he saved me. God is so good for took my hand. : I too sang with her. For taht she showed much , pleasure. She sang another song which i do not know very well. Then I sang the song " God's love to me is wonderful with action, she said," oh very nice song." i asked her shall I read Bible for her. She asked me do u have a Bible.? i said here it is , and i took a Bible which is there. She asked me whether I wear specs, I said I wear but only for reading purpose. She felt happy for that and expressed it by her beautiful smile. she is a beautiful lady.
She asked me to read New Testament. I told her first I would read psalm 23 for which she has given her consent. When i was reading the psalm she repeated it with me. after I finished it she told me that she learnt it by heart.
Later I told her that I would read Psalm 91, she said yes. and after I finished it she felt happy. Later I read Isaiah 53, for which she showed her immense pleasure. Then lastly I read from the gospel of John , the words of Jesus about"I am the true vine..."Till I finished the chapter she intently looking at me and listened to me without any distraction. She thanked me for that reading of the Bible.
she asked me what I am thinking of her age. how old she is. I said may be seventy or so, because I already know that she is more than that. just then her son came and said she is seventy nine years old. and that she forgets her age often. For which neither me nor she answered him. later she asked me" do i look like that?" I said 'no' u look like u r fifty or so. later she said she is twenty eight years old. and she can climb the steps, and walk and remember things, see properly, " I added yes u can hear well, too. for that she was very happy.
She asked me in french' whether i know french? and she told me that when she went to France, they asked her whether she knew French. and they started to talk the language very fast which she could not understand at all. blah blah they talked it seems. and she smiled at me. This bit of information went on and one atleast four or five times during my stay over, there.She asked me "parli vu france' and asked me whether i know the meaning. I said no. she told me that the meaning is" Do you know French? and she told me how to pronounce France' and then she said,Ja paal parli vo france' the meaning , she explained to me, is, yes I know french.
I asked her at what time she would go to bed. she told me it is at 9pm. I said now the time is 8.45.pm for which she nodded her head. Do u see movies I asked her. she said 'no, i see some thing in the tv. When i said that she belong to Methodist church , she said yes . You must be very active in church work when u were young. she said , yes i was. I told her that i am very much pleased to meet her she expressed her joy by nodding her head .

Sweet childhood

When I was a child, every ,leaf, every petal of the flower, every drop of rain fascinated me to the uttermost of my being. I still remember those early imprints of my fascinations, my favorite things of early childhood.
As I was the very fondling child of my dady, I was mostly lovingly taken care in our home. I remember the 100 marbles he brought for me to play , as I liked them very much when I saw the street urchins playing with them in our street. I used to play with them on our new soft sofa, in the home , making the knots of the cotton sofa as my goals to spin the marbles one by one into it.
Once I asked my dady for a pen , and I wanted it immediately , so I tried to take his Parker pen from his pocket. He told me that he would bring many loads of pens in Lorry. I just believed him and sat at the gate of the house, waiting for a Lorry with loads of pens, that evening. Looking at the coming and going Lorries in our street, till I was tired of waiting.
Once I told my dady that I want to dance like the top heroin in the movie we saw, then, Anjali Devi, the song being' jeevithame safalamu, ee jeevithame safalamu, raaga sudha bharithamu,' and so I asked him to paint our floor with a big flower design because that heroin danced in between a big flower in fron of a king in a palace. so that evening he bought a big carpet for me to dance on it. I used to dance on it ,with the nail polish and lip stick he brought for me.
Once my dady and myself sat on a big bed, in the verendah, the carpenters were working on big boxes for the things to be loaded and transported from Guntur to Eluru. I already joined in St. Joseph convent and studied 1st and 2nd classes there. The sisters there were all foreigners, and we used to have a big play ground where I learned the songs 'Ring a Ring a roses, pot a full of poses." we used to play under green trees and on green pastures in the school compound. afternoons we were supposed to sleep in the class room, I never used to sleep, because the first one who woke up from sleep as soon as the bell rings used to pull the others who were still sleeping. so i used to get up first and pull others to wake up, it was great fun those days. the class teacher used to give us a cup of milk, and later we were given so many blocks to play out side the class room. Morning we used to learn English language. One night i got 5 white watery patches on my arm, but dady wanted me to go to school, one constable used to come to take me to school on the motorbike, when i went to school the sister nun came and told me that she would take me to the school clinic, later that day the doctor in the clinic inserted a needle into each patch of white water bags on my arm and sucked the water from there. I do not know how I got them and what was all that about. we used to have socks and shoes. the thin thread that dangles from the socks were a great fascinating thing for we children. we used to pull them now and then to see how long they could be stretched out. The constable had a son, and so he was also er how studying in the nearby school, so the constable used to come to pick me up and later his son too was on the bike. I was sitting in front , and he used to sit at the back. One day he told me that he can sit at the back without holding his father ,and tried to show me how he can sit like that, after a few minutes we found him fall on the road, and his arm was fractured. Later the constable did not come to pick me up. There was one other constable who used to come, some times he holds me in his arms from the school , sometimes he used to ask me to walk. when I told him my legs are paining, he told me that I can jump on one foot and then other foot and walk or run thus I would not get any pain. so I still remember how I used to run with one leg up and one leg down jumping and running which I even practiced whenever I found its difficult to walk too long . I remember how I used to run from Lady yampthil school , in Machilipatnam, to home in my 7th and 8th classes.
Navy blue skirt, white blouse, white socks and black shoes was our uniform, in St.Joseph convent. so when the carpenters were working with nails and hammers, my dad told me not to get down from the cot where we sat, telling me that i may be hurt if I get down. My dad went for a few minutes to talk to a friend on the road, when he called him. then i thought it would be very funny if I could walk in between the nails of the wood, as the workers also went out side to relax for a few minutes, I thought it was the best time for me to walk , on the wood between the nails protruding upwards. so slowly i got down of the cot and started to walk , doing balance walk. suddenly i stepped on a sharp nail, and it went straight into my small and tender foot, and I could not lift it up , and started to wail aloud, then my dad heard it and shouted at once and came running towards me. I was so scared and pulled my leg at once and with one leg limping ran into the house crying aloud, and jumped on heaps of clothes which were there while my mom and aunty were folding them. crying my leg my leg... my dad was after me, and he scolded me severely and brought a bottle of tincture and pulled my leg and poured the medicine with cotton on my bleeding foot. You can imagine how loudly I cried, it was burning and I cried lot of time,
another time my dad called cotton wallah Dhu dhekula vaadu to our home to yeku yekadam repair all the old cotton in the mattresses. I was closely observing him from the beginning. while he was hitting the cotton with his loom the cotton was flying into the air, and becomes fluffy and white. I was so fascinated by it and I want to touch it and lie down on it, and play in it. Because I was seeing Naaradha a mythological figur in the movies how he used to walk in the clouds, I felt I should walk like that, if not in the clouds at least here in this heap of cotton which so fluffy and white. At the time of lunch break the cotton man begged me not to touch the cotton as he is going to take lunch. I said yes, but as soon as he went away I jumped on the cotton and lied down feeling that I was the queen of the world, and I was walking , jumping and sleeping in the clouds. when the cotton man came back he was shocked to see me in the cotton and wailed loudly , saying 'oh all cotton is spoiled oh all cotton is spoiled now i gotta work again."
I ran from there as I was afraid of his wailing.
I used to sit on our iron entrance door, and used to swing hither and thither. One day as I was doing thus, my left hand little finger was irrukku poindhi stuck in between and the nail was broken out, and there was lots of blood, my dad again put the cotton ball of tincture on it, which burns like fire, and I cried loud and loud till I lost all my strength.
My dad used to have a motor bike with a seater beside it. I used to sit in it some times. usually my mother with my sister used to sit in it while i sit in front of my dady.we used to to movies like that.
We used to have a neighbors a doctor and his wife. I used to go and play in their home when the doctor was not there. I think they were newly married and do not have any children. I used to play with her hand, as it was very plumpy and fair, she and me used to lie down some times in the afternoon and she used to tell me some stories. But when the doctor comes i used to run home because he used to kiss me terribly, which I could not bear, all over my face on my stomoch on my arms every where. he used to suffocate me with kisses, so I ran and ran out of theier house, while she used to laugh at me while i am running.
2 B cont)

Storms... a purpose to full fill

We tend to look at the disasters in our life very negatively, unless, you are really part of the show. You will see the hand of God, in mysterious way, and wonder how gracefully He designed every detail of it, and how He wonderfully shows His majestic signature on our lives.

This incident happened long back, but it is as fresh as the sweet white Lilly on a green pasture, with dew drops on it,early in the cool morning, in my mind's eye.

I was 25 years old, and working as a Lecturer in a reputed college in India. That was my third year of my service, and I was staying in the college hostel.
The summer holidays started from April 30th, 1979. A circular was brought by an attender to the staff members asking us to write our name in the chosen slot of the working dates during the holidays for the examinations invigilation. There were three slots, 1. from May 1st to May 10th; 2. from May 11th to 21st and 3. from May 22nd to 31st.

            That year as My dear father was also come to know of Jesus , I was thrilled to take him to the much awaited summer Retreat in Chennai, India. The dates of the Retreat were given as 13th May, to 23rd of May, I signed my name in the first slot of duties. That is 1st May to 10th May.

                 We were staying in the New hostel building, but as the exams would be conducted in the Old campus we were asked to vacate the New campus and take a room in Old campus. So when I went there I informed the Warden sister, that I would leave the hostel on 10th evening. In those days there were not much reservation of the railway tickets. There used to be lot of space to travel, my father and all others coming from my home town, Vizag did not get any reservation of berths in the Mail Express that goes to Chennai. So my plan was when I saw them in the Railway station, I could just join them then there.

        But on 7th of May, the principal, Sr. Josephine asked me to meet her soon after my invigilation duty was over. she was a dictator, though she is very kind and generous towards some of the staff, she likes. I used to pray much for her kind treatment whenever I need to meet her in her chamber.

             So when I was asked to come in side, I saw another Tamil lecturer in zoology, who was the favorite of sister principal. In front of her, principal told me "leela, Roopa got some urgent work, so you have to do the invigilation in her place from 13th May to 23rd May.
         I meekly replied, "But sister , I am planning to go to Chennai for the summer retreat."
 " Hey I told you, to do this work , and you do" she just blurted out.
          I did not know what to say, for she dismissed me, and went outside of the room. I could not say anything.
           So I went out and gave a telegram to my dad, like this," Dad, principal is not sending me to the retreat, so please give her a telegram that my presence is essential and ask her to send me immediately"

        I would not speak a lie , and I cannot give any lame excuses of sickness of any one in the telegram to her.
           So as I expected the next day he sent the telegram, but only after that day, while I was getting ready for the invigilation ofJunior Intermediate examinations, the attender, Thota Venkateswar rao came with a paper of pink color. As soon as I saw it I recognized that it was a telegram, he said," Miss, principal asked me to give it to you."

             It was opened already, so I took it and read the message, " My daughters presence is essential, so please send her" , it was given by my dad to her.

          I asked him" what did the sister say about this?' He replied, "nothing, miss"
            Uhmm, it means I have to meet her once again with that telegram. The time is already 7 ;30, the exam starts at 8am , I have to be there half an hour before the commencement of the exam. so I knelt down and prayed for a few minutes and left for the examination hall.

             After the exam I went to meet principal in her chamber. She saw me but did not asked me to come inside. Even the attender was not given any instructions. I sent word to her that I came to visit her. but no response. I was waiting , it was 12 O' clock in the noon, two hours passed but still , there is no response. at last at 2 ;30 she came out, and she was walking out , completely ignoring me,
        I was after her, and said, 'Sister My father sent a telegram to u,"

       "What is in it?' she queried.as if she does not know. I answered that " My presence was essential,and asked you to give me permission"
          She said, " Give him another telegram that you cannot come" she said coolly, and left the premises.
           I was shocked, I stood still, the telegram paper was in my fist, the tears were gushing out uncontrollably, ( All this was witnessed by an young sweet sister student, Sr Ursula, She became our Sr superior now in our college, the other day she was telling me that she knew all that happened that day, and she was the silent witness for my tears, at the corner of the building) I just tore down the paper, and left hurriedly to my room, and knelt down with anguish and poured out my heart tearfully.


           This is one of those times, where I downpour my heart in His presence, without words, just my tears, my inner questions, my anguish, untold, unspoken. All knowing Lord first comforts me with ever lasting love, then, I asked Him all that is in my heart. I told Him, "that I am really angry with that sister principal, she is so unjustful, and partial, and that I was just angry with her."
There was just a great calm in my heart, after I thus poured out my heart to the lover of my soul, who knows my thoughts before I get them.

           In that calmness, as if I am in trance I picked up the little book, "OUR DAILY BREAD" and turned to that day daily portion,
          I have no tears, no questions any more, just I WAS STILL , when I saw the title of that daily portion, I was just awe stricken. I will scan that paper and post it here as it is. Presently, I am going to write how I felt the wonderful presence of God.

PRAYER CHANGES THE PRAY_ER" is the title.

that day daily portion was the book HABAKKUK , whileI was reading the first chapter, I saw the prophet was wailing just like me, saying "why this injustice? why people behave in such unjust fully way" but by the end of the 3rd chapter it was written by the same prophet that he is happy even though there is nothing for him. "though the fig tree does not blossom... yet will I rejoice in the Lord."Iin that daily portion it was written, that "do you have any anger towards any one who are treating you unjustfully?" that was the direct question to my heart, I felt the presence of God there. So I closed my eyes and wiped the tears on my cheeks, and kept my right hand on my heart and replied to God, "yes Lord I am angry with principal" then the the voice of the Lord was telling me "just take away that anger and see what I will do for you" Immediatly I obeyed God, and said to HIm, " yes Lord I forgive her with all my heart" and just opened the Bible, and I saw there the verse, "The Lord is mighty God and He perform greater miracles" in the psalms.
then I told the Lord, Lord if you are going to do such great things in my life, I just yeield to you. and I spent some time in His wonderful presence, and when I got up, there was no sadness, no fear, no anxiety, no anger, my heart was free, and unknown joy filled my heart. I cannot describe it here, i felt great presence of God in my heart, so i was so calm and quiet in my soul.
There was a song in my heart,
Though the fig tree does not blossom....but i changed it into like this "Though the principal does not send me ... Yet will rejoice in the lord."
That night great storm came and the next day when i went to the college, there it was written on the black board that the "intermediate exams are indefinitely postponed" So i need not do any invigilation, and I need not ask the permission of principal to go to retreat.
the rest of the story was just a test to my faith, there were no trains to go to chennai, but i waited for long hours in the railway station, till a train comes, and though the tickets were not issued, we managed to get a ticket for me , and thought the travel was extended for two days, instead of one night, that was the most wonderful journey for me for I traveled with my father, first time to the retreat and with many miracles of that sort.

Hurricanes, Storms.... a purpose to full fill

Psalm 69:1-2
Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold.I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me.

Incident 1.
I am now in Chantilly, VA USA with Happy and James and children. They have predicted a great Hurricane today, and its going on now.
All of us are in the basement watching the TV. the news channel.
I am in my room, and I am forced to remember the year 1989, when I went to Refresher's course at Bangalore University for a three week programme. Children and my husband were at home, in Eluru. India. We were staying in a rented house in the middle portion, which has a big hall for the children to play. The portion next to us was empty and I managed to get one christian family for rent on behalf of the owner of the house. Hoping that there would not be any objections for the prayers to be conducted in our house and in the hall on Saturdays.
but strangely the lady of that portion developed jealousy towards us and became very non cooperative in every aspect of our stay over there. she started to be friendly with the owners of the house and forced them to tell us to vacate the portion we were staying so far. It was much humiliation for us, but both of us took the challenge very humbly, not even in the heart we hated her. We simply took the issue to the Lord in prayer. When this news was known in the church we go, one staff nurse told us that they have constructed a new house and that they are vacating a rented house, which was a bit near to the house we stay then, and that they would vacate it at the end of the month. so with this information I went to the Refreshers course.
But from the day one there was great storm all over the south India, esp Andra and Karnataka, There is no communication between me and m family. By the time I come home I heard a great story of God's rescue of our family.
when i was away from the home, the owners and the staff nurse brought great force on my husband that we should vacate the house immediately. As he was a godly man he said he would. just then the sister from the church told him that they have preponed their housewarming programme to their new house to 15 days prior to the actual date. so we can shift into their rented house on 16th of that month.
My husband' sbrother came to help him in shifting the rain was down pouring, and in that situation my husband with the two little children vacated the house and landed into much smaller house in a little distance of the old one.
Within two or three hours, there was flood in that area, the canals around the city were flooded and the houses were immersed, the water was all over the rooads and streets. the old house which we vacated was filled with water to the half of its walls, the family which conspired to send us away had no place to stay so they went up to the terrace and lived there for three days.
the water came even into the compound of the new house but the other two portions were having water to the knee deep, and the water did not come to the second step of the house where we shifted that morning.
the water just stopped there.
The heathen in his office, the neighbors, every one saw the hand of Sovereign God, they said, "Only your God helped you to be in safe land, in time. There was a lot of soot in the houses where there was flood water, but for us there was nothing like that. Is not the name of God glorified? I see the loving God allways at our rescue if only keep low profile and lean upon Him for the justice.
the other incident where He proved that these storms come for special purpose would be a great thrilling story that you would never heard before. I thank God for He showed His mercy in making things possible in a beautiful way.

Psychosomatic diseases...?

My stay over here with my grand children is wonderfully colorful, thrilling, and reflecting my dependence on God. It teaches me so many lessons everyday. How I wish I could have a language which can describe every step of my life over here with them.
I see angels hovering over me while I take care of these two cute little ones. I know God often comforts me by sending His angelic children many times in the past. They were there to lift the burden in my heart. Now Jessica( God sees) and Jayden( God hears) gives me immense joy, and I forget all that stress I am facing in my life
In my childhood I faced much agony in my parents home. There were quarrels, over the money matters, and many other things. Jesus was not in our home, those days. Most of my childhood and youthful days I suffered nervous weakness, and lack of stamina in my constitution. After the marriage, though there were some rifts in my family I could manage them by prayer, and forgiveness. There were never any arguments, or shouting in our home, as far as I remember. There were many disagreements because of cultural differences, but we all ways remembered that " A family that prays together stays together>" and I was the first one all ways to seek peace in home by having a family prayer at the end of the day, whatever be the misgivings, or shortcomings in our family.
Family prayer was the pulpit for us to rectify things in amicable way, understand each other in the light of the Word of God.
So after the demise of my dear Husband, whom I loved unconditionally all the time during our 22 short married years, I am obliged to lead a very peaceful life without any arguments, or rift shifts affecting my soul.
The job I enjoyed thoroughly as I used to teach the wonderful subject Social Work which is a humanitarian subject, about the human behaviour and Problems of the human beings ,physical, psychological, economical, and social. As my students were young girls , I enjoyed rather a very young age in my career. I laughed with them, I joked with them, I taught them the Higher values of life. I saw the stars in their eyes while I taught them, I sang with them, I danced with them, I even acted with them in college dramas. so life never gave me rough side to face.
The only loss was the death of my husband, and my continuous lonely nights. Even they were full of silence and peaceful. I spent 10 years like that. But now if I hear any argument, between the near ones, I just could not tolerate psychologically and as a result even I've been affected psychically . Psychosomatic disease has become the way of my life, now. I am getting bouts of head ach and sever body aches,and a rise in the body temperature and Blood pressure. This I see now, a recurring of my life in my parents home. where there were all ways shouts of one nature or the other, where the male dominance was the order of the day. Where the authority, disorder, wordiness, and military discipline ruled over my life. I was a rebel in heart, but lived a very submissive life. There fore I suffered very much in my body, I suffered with bronchitis, doctors thought I would die soon with TB. I was taking a course of medicine till Jesus came into my life, and He touched me.I suffered sever abdominal pains every month, I was twisting and crying aloud at those days, for which I took lot of medicines all my years of youth. I used to get horrible cramps in the legs, and I could not walk when I was attacked thus. I used to have nightmares and used to get up from the sleep, shouting " there is victory in the blood of Jesus"


I found the more calm and quiet I am and enjoy the company of friends, with good rest and good food, my life goes perfectly well,Now, Even if there is any small ups and downs I find it very difficult to adjust. I prefer the places and people with whom I feel comfortable with, and live in. After all, there may be a very few more years for me, should I spend my days, still adjusting to different people of different temperaments? Is it necessary at all? Can't I live the rest of life where I am more needed, who would never take me granted, but need me to the utmost like the Poor and needy, and diseased, and dying? I do not know what is kept for me to my end days, but I have decided that I need to spend the rest of life with the downtrodden and least respected in the society. I come to know that I would never find any rest to my soul, and peace to my heart if not in the presence of these people.
Oh Lord help me!!

Signatures of God

                 Signs of God, should we ask for them? Jesus said, that we should not; He said that we will get only one sign, that is, about the Son of God being laid down in the cavity of the earth for three days and three nights,that is the only sign to look for  for this generation.

        But He also said 'be aware of the marks/signs of the end days,' and He has quoted many things that would come before the dooms day/ judgement day.
           I get signatures of God in my life about the presence of God. This I found out very strangely, unexpectedly and as a source of great comfort, joy, and Peace to me. In  fact I must say it was so spectacular, and so awesome.

   Incident .1.     Once I was asked to give a message in a cottage meeting,in Rajahmandry, where there were many families gathered togather.
       I give message of God often, but that day I felt that I am at loss.. It was so unexpected, when the pastor asked me to give a message to the group all in a sudden. They were altogether unfamiliar group, which I never met before a group of families. I spoke about the love of God, for a few minutes, may be thirty or forty minutes.   There was pin drop silence, and when I stopped there was no sound any where.I do not know how far I had reached them, or the message was apt for them. so I came humbly to my seat which was beside a big bed and had hidden my face in my hands to pray.
        There were two children on the bed,sitting as there was no place for them on the floor.Then  one of them suddenly jumped into my lap and whispered into my ears that she and her sister like me very much.
       I was shocked, I do not know what to say. my heart was light, all the heavy curtain overlaps me suddenly lifted up. I felt the presence of God immediately. I never knew these children, I never talked to them I did not know who were their parents, but the message from God through them made me very happy
.
 Incident 2.        Next time when I was traveling from Hyderabad after I left my son at the airport, I was heavy in my heart, I was tired physically and mentally, as my daughter already left me after her marriage to USA, and now my son left me for further studies to Australia.
                      People used to say, 'why you are sending your children to distant countries> why do not you make them to stay with you. why to live alone?'  

      Am I a selfish woman to be like that/ ? If their father is alive would I ever think like that. Should the death of their father be a hindrance to their bright future? and ambitions? I may live for some more years, for my sake should I ask them to forego their plans for life? after my death won't they feel that only because of me their future plans were spoiled? nah no never would I be a stumbling block to their life's ambitions. I will encourage them till I die. Though it may be a lonely life for me, though I need to depend on others for many a tasks at home. Though I may need to end my life in an Old age Home, I will never never make them to think, that because 'our father is not alive we need to sacrifice our bright life plans for the sake of our mother'.

         So with these and many other thoughts I sat tiredly in my seat in the bus. the next seat was empty. I reclined my seat back and leaned back. suddenly after a few minutes one sweet little face emerged between the gap of the seats, from the back of me and smiled at me touching my face with her soft little palm.
     . I was literally shocked and lifted my head to see the face of the girl clearly. she went back to her mothers lap, and again came back and did the same thing as before. Now she was giggling and laughing as if she knew me very well. Even her mother was surprised by her act. she just smiled at me.

      Do you know how immediately my burden was rolled away, with that smile of the little girl and by her touch on my face? No body knows what peace I got in my heart, how soothing was that touch to me, how relaxed I was immediately and I slept peacefully till I reach my destination.

 Incident 3.      The other time I and my friend went to a church where she was invited to give a message. We were sitting at the back of the pew and she was invited to the dais to sit. So I was left alone, and I do not know any one in that church so I just reading my bible, till the time for the message comes. The elder of the church came and asked me whether I would give a message after my friend's was over.

          I looked up and saw my friend was nodding her head inviting me to her side. So I accepted the invitation and went and sat with her. I was not prepared for this. I just accompanied her to the Church. so I bowed down my head and closed my eyes to pray for a message from God. As He was revealing His message step by step,and I was grasping it in my mind, and after a while I opened my eyes , actually I was leaning forward and praying.

      One sweet little boy with chubby cheeks was standing in front of me, and was smiling at me. I was shocked , he was so close to my knees and my face, and as I was erecting my back, he slowly went to his mothers lap and sat there staring at me.

         This incident calmed me and made me spirit filled. The message was straight from God. I knew that Jesus was with me and His presence was with me.  There are umpteen signs of children like this to me. I will narrate one more, spectacular incident in my life.

           I went USA to my daughter's house to stay for a while, they had given me the room of my grandson who was 2 1/2 years old,  some how this boy who was attached to me so much one year back  was not coming to me, not even near to me. He was just avoiding me and not talking to me. He was saying a few words now and then, but only peeping at the door of the room where I was staying and going away.  
One day  James my son-in-law brought a crater of sodas,  We were talking how nice are the sodas to drink etc.  Jayden said he likes sodas very much.
   
Later  one day I asked him while climbing the steps, while he was playing with his Thomos Rail Engine, which was his favourite game. "Jayden why you are not playing with me or coming into my room?"  He said,' its not your room, its my room'    What? I said, 'Its my room" he yelled.  I was shocked and asked his mom , what he is saying?  She laughed and said, mom since his birth he was sleeping in that room, and he says it is his room, now you are there  and he does not like it seems." she laughed.    "Oh I exclaimed, " after all 2 1/2 years+soda ( its a Telugu term like  you little fellow= soda)" you are saying its your room?"  Immediately he answered me "I am not soda(soda= gas liquid for him)  I am Jayden" stoutly he answered me with a long face. I laughed and left the place. I did not know how to deal with this little fellow. I just postponed that program me to another time.He kept this grudge in his little heart for two weeks now.
    Next morning all of us were going to the church, and James asked me to pray  before leaving .  I was praying, then suddenly I found a great jerk at my knees, just before I finished my prayer. I found Jayden hugged my knees as if some force pulled him there, and  he himself took a step back from me within seconds, there was a great shock in his face, so was I.  I could not imagine actually what happened.  H e went back to his dad knees and staring at me as if how is the way he does not know why he hugged me.  Poor guy, I know this the way God reconciled both of us, and thereby we became  like magnet and iron piece.      You know why I like to go to USA just to see my little two magnets.  Jessica and Jayden.    
After that many things happened of this sort,  whenever it happened they are spectacular, unexpected and the sweetest.

         Incident 4.   well there is yet another signature of God in my life just a few days back , I went along with pastor Jeevan and Malcom and his wife to Gajuwaaka, to help the Hudh Hudh affected people.  we had very hectic and fruitful day , started our journey at 4 am and continued to work till late in the evening. Every body was taking dinner at the end, I retired to a small room adjacent to give rest to my aching knees and back.  I was alone there, and suddenly a young mother came with an infant in her arms. She smiled at me..  I smiled at her still lieing down on the little coach there.   she was about to go to other room adjacent to the place i was in, and turned around suddenly and asked me " wont you hold my little baby in your lap?" I was happily surprised and said, oh why not give me your baby, and I took her into my lap"   the baby was smiling in her sleep, I found a black spot on her cheek,  the mother is very simple looking girl without any ornaments on her, neat and tidy, but this spot worried me a little, so boldly I asked her, Why u put this spot on the cheek of the baby?  As I expected she told me that its a mark to evade the evil eye.  I told her " Do you know what the word of God tells us?" I opened the Holy Bible and showed the verses from Isaiah 8:11-14 " This is what the Lord says to me, with His strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people.  Do not call conspiracy, everything these people call conspiracy (evil eye) do not fear what they fear; and do not dread it.  The Almighty is the One you are to regard as Holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread"   so I asked her to wipe the black spot the symbol of the evil on the angelic face of the baby.  She said she would do it from the day after. 'No , I said, you should get rid of it right now." so She wiped the spot with her fingers.   and smiled at me. I shared the word of God to her , and told her the meaning of the verses she read.   I saw great relief in her face and with smiles she left the place.   Do not you think this is very odd, a mother asking some body , 'wont you take my baby in your arms?'  not asking for help but she needed to see her baby in the arms of me,. which is a strange phenomenon on the part of any mother.    Praise God this is yet another incident.

              Incident 5.        I was getting ready to go to Luthern church , it was 8 am, the church would start at 8:30 am, I was in two minds, should I go to this church or should I go to Abraham's church as the other day two lady tailors of his church asked me to come and give the word of God?   I was getting ready to go, then there was a knock on my Iron gate, so,  I went to open it wondering who would be the person to disturb me at this hour on this day.

                There stood Abraham with a packet which I asked him to bring yesterday.  I never expected him today  that too at his early hour of Sunday.  In fact I forgot that I asked him to bring that packet too.  When he was about to go away after handing over the packet , I asked him shall I come to his church as Usha and Suzan and you asked me to come , the other day?  He was so happy and said, yes aunty  please do so.

                    That settled my dual thought of going to Luthern church or this church.  I got ready and went , it was raining cats and dogs, all in a sudden... no one was there except one woman,  in the hall, Abraham children 9 years girl and 10 years boy and 2 years little girl were there.  I sat in a chair and meditating His word...

                  Abraham's little daughter do not know me, she never saw me, so it was natural for her to avoid me and ran away from me, a stranger.   Therefore as usual I did not bother, nor I remember that there was a little girl there.

                   As I was looking into the book and reading,  suddenly I found this girl came near me with two musical instruments, (kanjiries, like tadpole like things)  and smiled at me and gave me one to me. She cannot speak because she is such a small girl,  but she made signs and actions was telling me something.. showing the alter. I did not understand so I asked her brother what is she saying?  he told me she is asking you to go to the pulpit and pray.  i was astonished to see her gestures, still continuing.. and asking me to go there.  This thrilled my heart, This filled me with His presence.  Oh God how wonderful thou art!1

Children are the signs of God for me. Their angels all ways look in to the face of their Father, thus saith the Lord.