People with no desire to be individuals, with seperate entity, but satisfied by just following the masses just like a sheep in the herd, would never understand this term identity crisis. Because they never has had that joy of being "special" or being an individual"... they are just one among many many people, only one among in class, and only just one person like many other faces we see in the mobs. Because they never learned to earn, or make name or fame in the place they live, nor have a skill to exhibit, or a life with sepcial talents to be praised for.To such people loosing Identity is not a problem , because it was not there at all. They are the most selfish people who live only for themselves, eat for themselves, and enjoy the life they have but never bother about others nor even try to know how others are living ,fearing that they may need to extend their hand to help them cause they are afraid to sparer a little time or energy or money for others. ' all the time. They just live, eat, and spend their time as they like. In a way, they have their own life style where they would never bother of any body else except they themselves.. They are accustomed to live in their own cocoon life without any pattern of life which is dictated to them by the higher authorities. In a way theirs is a' fools paradise'.
But people like us, who started to work right from the very tender youthful days, that is from 22 years of age itself, we have earned a status in the society, a recognition by the people around, a work to do for the benefit of others, especially the youngsters, whose life being molded by us, rather a sacred duty in our jobs, and also which fetches an earning which made us not to be dependent on any body, even on husbands as the other housewives do.; gives us a great satisfaction of life successful. The employment keeps us away from the unnecessary links in the society. We choose what associations we want to be members in our leisure time. Thereby we enjoy a sort of respect in the society and have an IDENTITY of our own.
There comes the question of Identity , and when we come to the end of that job, we feel we lost some identity there by facing some crisis. oh this is definitely a passing phase in our lives. Because we lived a beautiful life wherein we have been useful not only to ourselves , our families but for the public too.
our families our parents were proud of us, for the work we rendered, and the way we lived independently. that gives us a great lot motivation to live and get back that identity once again, even though it may not be the same identity but of a different sort, and by all means an identity which we will be again to be happy to have, and the society and friends be proud of.
This dark phase of Identity crisis would be only a steps of life. Because living lazily is not in our dictionary, we will work and work till we are happy with ourselves, but not like that people who never bother to have an useful life for others.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Growing Old Gracefully
Wow, that's the word enchanting me now a days.Till the last year I never could take this word, OLD into my life. Whether I accept it or not, I am gonna be considered as " senior citizen " in a short while.
Oh was that me who was much pampered and called as daddy's pet all the time of my childhood years?
Oh was that me who was jubilant, dashing, tomboyish and stylish all the time of my youth and then after wards?
Oh was that me who was economically independent, serene and dignified, all the time of my career, till I get married?
Oh was that me who was submissive, loving, responsible , all the time of my wife-hood?
Oh was that me who was lonely, dependent and sorrowful for the way world treated me; in the first few years of the time, when I lost my dear husband ?
Oh was that me who realized that the life is what we opt for, and started to live an undaunted life, swimming against the tides of life, just for the sake of my childrens' safety and future, facing the taunts of the society for my courage and decision making in the will of God?
Oh is it really me who is here sitting with my grand children, playing the games they like, and not very useful in any other area of life here in USA?
Oh yes, i see back and laugh cheerfully, thinking and brooding, wondering what life has kept for me in the coming deteriorate years , that are inevitable....
when prayed the Lord in my last blog to show me what is His will, the answer I got from Him is instant, and wonderful ,straight to my heart.
Its like this in 1 Chronicles 17th chapter.
And my prayer now is" Who am I , O Lord God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?
And as if this were not enough in your sight, O God, you have spoken about the future of the house of your servant. You have looked on me as thought I were the most exalted of men, O Lord God.
What more can me say to you for honoring your servant? for you know your servant, O Lord. for the sake of your servant and according to your will, you have done this great thing and made known all these great promises.
There is no one like you, O Lord, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears. And who is like your people.. the one nation on earth whose God went out to redeem a people for himself, and make a name for yourself, and to perform great and awesome wonders by driving and nations from before your people, whom you redeemed Lord, ? .......And now, Lord, let eh promise you have made concerning your servant and his house be established forever. Do as you promised, so that it will be established and that your name will be great forever. Then men will say, "the Lord Almighty, the God over Israel, is /........your servant found courage to pray to you. O Lord you are God...i
And now O Lord You have blessed it, and it will be blessed forever."
Oh was that me who was much pampered and called as daddy's pet all the time of my childhood years?
Oh was that me who was jubilant, dashing, tomboyish and stylish all the time of my youth and then after wards?
Oh was that me who was economically independent, serene and dignified, all the time of my career, till I get married?
Oh was that me who was submissive, loving, responsible , all the time of my wife-hood?
Oh was that me who was lonely, dependent and sorrowful for the way world treated me; in the first few years of the time, when I lost my dear husband ?
Oh was that me who realized that the life is what we opt for, and started to live an undaunted life, swimming against the tides of life, just for the sake of my childrens' safety and future, facing the taunts of the society for my courage and decision making in the will of God?
Oh is it really me who is here sitting with my grand children, playing the games they like, and not very useful in any other area of life here in USA?
Oh yes, i see back and laugh cheerfully, thinking and brooding, wondering what life has kept for me in the coming deteriorate years , that are inevitable....
when prayed the Lord in my last blog to show me what is His will, the answer I got from Him is instant, and wonderful ,straight to my heart.
Its like this in 1 Chronicles 17th chapter.
And my prayer now is" Who am I , O Lord God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?
And as if this were not enough in your sight, O God, you have spoken about the future of the house of your servant. You have looked on me as thought I were the most exalted of men, O Lord God.
What more can me say to you for honoring your servant? for you know your servant, O Lord. for the sake of your servant and according to your will, you have done this great thing and made known all these great promises.
There is no one like you, O Lord, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears. And who is like your people.. the one nation on earth whose God went out to redeem a people for himself, and make a name for yourself, and to perform great and awesome wonders by driving and nations from before your people, whom you redeemed Lord, ? .......And now, Lord, let eh promise you have made concerning your servant and his house be established forever. Do as you promised, so that it will be established and that your name will be great forever. Then men will say, "the Lord Almighty, the God over Israel, is /........your servant found courage to pray to you. O Lord you are God...i
And now O Lord You have blessed it, and it will be blessed forever."
Friday, July 22, 2011
Life after retirement
I have a work to do all the time, either for my self or for others all these years of my life. Since I had been a child of 5 years, school, and college was a regular feature till I was 58 years old. Till I was 22 years old I was a student, and later i was teacher in the college. But now after I am retired I lost all that glamor, thrill, or zeal to go out everyday.
May be God has other plans for me, first , I think He wanted me to learn how it would be sitting at home doing nothing .. by sending chickengunea, I was bed ridden for a month or so, later I tried to be normal by repairing the house, making preparations for John and Annie's wedding.This I did by sheer will power, physically I was completely ruined, every bone of my body was like a saw cutting my muscles.
But I did things for them and Happy family , for their comfort, with one and only notions and principle that driving me since the death of my husband. That is ' As their dad is no more i should never allow them feel, his absence, and never they should think, that, 'oh if only dad is alive things would never like this" I tried my level best for them for all these 10 years, doing everything for them as their dad would do or mom should do. never i allowed them to entertain the thought that they were fatherless children. nor I never showed myself to them that I as a helpless, dependent, weak widow and mother.
Later that was Christmas month, my children left me in the first week of the December, whatever be the reasons, they left me alone once again, in this wonderful season of the year.
I recollect those beautiful days how we used to celebrate the birth of Christ in our home when their father was alive. It was the most wonderful season for me and for my family. we used to sing the hymns, and decorate Christmas tree and star on the terrace and bulbs on the walls, colors and balloons everywhere, with different types of cakes and cookies to share with others.
But this Christmas I experienced more loneliness because the children were there in the first week of the season, and they left me all alone, in my home in the most cherished season of the eyar, ; they wanted to celbrate the Christams intheir homes, not with me,may be? nah, there were many other reasons to leave me here and go away, but ... but whatever be the reasons, they left me alone in my home.
What sort of celebrations can I opt for? Life seemed to be so tasteless , without any one around. and then doing something for celebrating lonely ,Every year I used to buy a set of new year calenders to give away as gifts to my colleagues and management in college. This year I was sick to go out, and I spent lonely because I could not drive or do shopping out side. Even the few friends who visit me regularly also could not come because they too were busy in celebrating the Birth of Christ with their families.
so this Christmas of 2010 was the most lonely Christmas i ever had., as i could not plan any thing for others as I was very very sick that month. and the next month too. I was at home doing nothing for three months, that is December and January, February.
Strange How God gave me strength, to face a different life at home. Every day was a problem for me. some horrible boils on feet, and legs,and arms, sprains in the back, swelling all over the body, ; all this made me to sit at home and just drag on life some how. But nobody knows about my pain and suffering except one dear friend of mine who used to come home everyday, and inquire about my health, and give some company to talk, to discuss, and laugh, as my mind is as active as ever, and I am still living in soul, as I had been all those past years of my life, the company of this friend made me to live my life.
In the month of March as it so happened I need to take up the venture of repairing the house in Vizag, which took me another three months, i.e., March ,April, May. I worked hard, without any help from any where, on the other hand, the pain in the body, the taunting from my own kith and kin, the obstacles they created were so horrible, that I never imagined in life. Not only physical ailment but mental strain and stress made me suffer a lot. But the fellowship of the Lutheran church in H B colony really helped me a lot to get strength from above.
later I found that new ailments developed and I need to see the Dental doctor immediately, I was completely in the home within the 4 walls of my room due to pain and suffering.
Hardly P recovered from that, still suffering , I landed in USA , to happy and James house. The only people who crave for my presence, and love me truly and care for me on this earth.If not they who are there to ask me to come to their home and stay with them? they provided a room for me with all the facilities , which i would never get any where in life , in any body's home either.
I Thank god and to them, for the love and care they show to me.
Though here my life is so cozy, I have no friend except the lap top in my lap here. hahah, As youngsters they are busy building their home, relations, and friendships.
I am here just doing sundry things for them. As I am suffering from Arthritis, and menopause ailments of the women, I am like another child for them as I have only the hands of 4 year old, and legs of 1 year old, feeble and weak.
Though my body is weak, my mind is sharp and active still. I desire for beautiful things,in life, friendships, laughter, and happiness with the people I could go pace with. Right at home.. There are very few people in my circle, who would not make any remark on my disposition, and who could exercise lots of patience with my forgetfulness,or feeble ways of doing things.
Right at home I have my own way of doing things, slowly and steadily,
Right at home I can make my own shopping and enjoy of spending money for me and for others which I never could fore go as long as i am able to go out.
Right at home I can drive my own car and go to different places , like friends, clubs, or social service organizations where I am needed. including my friends children weddings or get- to- gathers, where I will not be criticized but appreciated for my knowledge and timely advice they needed.
so whenever I go out I have life to live, friends to meet, to laugh without any prying eye what I do there. hahaha....
How I wish that my children could be within the reach right in India where I live. umm.. If life could give what all that we wanted and wished to have, then that is not the life at all, Anyway God has purpose in my life, and He still preparing me to meet that purpose. It is slowly and mildly being opened for me in due time.
Because even right at home, I am still and still a lonely widow, without any work to do and any one around in the home to smile at , or enquire a task, lonely lonely lonely all the time. from dawn to night. All other friends and get to gatherswill be there but , i need to be able to make time for them , needs lots of energy , enthusiasm and health to cooperate.
Oh is this retirement and old age, devour me and make me useless wherever i am??
what is my life for? why I am living?
where would I be happy and contented?
Why these questions never roused me to be as sick as I am now in the past?
This is a strange phase of my life, now next month, I am going to complete 59 years of my life, and entering into 60th year, will I be able to complete it?
How would be my life next year?
Can I keep my movements as usual?
Can I live my lonely life right at home without any problems?
Why God left me so lonely at this age?
I am not blaming God.. I am asking Him what is His purpose in this useless life of mine. one more year... how it would be? Never I questioned myself this way. But this next year makes me afride of the things to be faced.
Lord give me strength to face what all that you send to me. Please Lord help me to count my days. Help me to see how my end would be.
oh Lord please do not leave me alone. Give me some work to do where I will be really happy and useful to You till I die. This I am praying Father God, in the name of your dear son who died for me on the cross, Jesus Christ... amen and amen
May be God has other plans for me, first , I think He wanted me to learn how it would be sitting at home doing nothing .. by sending chickengunea, I was bed ridden for a month or so, later I tried to be normal by repairing the house, making preparations for John and Annie's wedding.This I did by sheer will power, physically I was completely ruined, every bone of my body was like a saw cutting my muscles.
But I did things for them and Happy family , for their comfort, with one and only notions and principle that driving me since the death of my husband. That is ' As their dad is no more i should never allow them feel, his absence, and never they should think, that, 'oh if only dad is alive things would never like this" I tried my level best for them for all these 10 years, doing everything for them as their dad would do or mom should do. never i allowed them to entertain the thought that they were fatherless children. nor I never showed myself to them that I as a helpless, dependent, weak widow and mother.
Later that was Christmas month, my children left me in the first week of the December, whatever be the reasons, they left me alone once again, in this wonderful season of the year.
I recollect those beautiful days how we used to celebrate the birth of Christ in our home when their father was alive. It was the most wonderful season for me and for my family. we used to sing the hymns, and decorate Christmas tree and star on the terrace and bulbs on the walls, colors and balloons everywhere, with different types of cakes and cookies to share with others.
But this Christmas I experienced more loneliness because the children were there in the first week of the season, and they left me all alone, in my home in the most cherished season of the eyar, ; they wanted to celbrate the Christams intheir homes, not with me,may be? nah, there were many other reasons to leave me here and go away, but ... but whatever be the reasons, they left me alone in my home.
What sort of celebrations can I opt for? Life seemed to be so tasteless , without any one around. and then doing something for celebrating lonely ,Every year I used to buy a set of new year calenders to give away as gifts to my colleagues and management in college. This year I was sick to go out, and I spent lonely because I could not drive or do shopping out side. Even the few friends who visit me regularly also could not come because they too were busy in celebrating the Birth of Christ with their families.
so this Christmas of 2010 was the most lonely Christmas i ever had., as i could not plan any thing for others as I was very very sick that month. and the next month too. I was at home doing nothing for three months, that is December and January, February.
Strange How God gave me strength, to face a different life at home. Every day was a problem for me. some horrible boils on feet, and legs,and arms, sprains in the back, swelling all over the body, ; all this made me to sit at home and just drag on life some how. But nobody knows about my pain and suffering except one dear friend of mine who used to come home everyday, and inquire about my health, and give some company to talk, to discuss, and laugh, as my mind is as active as ever, and I am still living in soul, as I had been all those past years of my life, the company of this friend made me to live my life.
In the month of March as it so happened I need to take up the venture of repairing the house in Vizag, which took me another three months, i.e., March ,April, May. I worked hard, without any help from any where, on the other hand, the pain in the body, the taunting from my own kith and kin, the obstacles they created were so horrible, that I never imagined in life. Not only physical ailment but mental strain and stress made me suffer a lot. But the fellowship of the Lutheran church in H B colony really helped me a lot to get strength from above.
later I found that new ailments developed and I need to see the Dental doctor immediately, I was completely in the home within the 4 walls of my room due to pain and suffering.
Hardly P recovered from that, still suffering , I landed in USA , to happy and James house. The only people who crave for my presence, and love me truly and care for me on this earth.If not they who are there to ask me to come to their home and stay with them? they provided a room for me with all the facilities , which i would never get any where in life , in any body's home either.
I Thank god and to them, for the love and care they show to me.
Though here my life is so cozy, I have no friend except the lap top in my lap here. hahah, As youngsters they are busy building their home, relations, and friendships.
I am here just doing sundry things for them. As I am suffering from Arthritis, and menopause ailments of the women, I am like another child for them as I have only the hands of 4 year old, and legs of 1 year old, feeble and weak.
Though my body is weak, my mind is sharp and active still. I desire for beautiful things,in life, friendships, laughter, and happiness with the people I could go pace with. Right at home.. There are very few people in my circle, who would not make any remark on my disposition, and who could exercise lots of patience with my forgetfulness,or feeble ways of doing things.
Right at home I have my own way of doing things, slowly and steadily,
Right at home I can make my own shopping and enjoy of spending money for me and for others which I never could fore go as long as i am able to go out.
Right at home I can drive my own car and go to different places , like friends, clubs, or social service organizations where I am needed. including my friends children weddings or get- to- gathers, where I will not be criticized but appreciated for my knowledge and timely advice they needed.
so whenever I go out I have life to live, friends to meet, to laugh without any prying eye what I do there. hahaha....
How I wish that my children could be within the reach right in India where I live. umm.. If life could give what all that we wanted and wished to have, then that is not the life at all, Anyway God has purpose in my life, and He still preparing me to meet that purpose. It is slowly and mildly being opened for me in due time.
Because even right at home, I am still and still a lonely widow, without any work to do and any one around in the home to smile at , or enquire a task, lonely lonely lonely all the time. from dawn to night. All other friends and get to gatherswill be there but , i need to be able to make time for them , needs lots of energy , enthusiasm and health to cooperate.
Oh is this retirement and old age, devour me and make me useless wherever i am??
what is my life for? why I am living?
where would I be happy and contented?
Why these questions never roused me to be as sick as I am now in the past?
This is a strange phase of my life, now next month, I am going to complete 59 years of my life, and entering into 60th year, will I be able to complete it?
How would be my life next year?
Can I keep my movements as usual?
Can I live my lonely life right at home without any problems?
Why God left me so lonely at this age?
I am not blaming God.. I am asking Him what is His purpose in this useless life of mine. one more year... how it would be? Never I questioned myself this way. But this next year makes me afride of the things to be faced.
Lord give me strength to face what all that you send to me. Please Lord help me to count my days. Help me to see how my end would be.
oh Lord please do not leave me alone. Give me some work to do where I will be really happy and useful to You till I die. This I am praying Father God, in the name of your dear son who died for me on the cross, Jesus Christ... amen and amen
working matters
Working Matters
(Eph. 6:5-9; Col.3:22-4:1; Titus 2:9-10; Tim... 6: 1-2)
Our work has worth (dignity)
reasons. #1 God Himself is a worker ( Gen . 1-2 and Exo . 20:11)
Reasons # 3 god's original Plan to mankind (Gen . 1: 26-28)
Our work is worship ( Eph. 6:5-9)
Our work is our Witness ( Titus 2:9-10) ! Tim 6:1)
Are you Obedient?
Obedient to those who are your masters (in all things) Eph 6:5; Col 3:22
Not only to those who are gentle. 1 Pet 2: 18
here the issues is Authority and Submission
Ask yourself these questions.
1. Am I obedient?
2. D I listen to and follow instructions?
3. Do I do what I am told to the best of my ability?
4. is my obedience selective?
5. On the job do I possess sincerity of heart-doing the will of God from the heart?
6. Do I grumble and complain?
Integrity
Whatever you do, work heartily, as to the Lord, rather than men
(Col 3; 22)
Well Pleasing in all things. Titus 2:9
The issue here is
Excellence
Ask your self these questions
1. Do I take pride in my work?
2. Do I work just as hard when the boss is not looking?
3. Am I giving it my all?
4. Am I cutting corners?
5. Do I do my wok with enthusiasm as unto Christ?
6. Is my perspective, attitude, motives and conduct Christ like?
Not argumentative
(Titus: 2:9)
The issue here is Conflict
Ask these questions you’re self
1. Do I seek to resolve conflicts in health ways?
2. do I respond with honesty and courtesy>
3. Am I team player> cooperative>
4. do I take proper responsibility for my actions>
5. Do I allow pride to get in the way of restoration>
6. Do I have a problem with gossip>
Not a pilfer (Titus 2:9)
The issue here is
Honesty and Integrity
Ask yourself these questions
1. Do I keep an honest accounting of hours and expense accounts?
2. Do I take things from the office ( e.g. Paper clips)
3. Do I spend unreasonable time on the phone and /or internet for personal reasons?
4. Am I giving my job my all? Extend break times?
5. Do I abuse sick days?
Showing all good faith-Titus 2; 9-10
The issue here is Loyalty and dependability
Ask your self these questions
1 Do I keep my word?
2 Do I meet my deadlines?
3. Am I trustworthy?
4. Am I dependable?
How would you describe your attitude about work?
How has your attitude affected your actions on the job?
As I result of today’s study from the worked of God, what changes Do you believe God wants you to make? What is your plan of implementation?
Write the name of one person at work whom you know is not a Christian. Throughout this week pray for an opportunity to share Christ with them.
7 questions to pray and answer your self
Set aside quiet time this week to prayerfully walk through these questions with the Lord, asking him to reveal to your heart any necessary changes.
1. Can I sit still without it driving me up a wall?
2. Do I find it difficult to say “no” to opportunities at work, but not in other areas of my life?
3. Do I frequently find it difficult to turn my mind off when I go to bed?
4. Do people around me frequently tell me, “You ought to slow down?”
5. When they do, do I consider that a compliment/
6. Do I procrastinate about taking vacations?
7. Do I find myself often bringing work home?
8. Do I have to get sick (or hurt) to slow down?
You are spending 1/3 of your life in work what answer you would give to God.
(Eph. 6:5-9; Col.3:22-4:1; Titus 2:9-10; Tim... 6: 1-2)
Our work has worth (dignity)
reasons. #1 God Himself is a worker ( Gen . 1-2 and Exo . 20:11)
Reasons # 3 god's original Plan to mankind (Gen . 1: 26-28)
Our work is worship ( Eph. 6:5-9)
Our work is our Witness ( Titus 2:9-10) ! Tim 6:1)
Are you Obedient?
Obedient to those who are your masters (in all things) Eph 6:5; Col 3:22
Not only to those who are gentle. 1 Pet 2: 18
here the issues is Authority and Submission
Ask yourself these questions.
1. Am I obedient?
2. D I listen to and follow instructions?
3. Do I do what I am told to the best of my ability?
4. is my obedience selective?
5. On the job do I possess sincerity of heart-doing the will of God from the heart?
6. Do I grumble and complain?
Integrity
Whatever you do, work heartily, as to the Lord, rather than men
(Col 3; 22)
Well Pleasing in all things. Titus 2:9
The issue here is
Excellence
Ask your self these questions
1. Do I take pride in my work?
2. Do I work just as hard when the boss is not looking?
3. Am I giving it my all?
4. Am I cutting corners?
5. Do I do my wok with enthusiasm as unto Christ?
6. Is my perspective, attitude, motives and conduct Christ like?
Not argumentative
(Titus: 2:9)
The issue here is Conflict
Ask these questions you’re self
1. Do I seek to resolve conflicts in health ways?
2. do I respond with honesty and courtesy>
3. Am I team player> cooperative>
4. do I take proper responsibility for my actions>
5. Do I allow pride to get in the way of restoration>
6. Do I have a problem with gossip>
Not a pilfer (Titus 2:9)
The issue here is
Honesty and Integrity
Ask yourself these questions
1. Do I keep an honest accounting of hours and expense accounts?
2. Do I take things from the office ( e.g. Paper clips)
3. Do I spend unreasonable time on the phone and /or internet for personal reasons?
4. Am I giving my job my all? Extend break times?
5. Do I abuse sick days?
Showing all good faith-Titus 2; 9-10
The issue here is Loyalty and dependability
Ask your self these questions
1 Do I keep my word?
2 Do I meet my deadlines?
3. Am I trustworthy?
4. Am I dependable?
How would you describe your attitude about work?
How has your attitude affected your actions on the job?
As I result of today’s study from the worked of God, what changes Do you believe God wants you to make? What is your plan of implementation?
Write the name of one person at work whom you know is not a Christian. Throughout this week pray for an opportunity to share Christ with them.
7 questions to pray and answer your self
Set aside quiet time this week to prayerfully walk through these questions with the Lord, asking him to reveal to your heart any necessary changes.
1. Can I sit still without it driving me up a wall?
2. Do I find it difficult to say “no” to opportunities at work, but not in other areas of my life?
3. Do I frequently find it difficult to turn my mind off when I go to bed?
4. Do people around me frequently tell me, “You ought to slow down?”
5. When they do, do I consider that a compliment/
6. Do I procrastinate about taking vacations?
7. Do I find myself often bringing work home?
8. Do I have to get sick (or hurt) to slow down?
You are spending 1/3 of your life in work what answer you would give to God.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
To the work, To the work.... (cont)
To the work! To the work! We are servants of God;
Let us follow the path that our Master has trod;
With the balm of His counsel our strength to renew,
Let us do with our might what our hands find to do.
Refrain
Toiling on, toiling on,
Toiling on, toiling on,
Let us hope and trust,
Let us watch and pray,
And labor till the Master comes.
To the work! To the work! Let the hungry be fed;
To the fountain of life let the weary be led;
In the cross and its banner our glory shall be,
While we herald the tidings, “Salvation is free!”
Refrain
To the work! To the work! There is labor for all;
For the kingdom of darkness and error shall fall;
And the love of our Father exalted shall be,
In the loud swelling chorus, “Salvation is free!”
Refrain
To the work! To the work! In the strength of the Lord,
And a robe and a crown shall our labor reward,
When the home of the faithful our dwelling shall be,
And we shout with the ransomed, “Salvation is free!”
Refrain
Let us follow the path that our Master has trod;
With the balm of His counsel our strength to renew,
Let us do with our might what our hands find to do.
Refrain
Toiling on, toiling on,
Toiling on, toiling on,
Let us hope and trust,
Let us watch and pray,
And labor till the Master comes.
To the work! To the work! Let the hungry be fed;
To the fountain of life let the weary be led;
In the cross and its banner our glory shall be,
While we herald the tidings, “Salvation is free!”
Refrain
To the work! To the work! There is labor for all;
For the kingdom of darkness and error shall fall;
And the love of our Father exalted shall be,
In the loud swelling chorus, “Salvation is free!”
Refrain
To the work! To the work! In the strength of the Lord,
And a robe and a crown shall our labor reward,
When the home of the faithful our dwelling shall be,
And we shout with the ransomed, “Salvation is free!”
Refrain
Friday, July 15, 2011
To the work, To the work....
Why people get up early in the morning and do work? They are always busy, busy doing something.
Right from the very toddler, busy busy doing something> Look at the school going children, look at the married couple, what is the difference between them and the two birds who are weaving a nest on top of the tree or in a burrow in ur shed, both look alike to me.
Busy busy to the work to the work , doing something in search of comfort, and responsibility,
We work and work till our hands and legs cannot do any thing on this earth.
we move in the circles of friends, clubs, social service activities, and religous meetings,
Sometimes we do not like the people we meet there, but we do continue till the end.
without the work a person feels useless, in old age too, the grandmas feel that they have some thing to do at the kitchen, if that work is taken away, life seems useless.
Grand fathers, poor guys, they do not feel anything to do, exept that to take a toddler out into the play ground.
The knowledge they gained, the expereince they earned all those wonderful years will become outdated with the new generation.
Even the education methods are outdated with the grand children, for they are most faster, or forward than the knowldege of the grand parents.
So in search of the work , the life line of living, the older generation feel that their term on this land is coming to an end.
Wherease the children, youth, middleaged, and the adults feel that they do not have any time to do anything .. as the pending work is too much to meet the ends.
may be that is the reason why many stalwarts we have when they did great creative works in their old age too.
Right from the very toddler, busy busy doing something> Look at the school going children, look at the married couple, what is the difference between them and the two birds who are weaving a nest on top of the tree or in a burrow in ur shed, both look alike to me.
Busy busy to the work to the work , doing something in search of comfort, and responsibility,
We work and work till our hands and legs cannot do any thing on this earth.
we move in the circles of friends, clubs, social service activities, and religous meetings,
Sometimes we do not like the people we meet there, but we do continue till the end.
without the work a person feels useless, in old age too, the grandmas feel that they have some thing to do at the kitchen, if that work is taken away, life seems useless.
Grand fathers, poor guys, they do not feel anything to do, exept that to take a toddler out into the play ground.
The knowledge they gained, the expereince they earned all those wonderful years will become outdated with the new generation.
Even the education methods are outdated with the grand children, for they are most faster, or forward than the knowldege of the grand parents.
So in search of the work , the life line of living, the older generation feel that their term on this land is coming to an end.
Wherease the children, youth, middleaged, and the adults feel that they do not have any time to do anything .. as the pending work is too much to meet the ends.
may be that is the reason why many stalwarts we have when they did great creative works in their old age too.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Tastes of generation gap...
But when it comes to Happy's home, my visit to her are completely different. What I take for them are the things which they do not get in USA, my journey is completely different from my ammamma or my dad, I travel by airplanes, which was never thought of my parents. May be my dad traveled by airplane only once in his life.
I have been thinking of taking my mom also by airplane and give her the experience of it, but I have not done it till now. cause she is not as active as she used to be, nor liking to travel the distances.
This is what i am also experiencing now, just two years back too, i was anxious to meet people and make relations with them , like to see new places, and taste new foods etc. But now i feel that everything is useless, and i have no appetite to taste, or desire to see new places. All that i need is a quiet room all by self where i can do my things in slow pace without any disturbances from any one. Even talking or laughing also become useless tome. i have no strength to move fast, or walk to meet people.
I need a book to read or TV to be entertained, and a computer to type and get news from my friends.
Friends?/ they too are very limited. what all about that juicy news we used to share in college departments? what happened all about that sharing of one another sorrows and joys? People used to wait for me to tell me something of their life, when i was working in college. But now there is nothing to talk , with another.
How can the next generations would know the owes of the parents.
only a few have that heart to melt to the sorrows of the older people and older parents. Bless them.
I have been thinking of taking my mom also by airplane and give her the experience of it, but I have not done it till now. cause she is not as active as she used to be, nor liking to travel the distances.
This is what i am also experiencing now, just two years back too, i was anxious to meet people and make relations with them , like to see new places, and taste new foods etc. But now i feel that everything is useless, and i have no appetite to taste, or desire to see new places. All that i need is a quiet room all by self where i can do my things in slow pace without any disturbances from any one. Even talking or laughing also become useless tome. i have no strength to move fast, or walk to meet people.
I need a book to read or TV to be entertained, and a computer to type and get news from my friends.
Friends?/ they too are very limited. what all about that juicy news we used to share in college departments? what happened all about that sharing of one another sorrows and joys? People used to wait for me to tell me something of their life, when i was working in college. But now there is nothing to talk , with another.
How can the next generations would know the owes of the parents.
only a few have that heart to melt to the sorrows of the older people and older parents. Bless them.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
My Father's Home
The set up in my Father's home was completely different from my ammamma's home; Whenever my parents visit my home ,there is nothing much I need , but still the mummy's tasteful mutton curry was one of the items we waited for, among other items like clothes and other necessities which i can use in the kitchen.
My dad and mom used to come to my home for a week or a month,they coud not spend much time with me inmy home due to the responsibilities at home and in job. (((But my father used to have much longing to see me always, he has much hidden love for me allways, and he used to show it in different ways. most of all he longed to spend time with me. I feel ashamed now for i did not give much time to him due to many reasons, one out most thing was i was feeling self righteous and looked down at him as he was attending other group of Christians and forsake the group i attend. Such was the pride and foolishness i exercised many years, and i feel utterly ashamed of myself now for no use or rectification , however i repent now, for he is far away from all of us in heaven.
If only i could meet him there i would ask his pardon for all of my foolishness and rudeness towards him. In fact there are many more things i feel ashamed and repentance now. Especially my self righteousness, and my godliness made me to look down at other people and treat them unlikely.
Do i repeat the same thing even now? i should check my self)))
They used to cometo us just to spend time with my daughter, Happy, and son John.
My dad used to feel very proud to have his grand child in his lap.
In fact when Happy was born he was very much disappointed, as that was a girl again in our home of three girls. When the doctor Soubhagy lakshmi from Ghosha hospital, vizayanagaram announced that I gave birth to a girl baby , the face of my dad was changed with shadow of disappointment. and he said to my husband ," see again a girl"
The reply given by my husband filled joy on every face in that room. "Yes uncle, she is the God given gift for us"
We think of children so very much and expect love and affection from them in return. Life is so mixed with great changes in life. I often wonder why God make human relations so complicated, except the relation between husband and wife , all other relations would change. I admire the old couples always how they help one another and give support to one another, and live for one another.
Only when a Home really obey the God's instructions, like wife obeying husband and husband loving wife; such homes are the heavens on earth. The prayer that goes from that house brings great fruits of blessings to others.
Where there is pride and calculating mind of money, the house would be a hell to live in.
I am sure I have given such home to my children always, when they were with us.
I am sure I was hundred percent obedient to my husband in every matter, even though
I could not agree with him in every matter. But I always used to remember that Ideal woman in Proverbs 31 and strove to be like that woman in my life. Only eternity would reward me for what I have gone through.
My dad and mom used to come to my home for a week or a month,they coud not spend much time with me inmy home due to the responsibilities at home and in job. (((But my father used to have much longing to see me always, he has much hidden love for me allways, and he used to show it in different ways. most of all he longed to spend time with me. I feel ashamed now for i did not give much time to him due to many reasons, one out most thing was i was feeling self righteous and looked down at him as he was attending other group of Christians and forsake the group i attend. Such was the pride and foolishness i exercised many years, and i feel utterly ashamed of myself now for no use or rectification , however i repent now, for he is far away from all of us in heaven.
If only i could meet him there i would ask his pardon for all of my foolishness and rudeness towards him. In fact there are many more things i feel ashamed and repentance now. Especially my self righteousness, and my godliness made me to look down at other people and treat them unlikely.
Do i repeat the same thing even now? i should check my self)))
They used to cometo us just to spend time with my daughter, Happy, and son John.
My dad used to feel very proud to have his grand child in his lap.
In fact when Happy was born he was very much disappointed, as that was a girl again in our home of three girls. When the doctor Soubhagy lakshmi from Ghosha hospital, vizayanagaram announced that I gave birth to a girl baby , the face of my dad was changed with shadow of disappointment. and he said to my husband ," see again a girl"
The reply given by my husband filled joy on every face in that room. "Yes uncle, she is the God given gift for us"
We think of children so very much and expect love and affection from them in return. Life is so mixed with great changes in life. I often wonder why God make human relations so complicated, except the relation between husband and wife , all other relations would change. I admire the old couples always how they help one another and give support to one another, and live for one another.
Only when a Home really obey the God's instructions, like wife obeying husband and husband loving wife; such homes are the heavens on earth. The prayer that goes from that house brings great fruits of blessings to others.
Where there is pride and calculating mind of money, the house would be a hell to live in.
I am sure I have given such home to my children always, when they were with us.
I am sure I was hundred percent obedient to my husband in every matter, even though
I could not agree with him in every matter. But I always used to remember that Ideal woman in Proverbs 31 and strove to be like that woman in my life. Only eternity would reward me for what I have gone through.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Generations Gap (cont)
Yes that was with my Ammamma, that is from my mother side,
From my father side my Thaathayya used to come from our village once in an year , and used to stay for a month or so. In fact my ammamma and Thaathayya were own brother and sister, so my mom and dad were close cousins and related to each other, On the other hand my parents marriage was Child marriage, At the time of their marriage My mom was only 9 years old and my dad was 13 years old it seems.
So my thaathayya , when he comes to our home he used to bring a big Jack fruit from our fields, and Munjulu , and big slab of jaggery, and pot full of jaggery paakam, along witing me other delicacies which we do not get in the cities.
Thaathayya,, s anme was Bhimayya, and Ammamma name was Somalamma, later when she come to Christ , her name was changed as Sugunamma, So my thaathayya got a very big house right in our native village, with many trees, and cattle, and fields,
My uncle , that is the brother of mydad used to tell me, that he was unfortunate for not getting studies as my dad did in the local school and thereby he became a farmer and wherease my dad became Police officer. This was an endless story depicted by my chinnanna, whenver i got ot that village, My parents used to take all things in ab ig trunk whever we visited them, and the whole village used to come to see and used to take the things which were distributed to them by my parents. My Menatha( dad's sister) used to cook Ganti bhojanama and with chicken curry and used to serve us with utmost love and affection. even my Chinnamma used to take care of me so lovingly , serving me special quota of food , separately.
My aunty , that is the youngest sister of my dad Subbalkshmi used to teach me all new songs and dances and pamper me so much by allowing me to look into her text books which were kept in her Iron Trunk under the Big cot which was known as Pandhiri mancham,which used to be only in the rich people house in those days.
My dad used to take me to the Rachabanda , a place to be seated by the elders of the village and he used to ask me to recite the poems and mathematical tables in front of every one. and thus telling them that he got most intelligent girl as his daughter. Never did i humiliate him by not obeying him.
Those were the old good days, with lots of pampering and fun for me.
Though they were no where in comparison of our style of life now, They were enjoying thier lives in full, eating to hearts content and living a life of full contentment. Nothing was lacking in comparison of the life we have now. The clothes were not many, the luxuries are not much, but simple steady life, with a daily routine was wonderful to be cherished all the time.
From my father side my Thaathayya used to come from our village once in an year , and used to stay for a month or so. In fact my ammamma and Thaathayya were own brother and sister, so my mom and dad were close cousins and related to each other, On the other hand my parents marriage was Child marriage, At the time of their marriage My mom was only 9 years old and my dad was 13 years old it seems.
So my thaathayya , when he comes to our home he used to bring a big Jack fruit from our fields, and Munjulu , and big slab of jaggery, and pot full of jaggery paakam, along witing me other delicacies which we do not get in the cities.
Thaathayya,, s anme was Bhimayya, and Ammamma name was Somalamma, later when she come to Christ , her name was changed as Sugunamma, So my thaathayya got a very big house right in our native village, with many trees, and cattle, and fields,
My uncle , that is the brother of mydad used to tell me, that he was unfortunate for not getting studies as my dad did in the local school and thereby he became a farmer and wherease my dad became Police officer. This was an endless story depicted by my chinnanna, whenver i got ot that village, My parents used to take all things in ab ig trunk whever we visited them, and the whole village used to come to see and used to take the things which were distributed to them by my parents. My Menatha( dad's sister) used to cook Ganti bhojanama and with chicken curry and used to serve us with utmost love and affection. even my Chinnamma used to take care of me so lovingly , serving me special quota of food , separately.
My aunty , that is the youngest sister of my dad Subbalkshmi used to teach me all new songs and dances and pamper me so much by allowing me to look into her text books which were kept in her Iron Trunk under the Big cot which was known as Pandhiri mancham,which used to be only in the rich people house in those days.
My dad used to take me to the Rachabanda , a place to be seated by the elders of the village and he used to ask me to recite the poems and mathematical tables in front of every one. and thus telling them that he got most intelligent girl as his daughter. Never did i humiliate him by not obeying him.
Those were the old good days, with lots of pampering and fun for me.
Though they were no where in comparison of our style of life now, They were enjoying thier lives in full, eating to hearts content and living a life of full contentment. Nothing was lacking in comparison of the life we have now. The clothes were not many, the luxuries are not much, but simple steady life, with a daily routine was wonderful to be cherished all the time.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Generations Gap
When i ponder over the life pattern of our family, i thank God for all the good things He wrought in our lives. When i think of my grandma and the parents of my parents, i remember those simple villages with only source of water from a small channel of water that used to go thru the village , hardly having a population of 100 or 150 people. A small temple with beautiful colors was there in the middle of the hamlet, where the idols were taken out only once in a year, the rest of the time inside a room where they were locked invisible to every one. We used to go there to play on the big verendah of that temple ,in every summer holidays. My ammamma used to cook Aresalu ,and pokandulu cookies, which used to be prepared with fresh rice flour and jaggery .
We used to lie down on the cots right under the clean sky of stars, multitude of them , I used to count them laying there till i get sleep. My dad used to sit on my bed and talk to my mom and ammamma while they were preparing those cookies. i do not remember i used to fell in sleep, but i remember i got a dream there once which was so vivid . I dreamt the letters of the name of Jesus right across the sky under which i used to lie. Those letters were so big and i had great joy while i read those letters and pronounce the name of Jesus. When i woke up next morning I was looking up and searching the same vision could be seen again. whenever I go there i allways used to search for that vision across the sky.
ammamma used tohave only two room thatched house which was much above the other houses with a small thatched bath room with a small stone to stand and take bath. ammamma used to boil water for us to have good bath with soap nuts, for a long time.
She used to cook fresh grains of grains dal and we used to eat hot rice with it and also having Nuvvula noone, (Gingily oil) lots of it in our rice. Sometimes When my dad comes she used to have nice chicken curry , with coconut rice. She used to rear chickens for this purpsoe for whole year to give us good chicken curry.
Ammama used to bring a big jute bag of things whenever she used to visit us. They were freshly grown brinjals , Thegalu, jaggery Burragunjulu, mokkajonnalu aresalu nad many poka undalu etc > It was a great even for us children whenever she comes. Though they were nothing in comparison the eatables we used to have at home, the way she used to give them with much love, and the way she toiled to bring them travelling such long distance by walking to get a bus and then traveling by jadka Bandi, and a boat to cross the River Godavari, and also by traveling by Train made us to receive thing she brought with great reverence and love for her.
We used to lie down on the cots right under the clean sky of stars, multitude of them , I used to count them laying there till i get sleep. My dad used to sit on my bed and talk to my mom and ammamma while they were preparing those cookies. i do not remember i used to fell in sleep, but i remember i got a dream there once which was so vivid . I dreamt the letters of the name of Jesus right across the sky under which i used to lie. Those letters were so big and i had great joy while i read those letters and pronounce the name of Jesus. When i woke up next morning I was looking up and searching the same vision could be seen again. whenever I go there i allways used to search for that vision across the sky.
ammamma used tohave only two room thatched house which was much above the other houses with a small thatched bath room with a small stone to stand and take bath. ammamma used to boil water for us to have good bath with soap nuts, for a long time.
She used to cook fresh grains of grains dal and we used to eat hot rice with it and also having Nuvvula noone, (Gingily oil) lots of it in our rice. Sometimes When my dad comes she used to have nice chicken curry , with coconut rice. She used to rear chickens for this purpsoe for whole year to give us good chicken curry.
Ammama used to bring a big jute bag of things whenever she used to visit us. They were freshly grown brinjals , Thegalu, jaggery Burragunjulu, mokkajonnalu aresalu nad many poka undalu etc > It was a great even for us children whenever she comes. Though they were nothing in comparison the eatables we used to have at home, the way she used to give them with much love, and the way she toiled to bring them travelling such long distance by walking to get a bus and then traveling by jadka Bandi, and a boat to cross the River Godavari, and also by traveling by Train made us to receive thing she brought with great reverence and love for her.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
surprises
Life is full of surprises, How it comes in our way, we just cannot comprehend. when a surprise comes on our way, it just look like as an ordinary occurrence in life, we face it and take and risk it; cherish it at that moment, but as the life goes on further. when we look back we wonder how we had gone through it , some times successfully and some times not so successfully.
Sometimes when we go back into our lives and things we did in the past , thinking that was best thing we could do and that we were really clever at those moments; make us feel ashame of ourselves in the present context.
How many things were like that, right in our childhood , youthfulness, middle age, even in this older years... !! There is always some childish, stupid doings ..which we feel that we never should have done them.
But we did them, thinking at that juncture that what we were doing was just the right thing and intelligent thing that ever could be.
Sometimes when we go back into our lives and things we did in the past , thinking that was best thing we could do and that we were really clever at those moments; make us feel ashame of ourselves in the present context.
How many things were like that, right in our childhood , youthfulness, middle age, even in this older years... !! There is always some childish, stupid doings ..which we feel that we never should have done them.
But we did them, thinking at that juncture that what we were doing was just the right thing and intelligent thing that ever could be.
Monday, July 4, 2011
freedom
It was in the month of April i wrote here, i am happy to come here once again, to write something, This is my friend with whom i can share my feelings. My thirst for writing will be fulfilled beautifully,
I know that every one is alone in this world in one way or the other, but not having any one to laugh with makes one miserable, but i see that there are many many people having nothing to do, just searching for daily food and resting their aching bones in some shade, and seeing the next morning.
what if i loose all the freedom in the world, Freedom? ha ha , the freedom i define is just sleeping whenever i like and getting up when i feel like to get up, reading whatever i like whenever i like , seeing tv whatever i like, chit chating with any one of my friends on my own mobile whenever i like, visiting whenever i feel like to visit them, laughing with them sharing small jokes i like to share, inviting them home whenever i like them to visit me, going to them whenever i like to meet them, doing my own gardening and cooking whatever i want to cook, and share the food with whomever i wish to share with... This is my small world for which i crave for.
when last time i came back to India after two months of stay here, i felt so relieved when i stepped into my home, then i felt strange, wondering , why there is none to receive me here, not even to open the doors for me, why i should crave to come back, hey at least i had job to do in those days. But i felt the same when i came from Vizag , i felt so relieved to reach my own home in Eluru, even though i came from my own home in Vizag.
I know that every one is alone in this world in one way or the other, but not having any one to laugh with makes one miserable, but i see that there are many many people having nothing to do, just searching for daily food and resting their aching bones in some shade, and seeing the next morning.
what if i loose all the freedom in the world, Freedom? ha ha , the freedom i define is just sleeping whenever i like and getting up when i feel like to get up, reading whatever i like whenever i like , seeing tv whatever i like, chit chating with any one of my friends on my own mobile whenever i like, visiting whenever i feel like to visit them, laughing with them sharing small jokes i like to share, inviting them home whenever i like them to visit me, going to them whenever i like to meet them, doing my own gardening and cooking whatever i want to cook, and share the food with whomever i wish to share with... This is my small world for which i crave for.
when last time i came back to India after two months of stay here, i felt so relieved when i stepped into my home, then i felt strange, wondering , why there is none to receive me here, not even to open the doors for me, why i should crave to come back, hey at least i had job to do in those days. But i felt the same when i came from Vizag , i felt so relieved to reach my own home in Eluru, even though i came from my own home in Vizag.
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