Depression and Loneliness never leave me alone. They track me down after about ten days wherever I go. Depression on my left, Loneliness on my right. They don't need to show me their badges. I know these guys very well. We've been playing a cat-and mouse game for years now. Though I admit that I am surprised to meet them in this elegant house and beautiful surroundings,.
They frisk me. They empty my pockets of any joy I had been carrying here. depression even confiscated my identity; but it always does that. Then Loneliness starts interrogating me, which I dread because it always there eventually. It asks if I have any reason to be happy that I know of. It asks why I am all by myself alone every night, . He asks(though we've been through this line of questioning hundreds of times already) why I can't keep a friendship going, why I became a widow at the young age of 47years, why I mess things up with my close ones, why things go so sour since I became a widow. It asks why I can't get any act together, and why I'm not home living in a nice house and enjoy to be a respectable woman with a husband who loves me as of my age should be. It asks why, exactly, I think I deserve a vacation , when I've made such a rubble of my life. It asks me why I think that running away to USA, and again to India, like a college kid will make me happy. He asks where I think I'll end up my old age, if I keep living this way. I tried to shake them, but they keep following me, these two goons. Depression has a firm hand on my shoulder and Loneliness harangues me with Its interrogation. I don't even bother to eat properly sometimes, I cant live with them all the time. They never leave me they give their dark smile to me and settles into my favorite chair or in my bed where ever I am and settles very close to me. and sleeps with me and wakes with me. ( This was my life , some years back)
They frisk me. They empty my pockets of any joy I had been carrying here. depression even confiscated my identity; but it always does that. Then Loneliness starts interrogating me, which I dread because it always there eventually. It asks if I have any reason to be happy that I know of. It asks why I am all by myself alone every night, . He asks(though we've been through this line of questioning hundreds of times already) why I can't keep a friendship going, why I became a widow at the young age of 47years, why I mess things up with my close ones, why things go so sour since I became a widow. It asks why I can't get any act together, and why I'm not home living in a nice house and enjoy to be a respectable woman with a husband who loves me as of my age should be. It asks why, exactly, I think I deserve a vacation , when I've made such a rubble of my life. It asks me why I think that running away to USA, and again to India, like a college kid will make me happy. He asks where I think I'll end up my old age, if I keep living this way. I tried to shake them, but they keep following me, these two goons. Depression has a firm hand on my shoulder and Loneliness harangues me with Its interrogation. I don't even bother to eat properly sometimes, I cant live with them all the time. They never leave me they give their dark smile to me and settles into my favorite chair or in my bed where ever I am and settles very close to me. and sleeps with me and wakes with me. ( This was my life , some years back)
