LTTR3

Time 00:00hrs (10:08:05) Day 23 (entering the Gulf of Oman)
Hey Jimmy! Still in India? –Just kidding I hope you’ll also soon go abroad, from the land we ever knew! But that’s the question, which tormented me all those months while I was in Bombay searching for a company. Hey Do u know – I am just off my watch keeping on bridge from 20:00—00:00 hrs. but this time it is not just 4 hours—But for the first time in my life (like Hezekiah king? l0l) Its 20 min more that 4 hours so, I have done extra 20 min duty; though I enjoy my work here on bridge (Bridge= The upper part of accommodation with glass wind shields to watch over the ship from where ship is controlled) here he drew the ship and the bridge and where he sits..lol sorry if you guys already know. Hey do you know – the place above the bridge where magnetic compass, radar, antenna…etc are fixed is called
MONKEY ISALND” lol
Any way , so how have you been? I called your house and dad’s office, and he was trying to tell me that your university people did not send notice yet—Just then an officer here came on deck to me( actually I was on duty –tallying the cargo being loaded in) so, I have to hang up telling your dad that I would call again- this is when I was in Tutuicorn. But I could not call again- say sorry my cell is low in balance.

Time 00:45 (11:03:35 Day 24 ( ANCHORAGE)
Oh my! Life is hard today ( day 23) till now I am used . No sleep only 6 hours -- since morning 8 I worked in hot sun. Its too hot here. Moreover this Bosum saw to it that I worked more – I was always given the hardest task and hardest position in every work today. Out of his fun and my pain he did boxing on my both shoulders when I was not aware all of a sudden—hmm twice I fell down to his shots—lol He is hefty 6’2 feet, well built Syrian, eats much, makes us work like slaves. I couldn’t continue now—I got to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be more tough, coz going to port we need to secure ship with mooring ropes which weigh easily ¾ tons each Adding to this Bosum challenged to others and me that he’s make me pull out all those hawser ropes out from the bottom of forward store room Jesus – you got to help me- I am dying … sigh!!

13:02 Last (Danmam) Day 27 (14:08:05)

OH jimmy! You have to forgive me . I am getting to the general topics again to update you guys of what happened in the coast ¾ days. Oh thank you Jesus is what I keep saying out . Life is hard to fit in but, as beautiful(still) because of Him. Today is the Lord’s day and what am I doing here and now? I am bit worried that I am missing all my Sundays, the ones that I used to be so (over) religious as some Pharisee. Now everyday seems to be Sunday for me. I desperately hang on to him every minute to survive on . I do not feel that I need a special day for thinking about God., like in old.
Now its 13 hrs and you people must have just returned from worship service. Here for me Bible is all I got to keep on the track and learn lessons of life. Everyday , I feel it’s a new challenge to prove and glorify God in my activities.
God blessed me enough – I some times feel that God is so clever keep me here ( LOL) the exact place where I can be molded as He wants. You know, If I start counting the blessings, they will stretch on for some 2meters down this page atleast for now) . Here are someà Captain is so considerable and carries a very good impression on me.
· He said he has thoughts of making me the third officer of this ship. – is it not wonderful? Actually its impossible without me doing 36 months cadet training certificate and passing the 6 month +z very hard exams in the shipping (MMD) to clear my II mate exam.à But it can just happen the way in this gulf company. Its so funny like some guys change from deck department to engine department( vice versa) without any prior notice or problem
· The chief officer a strict disciplinarian ( strict officer as Joel says) also regards me well these days. He even complimented me that “ I am good on bridge” , He , I think keeps telling Bosum to consider me special and teach me deck work too. In fact, yesterday while I was working with the fitter, He appreciated me ( very good s fitter says) in Arabic language (family, ethnic )
· Bosum heard my background two days back, and since then I have noticed his attitude changed towards me. Thank you Jesus!! Its goodness you put in me—and not my own.
· ON 25th day “ I steered the ship” all alone. For the first time and I am doing it daily now. Praise God!!
· On day 26th we started sailing to Dammom ( Kingdom of Saudi Arabia) and for the very first time I have seen dolphin, live, 10 of them , swimming along with our ship—I got so excited and shouted out loud even “ while at work” Jesus They are wonderful!!
· Day 27th We reached Dammom early morn around 7 am new air! Clear waters ,dry sky.. big , structured port. But not a soul around. The whole place is just lifeless. The stevedores are all (mostly) Indians who work for Rs 5000/- and the rest Nepalese and Bangladeshi. The same day I got class from 3rd engineer saying Christ didn’t die, making fun mocking using bad words to all Christians—me, my dad, ,my family –lol I just kept smiling and said you do not know- said Christ died for sure for my sins, and said within myself – if not why does the devil tremble and why do I get peace when I trust Him. I felt reassured comforted when I recollected my God given promise while I was in Loyola among the catholic fathers No one shall pluck them out of my hand John 10:28


To be continued

LTTR 2 FROM JOHN

From: "John Max" View contact details
To: insidersband@yahoogroups.com
DAY 22 TROPIC OF CANCER 09/08/05
Here I go again-----this time it’s a new venture, if you’ve already notice—this is the paper printout roll of weather reports and official letters to and from ship to chatter (the organization that takes the voyage plans on lease from the sip owner) This ship’s charter is about to end after this voyage to Damman and Ajman. So soon the ship’s company (owner) will give the ship on lease to a new chartering company, which will decide the trade routes and cargo type and destination, ports —for the profit of the ships company (Kassab Inters hipping) Got it? Sorry if I am bothering u with this kind of stuff but I want you also to know how things work here just for knowledge.
They say that soon after this chatter closing this ship would be sent to ‘ workshop’ (Deck work) where as “Dry Deck” –means repairing the under water part of ship too so this might require 2/3 weeks of stay in Ajman before we start off with new charter. I was afraid that I might somehow miss sending Birthday cards to mom and sis so I posted them while I was in Tuticorn itself.
So far, I am putting aside the urge to get into the personal touch – But now lets start- so Hi Mr. D.J!! How are you dong? How is your dad’s health? And where did Rupa join for B’tech? Counseling over? Howz life going on?
Guess you are staying in your aunt’s house in Hyderabad. So how is the GRE preparation going on? Guy—you really need focus—sincerely hope you are doing it—huh? Man- and Man’s advices- wont” work much—I know it on my behalf – so, I ‘ am trying to keep my mouth shut—but, still I like to tell you just this which sums up all that I can say for now to you” Just let God Do the Dealing” and stay still to see His Salvation” – I say this because of what I have gone through and learnt for the last few long months. Prem, Do your best, some people – like you seem to go on with life no matter what they are surrounded by—I mean people like you wont get much pushing from friends and family, like saying some thing encouraging. But, for sure they make you feel that they are looking up to you, expecting something extraordinary out of you –ain’t it true? But Prem for in life (good) people come and go- just like the hard times, which enrich our moral soul. And every one in their life sometime or the other silently go through tensions “ swimming hard water like a duck- but still appear as if everything is cool on the outset”
Few months back I happened to meet a Christian psychiatrist (well known enough to be one of 8 representatives of Ravi Zachaia”s in India) I told him some part of me – specially a few very dark patches in my secret life, which of course you guys know though not vivid. So after a few sessions of long hours of walk by the sea side at night time—all he said, which of course helped me is – to read some spiritual book at least for ½ hour –everyday” It amazingly worked for me- you know, now I am afraid that I am running out of spiritual books here on board I hope it work for you too. Specially in times when the Satan makes you feel d’ disappointed with God” – you can still hang on to these books which will in course lead you back to track to see where we missed the joy.
Oh my! My mind is running fastà Many thoughts lapsed by even before I started this Para—lol, Prem, If I ever made you feel left out among others, really sorry. I could say and a thousand words or more. But, for now-“god is here, don’t let go off Him” Please pray for me. I for sure need your prayers. No matter how busy you are (or seems to be), I just want you to pray for every time you pray for yourself. Pray that I pray more. Please and thanks. Sorry if hurt.. Ok? Say greetings to your mom and dad your brothers too. Don’t forget or should I ask Joel to convey it? Finally sorry, if you feel bad about me Oh, now my time up I need to take shower, shave read some stuff and get ready for my Bridge Watch you know I am the most qualified guy o board (B.Sc) LOL of course the atmosphere we grew up music, church, books, letters, games, computers, relations and faith is parallel to none here. (Thank you Jesus!) Gods timing is prefect so are His ways and plans for us God bless!!

To be continued

LETTER FROM JOHN FROM THE SHIP

Tuesday, October 4, 2005 7:34 PM
From:
"JOHN MAX"
View contact details
To:
insidersband@yahoogroups.com
Day 18 Dammam: Sailing Tuticorn 05:8: 05

Dear Insiders, Greetings in His name! Grateful that I'm in your
prayers for sure. This is going to be my 2nd letter to you guys, and
my 3rd one going out of this ship after writing to my mom and
sis….hmm.
Joel, Jimmy, Joseph, and Jed…how are you? I miss you all—too much
but, life is taking its 'course' I suppose you know this song " the
tide is high, but I ` m moving on" Its same for me.
This letter I want to tell you something about this kinda
life and how I'm doing in it. But one thing is for sure I could not
suggest any of `our' types ones to get into this. At least for now
I feel that way. One of many reasons is No One knows what waits
when. And especially in times like that if God keeps SILENT ----
I've known it to be horrible. But, thank god He makes me feel alive
at least. I pray that such a phase as Job's (in Bible) never come
up in any of your (our) lives.
Matter of fact… Its all in our choice and the decision we
make. Its like , for now, I can make this letter to show how good
life here is – at the same time I can also burden you thinking that
I `m just struggling to survive and keep my vessel afloat.
By the way, Does Jesus want us to be emotional (sensitive)
by the way when He said" Learn from me for I am gentle and TENDER ?
I am learning my lessons ( spiritual ones) and now begging to think
that its damn easy to misunderstood what God says in His Word, and
imply it the wrong way. Only God can help us in that matter again.
Sometimes I just wonder " Am I thinking (philosophy) much? "
So far, the Bible, Our Daily Bread and What's so amazing
about Grace? –by Phillip Yancey has been of good help to me and this
book is almost about to end. They are something that keeps me feel
good when disturbed…hmm FULLSTOP
O.K here's it -----I got on board on 19th evening around
18:30 or so, along with 5 Syrian guys, some(2) who worked earlier in
the same ship some of them officers on engine side and with 4 other
Indians. 2 of them are A/B (able seamen) that comes under non-
officers (deck side) and 2 more cadets like me. One guy called
JITENDHER SINGH (A/B) is very crooked, he is 21 but just because he
is experienced (sailing) before, that too in the same company of
different ships, he thinks he is the owner and the best worst thing
about him is, he gains name and fame by suppressing others (like me,
who are new) before the officers and BOSUM (in charge of deck-non-
officers) So this guy gets on my nerve very often but so far by
God's grace I just avoided strife. I wish I could really love him
but, … hmm OK. I WILL!! He brings in regionalism and says I am no
Indian –( Pakisthani----LOL) Just because I do not speak Hindi and I
eat beef I speak English and for what not?…he just finds me
irritating –lol Sometimes when I am slogging in work, he passes by
whistling and singing ---Good Lord! Help me take things Positively.
Some times like that I also try to sing out or whistle at least from
my mouth, though for not sure from heart.
By the way, I am writing my dairy, and some times I get so
confused with dates and days cause, I work 4 or 6 hours (on and Off)
when ship is at anchor, and so. While writing the dairy I could not
make out the times before sleep and after sleep in a single day—
funny, two times I even forgot to brush my teeth LOLOLOLLL…
hhhhhhmmmm. Ok next two pages I will tell how I work the negative
and the positives here. Cause every time I start a Para, I soon end
up in philosophy. Lololol
The time when I got on board in Bombay our ship is
discharging sulphur ore in bulk (where frontfering takes place from
ships to Bonges=(open small ships for loading and supplying)
through GRABS cause over ship is not a long sides the Jetty. It was
in onchorage area. We got there by a launch (telugu) so, suplhur did
irritate my skin much and as fumes and dust burned my eyes, couldnot
sleep at nights. But the reasl task came in while cleaning the
Hatches ( cargo holds) ( we got 3 in our ship) It's a tough job.
Cleaning them with fire hose and draining out water into drums and
collecting the "garbage" (smuge—grime) which turns out into black
rotten color(like in our street drainages) and of course smells like
the septic tank with real white wriggle worm(born out of bacteria)
from the Bilge tanks (which are bit lower level than hatch floor)
These Bilge tanks really suck!! They have 2X1 foot manhole. Through
which I have to sneak in and clean the rot without a trace of water.
Its just `dirty' whole body stinks fingers and nails turn black,
skin is covered with oil and suphur –oh my I literally cried I felt
like prodigal son and that the times like.
Our car driver gets $100-/for just sitting behind the wheel – that
too without paying some 2 lac Rupees to some cheating agent like I
did.. lol Mommy—I want to come home- this what I thought I would
says all through my first week or 10 days till we reach Tuticorn Oh
during the first sailing from Mumbai – Tuticorn –5 days) I felt very
sea sick vomited often but again forced to eat made to drink sea
water for accustoming . laughed at . I really felt left alone I
understood no one really cares—really guys, love your `parents and
your loves ones' no matter how (they behave or react, cause no one
cares –no one pats your back or close ears while vomiting or at
least ask how you feel , let alone offering a tablet. So, reaching
Tuticorn I just poured out all my grief and pain first to my sister
cause I know she offers me good advice in sound mind with not much
emotional feelings like my mom. Then I wired mom and hung up both
times unable to control my crying lol lol . But their words that got
into me between my sniffs worked well somehow---mom advised me "
accept the situation" –sister emphasized that it was my choice. Mom
prayed, and so did I after hanging up the phone. God made me see
that the problem is—that I was asking God to bend his ways into mine
with no slightest idea that I am deviating but God kept strictly to
His track. So I felt lonely and unloved__ I cried not just because
of comparing my past life with the present, but because God kept
silent in all these tensions and decisions.
Then as ever, came the calm after the storm and God
said, `Its Me" (HIM) who brought you here – you did not come on your
own" so in a flick of moment all my resentment and regrets vanished,
Even if this is the worst company worst ship (where cadets slog like
A/B) though A/B get mere $250 than we for same work thought it
travels the worst routes (gulfs and India) The worst crew (Syrian-
who doesn't even know a bit of English or Hindi except Arabic) with
worst food(Syrian food which is Arabic bread bread and bread)
whatever –god in future and with faith (even now has given me what
He thinks is best for me. So lord, help me to be grateful to you.)
6/08/05

My address
JOHN (Deck Cadet)
M.V.Express Ship
Kassab Inter Shipping L.L.C
P.O Box 20355,
AJMAN
U.A.E
Hey but for every story there's a bright side too. In fact writing
about the goodness that I am going thru means that I am recollecting
(say, counting the blessings) god's goodness towards me and doing
that means praising Him.
The day I got here I am the first one to be allotted one
separate room with and attached bathroom with commode and geyser,
sink mirror and 6 tube lights centralized air conditioned with a
sponge bed, sofa, writing desk and a cupboard all rigidly fixed.
my room is on the main deck (star board side) with a little window
port hole) towards the astern every room has a life jacket according
to I MO rules. self igniting light, refrost reflective tapes and
belt. Food the first day breakfast for me seemed just delicious a
full fridge of cheese, butter, strawberry jam, and yellow ham
bottles Nobic bread olive fruits too many eggs Syrian seeds- which
exactly look like (Doves" s bit ) hahah green water seeds without
any specific taste ( just reminded me of king Hezekiah in bible
where pigeons shit was sold)And what not? Beef in different styles
pizzas with mushrooms capsicum beefsteaks daily one fruit apple /
banana weekly once Sprite cans. but you know you get bored of all
these within 3 days I now long just for plain rice or at least
rasam.


IMO International Maritime Organization





Sing Praises to the LORD!!

LETTERS FROM THE SEA,,JOHN

PORT-PIPAVA 26/09/05….MONDAY 23:45 hrs

Mom, My Mom,

Greetings in His name! I’ am glad you’re doing well. I praise Him. So, How life? Hmm. b4 anything else- I just (first) want to thank u for all that you’re to me not all guys are not lucky as me—I ‘m proud of you. God= I believe, guided you to bring me up to be the man I am now. The thing is on board we get to live the rest of the crew for all the 24 hours and we easily get to know the real faces of others – of course some (here) are ugly. But, the goodness lies in admiring those faces out of love- which comes out of forgiveness just because He commanded us to: But—God has been soooo Good to me. In fact I can just swipe those faces. Out of my memory just like saying ‘ who cares?’ But I still carry on. Sometimes I get unnecessarily blamed but I still carry on. My strength comes from MY BIBLE on my desk ever opened to read anytime.
Things sometimes suddenly get shattered those facts we believed so far—of course, they included the things we imposed on others saying, what we believe is right. Remember those days –where – wearing jeans is a topic to higher people (that, so) playing chess is a deadly sin –reading paper on Sunday is out of question – not buying a water packet or drink while selling chandler or distributing tracts on sunny Sundays is considered righteousness—playing video game in a parlor is a discussion in church (among parents) –LoL! 1 God spared us –he guided us – and still does. Sometimes while letters or a dairy (here) I often get silence up – all of a sudden all my wisdom, al the “ thought – so” spiritual knowledge and experience vanish off before the thought of “ GOD’S SMARTNESS. So, in times like that my pen doesn’t go further like Balaam’s donkey—lol. So, I keep praising Him till I feel sleepy..Lolol the Goodness within me (us) –is it goodness at all? —But on the contrast I’ve seen people who have never fasted, goodness in their lives, so, they are all –time crooked. For people like them, the false pretenses and ‘ show of’ goodness is something they adore.
Thanks for teaching me letters ( ‘G’ letter) on your lap. Thanks for telling me all the Bible stories right in my primary. Thanks to Dad for teaching me how to pray . I remember the incident how he taught me how to pray for the first time in the house near Vedharaj theater, Thanks for good dresses and shoes you bought for me right from childhood—I wonder how and why I do not even think of buying my own choice of clothes till I am in my 11th class. Thanks for the delicious dishes you make for me –especially those when I sued to get back home from NCC camps or hostel. I miss it now. Thanks for the fear you put in me to stay off the girls. You saved my moral health. Thanks for your courage and cool Spirit after Dad went to Heaven. Of course I mean you are better than many others who close in. Hey! Thanks for re- re- re repairing the computer every time after I crash it down—still allowed me to play video games –lol Thanks for allowing me to chat. Thanks for accepting Madonna as my very good friend, (say hello to her on phone—sometimes please) Thanks also for keeping me off some relatives. I could have been deviated. Thanks for teaching me to say thanks and please and sorry. I guess you are aware f ho I use those terms. Thanks for being yourself. GOD BLESS –
Love, son JMX

THE WAY THE CHILD IS TAUGHT TO WALK WITH GOD

. MY WALK WITH JESUS—(THE STORIES THAT HAPPENED)

STORY OF PICKNIC ---JOHN 1990

I was in my 3rd class. For the past two years our class teacher took us for picnics on one Sunday in the year.. But mom used to tell me, ‘o my little sweet sonny, I cant’ send you to the picnics; I am so afraid to send u alone with them, let us all go to picnics as a family rather. ’ Saying so she did not allow me to go anywhere with any one else. Anyway mom is always right so I did not bother her much. On the other hand, mom and dad wanted me to be with them on Lord’s day to pray together. So last two years I too did not press them much, knowing that it would be more beautiful thing to be in the church with mom and dad and sister, rather than the picnic.
Sometimes I did not like to go to Sunday school. Our dad used to be with us only Sundays. So we like to sit in the lap of our dad while mom was talking to him. That I liked very much. Sometimes I used to sleep just like that on those Sunday afternoons. But mom used to insist that we should go to Sunday school. At 3pm. My sister Happy used to run to Sunday school, might be the reason was that she wanted to recite the bible verse that she learnt before anybody would recite.
Oh I must tell you the great process of learning the Bible verses, this great task used to begin on from every morning, mom used to spend a few minutes say 30 minutes for us to make us learn the verse. This process used to go until we recite them properly. Sometimes in order to avoid the distractions from our eyes and ears she used to sit on a chair and hold us between her knees and hold our heads in her palms and looking straight into our eyes she used to taught us the verses to us. She herself used to learn the verse before she used to teach us, so that not even one second we could get any other distraction. We were wholly hers our body and soul and heart and brain etc. you are laughing know? Yes, those were the good old days and we re really grateful tour mom for the way she taught us the Bible scriptures to us. Some moms used to spend much time in providing food to the household, thought mom used to do many experiments in the kitchen she never neglected to give us the spiritual food in our lives from our very birth, I must say.
I tried to make much fuss over it. But my mom uw3e to beg me to go to Sunday school. If I did not listen to her she used to take a small thin broomstick and used to wave it vigorously in the air and used to threaten me. Before I receive any slash from that I used to run and climb the steps and reach terrace where the Sunday school was going on.
Now I understand the value of Sunday school. Usually my mother used to take Sundays school but some times in order to train other ladies in the church to take care of children in the church she used to entrust that work to some one. When my mother was taking the Sunday school she used to teach many songs, stories and games and much work to do at home. We used to paint and draw the theme of the story at home after every Sunday school and bring it to the next Sunday school. She used to encourage every child by giving gifts as an incentive. She used to jump and sing and play with us even during the study time or feeding time whatever it is. We used to have number of homemade games and songs all invented by my mom. She used to insist on stitching different dresses to Happy akka, and different stuffed toys for us, and she used tell dad to prepare and help us in our scientific experiments etc.

One good thing about this picnic is that this picnic is not on Sunday. Our teacher is taking us on Saturday. As soon as she told us that it was on Saturday I was sure mom and dad would never say ‘no’, and so I ran home and caught of the fleets of the sari of my mom as she was standing in the kitchen and cooking something. .
“Mom, I want to go to picnic, you know this time the picnic is not on Sunday, its Saturday”
“Oh god,? I don’t want to send you, I am afraid. Cause, you always slip own and get hurt, suppose you get any bruises!1? Oh I can’t bear.”
I was shocked. I never thought that she would say so. She had a big spoon in her hand and she was moving it in a vessel on the stove so devotedly, not even bothering to look at me.// oh the same old song that I am hearing all these past two years. I was annoyed. Of course, I had bruised on my head, on my hands, on my legs. Of course many of them surely. So what? When we play, we are prone to fall- its natural, we all and we get , for then why should she make so much of fuss?” I just could not understand.
“mom, mom, please send me to the picnic please- I was repeating the same ords just like a struck up gram phone record—
Thus mom bent down on her knees and looked into my eyes keeping her face straight and near to my face, she said. Looks John dear, while running you fall, while walking you fell down, many times in the picnic, who will help you who will look after you? I am scared to send you, I don’t to send you really.”
She told me so. And briskly she stood and returned to her cooking again she started to move the spoon vigorously in the vessel.
‘
“Oh really, I did not know what to do how to make mom to accept may plea went out and into the home and again I caught hold of mom’s legs—“mom I went to go picnic—started to make much ado—“
“Oh..Darling John ask Jesus did not me, I am scared” If Jesus give you permission you can go” I do not know whether mom said so just to get rid of me for the moment or she said of me for the moment or she said seriously,
But I went intoother room and told Jesus, kneeling down, Lord jesusi want to go to picnic, I like it so much, but mom is afraid-she is afraid for I may fall down and get bruises, so what to do. If you send me went to go. I pray this in the name of Jesus’, amen.
Then, I ran to mom with my Bible and told her! Mom I prayed “What Jesus told you? She asks of me smilingly.
“He did not say anything I said do sadly.
She smiled softly and said, “Jesus speaks through the word of God in the Bible. After you prayed, ask Jesus to give you a promise.”
OOPS don’t know today mom is cooking so vigorously, its giving sweet smell, may be Halwa. Ok whatever it may be I need to pray now. So I went into the other room again and started to pray just like before. Then I opened the bible. Then I kept my finger on one place and ran to mom’ “mom please read this” –Then mom wiped her wet hands to her sari pallu and took the bible in to her hands and started to read where I kept my finger.
Its Proverb 4:12 ‘WHEN YOU WALK, YOUR STEP WILL NOT HAMPER, ANDIF YOU RUN, YOU WILLNOT STUMBLE”
Imagine what verse- it was. My mom’s face was like hundred lights together, she took hold of me and went round and round
“Oh Jesus told you1?! That you would not fell down, Oh Jesus told you, “ she was almost jumping with great joy. The way we both jumped you people must see!!
In this picnic one of my friend fall down from the tree, and there was great cut on his arm and blood too. By evening even my dress was full of dirt. Now I understand why mom was afraid so much, any way Jesus promised me know that I won’t fall.
So as soon as I got into the home, I told this piece of news to mom. Mom told me, ‘yes, I was often remembered you today and when you are late from the picnic, I wanted to come to school and Enquirer about your safety but I recollected that promise Jesus has given to you again and told my self that Jesus would take care of my little sunny “ and I encouraged myself. \(But children, we should not put our finger like that always. Jesus spoke to John, no wonder, it was true but Jesus talks in different ways in different occasions. We will learn about that later. Ok?)

TUNING THE HEART

TUNING THE HEART



Decisions in life are all that matter. To follow or not to follow, to love or not to love, to do or not to do anything, anywhere, need to be decided. God has given such power to mankind. To think, to brood over, to plan, to evaluate and ultimately to decide. One simple decision, some times, changes the whole course of life. One simple, strong decision would take us closer to God or run away from God. Simple decision or simple faith, for that matter, that changes whole set up of life gives abundance of peace, security and courage in life. But the joy or happiness is completely depending upon the aptitude of a person.

Such a decision of choosing God is so very important in life. This decision would come to some people all in a sudden or in a minute as in the case of st.Paul, or Sadhu Sundhar Singh who hated Jesus Christ in their lives before they had an encounter with Him alone. They got a revelation from the above in one second and their entire life pattern was changed taking a 180-degree turn. Some people change their lives with such decisions in that manner. But some people take decision on one fine God given day, but prior to that many trivial incidents in their lives would mould them to the extent of a day wherein they cannot but take up a decision and take 18- degrees turn . whatever be life’s situations, God has a purpose and plan for such people who decide to follow Him.


Does God chose certain people ages before their creation, and their birth on this earth/ Is their lives are PREDESTINED by Him and they are chosen by Him for a life He intends for them? Does the same pattern of His choosing of Jacob and His despising of Easau prevail over the lives of the mankind all these ages through?

Whatever , I see God has a special love and pattern of life for me since my very childhood. When I was just 4years old, I remember, I learned the stories of Christ, I remember His comely visage, His portrait on the wall of our home. This used to give me immense joy and soothing comfort. I remember that I was aware of His presence when I look at Him and feel that He was observing me and listening to me when I tell Him anything. The little prayers at the time of eating food or going to bed were precious moments, which I cherished all through my life. These little good habits and seeds of love for God . Jesus Christ were planted by my aunt Vipparthi Kantham who came to our home to finish her teacher training in Guntur, India. Her stay at our home planted faith in my heart for God. She used to take every occasion to teach me the bedtime prayer and thanks giving prayer at the meals and the power of the name of Jesus Christ to get rid of the fear of the Devil. The beautiful thing she taught me was to go into the presence of God when I am hurt or feel humiliated and getting solace and comfort from Him, and Him alone.

I still remember that particular day, some body was saying “hey look at Leela she is just like her father, oh, such a resemblance, oh God even that big nose she inherited exactly from her father” and every body giggled at once. But I was overwhelmed with shame , oh am I too sensitive person? Could not I take that in a sportive way and poophed poophed the matter to the wind? But I am not born that way, I am really very sensitive person, and take everything to my heart, and who knows that may be the reason that I have many encounters with my Lord which are inevitable for me for I need to be consoled and I found His feet are the right place to get that.
So here I was , I was all in tears, I did not show my tears to any one in that room, nor I cried aloud nor reacted to them in any way. Though I was only 4 years old (((((( 4 year old photograph to be kept here in this place)))))that was the first time that I ever took my “hurt feeling” to myLord , Jesus Christ Himself. I went straight into the bedroom of my dad, nobody noticed my absence from them, and entering into the bedroom first thing I did was bolting the room from inside. and jumped into the bed of my dad to cry into his pillow. usually dad was my solace in such situations, but dad also was in the other room and that particular comment about the nose he took sportive way and laughed aloud. So I haven one to share my hurt. so here I am in his bed with a pillow to wipe my tears on my cheeks. But at that juncture some beautiful thing happened in my life. I looked straight into the eyes of Jesus Christ as His portrait was hanging above the sofa in that room. So I told Him how much hurt I felt by their comments about my BIG nose and I looked at His nose and said to Him “oh Jesus you have such a nice nose, but why you gave me this big one? Everybody is teasing me “ I bitterly cried silently, While the tears were flowing down on my cheeks, my voice was unheard to any earthly being, while the tear marks were still on my cheeks , sleepover came my tired eyelids, and I slept thus giving rest to my agonized soul to rest.

Then I had a dream: In my dream Jesus came and sat on that sofa and I was asking Him why He did not give a nose like His / He was smiling at me as I was kneeling down at His feet and looking into His comely visage. His very presence filled my soul with soothing comfort, He did not answer me but simply took my hand into His, and smiled at me.

Just then there was some one at the bolted door and banging it ,calling my name anxiously, so I had to get up from my sweet dream and from the bed to open the door.

The dream was so vivid and I never could forget the warmth and comfort I enjoyed at His feet at that moment. He was lovely and so wonderful and He wiped away my tears in such soothing way. After coming out of that room I completely forgot my hurt, and I became as happy girl as I was jumping and playing altogether. But that dream was so precious to me that I did not feel like telling any one till now, till I put this into written form now.

Such is the unspeakable and indescribable joy we get when we take our hurts to His feet and comforted there. Its so Holy and beautiful that we do not find proper words to express to any one . Even now, my effort to explain or describe that event is only futile effort. I am just trying to give a glimpse of the Heavenly joy I had had in such occasions.

Through this incident rather my first encounter with my beloved m Jesus Christ has had a great impact in my life.

This has helped me to take up greater decisions in my life when the temptations overwhelm me. One simple prayer of trust in His precious blood and in His Holy name would completely deliver me from the snares of the Evil One. One step towards Him would give us great deliverance, but the Devil never allow us to take such step. Instead it would lure us to trust in our own might, strength and talents to get deliverance. But the child of God would always realize, at one point, that her/his strength to win is futile and she/he needs to DECIDE in her/his heart and YIELD to him completely to get victory in life.

Decision making after right TUNING OF THE HEART is inevitable to the child of God. Till s/he reached to that point s/he never would find peace in life. Howeverr whatever are the lures of the world or snares of evil one. One has to come to the/ point in life, to DECIDE; to YEILD, to SURRENDER completely to HIM, AND HIM ALONE.
Lydia