Out of The Terrible->
" Remember the days of old, consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you." Deuteronomy 32:7Do we trust God give His angels charge over our work and protect us, and ask them to do things for us? For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. Psalm 81:11 Do we really believe that?.
---God guides, God helps, God listens, God speaks, God leads, But-Do we just give Him a chance to do so?
God again did a miracle by intervening into my life, where I was trailed to be put to shame and was taken into a task, for not doing as they wanted me to do? When man's order is contradicting the Word of God, we need to obey God's word only.
We were correcting the answer papers of the Annual examinations. I found a place where I would not be disturbed, summer climate was too hot to bear outside and inside the room The staff members were hostile towards me again. We got an increase in the pay scale, and I was supposed to give some money as bribe to get the arrears,along with others . I always wonder why the concerned clerk and some other staff in college were so anxious to get the arrears quickly.
To release quickly they need to pay the bribe. Even otherwise the staff in DHE Office in Hyderabad would release even without getting bribe because its their duty to be done in given time. Therefore out of anxiety our staff take initiative to give the bribe and get things to be done as quickly as possible. So the college staff were demanding to collect some percentage of our arrears to give away as bribe. Whenever we have some arrears pending, I was facing this sort of ordeal in college since 1976.
Now in this year 1991, March, I had to face this serious ordeal once again. That morning while I was signing in the staff attendance register, one senior Lecturer, Miss M was in the office, So as usual when I saw her at the Register, in the office, I wished her ' Good Morning Miss" as she was much senior to me. But suddenly her reaction was beyond my expectation, that morning. She shouted at me in shriek and loud voice, and still raising it further, she said:
" What Good morning? Are you wishing me 'Good Morning? ? Are you a beggar? Tell me if you are a beggar all of us share the money you owe to us to spend in Hyderabad office. Tell me Are you a beggar?"----
I was a little bit shocked, this was a very unexpected thing that happened, as she was looking at me straight away demanding the answer from me; in that corner of the office room, it look like she would devour me with my life. I had to answer her because she was demanding me to answer on my face standing right in front of me.
'No Mam, I am not a beggar, I do not ask you to pay for me even, I do not give bribe any way, if you think that you should not send my file to DHE office, keep them aside. but I won't give bribe."
And she was enraged very much and by increasing her shriek voice threatened me once again,walking into the corridor. The non teaching staff came out from the office rooms and looking at us perplexed.
" When they come to devour me,...when my foes attack me...they will stumble and fall.Psalm 27;2 All were looking at me as though I was a prey to be devoured, by both teaching and non-teaching staff. I bent my head down, could not lift my face, but strangely enough I did not have any tears in my eyes, though the situation was heart wrenching. I was not angry or annoyed even, nor felt sad too. One thing was evident that I could not face all of them like this. Yes, in their view I was adamant and proud, useless, haughty beggar. I had no other word to describe myself too.
But what shall I do? I just could not give BRIBE , and grieve my Lord. I am nothing in comparison to the good lecturers in our college. But this act I just could not do. Either I should give money and gain favour of our staff or just face this humiliation and shame and anger of our staff.
I told myself " If I try to please people I am not the servant of Jesus Christ. For now, am I trying the approval of men , or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I am trying to please people I would not be the servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
Yes, at that time. God's command was perplexing. surely His ways are not our ways. What will I do when I find that God's way seem very reasonable and comprehensible, about this issue of Bribe? I need to OBEY only Him, and His command not of the men.
At that juncture,my husband was waiting for me outside the college gate on some errand, as such I need to give some papers to him, from my shelf in the department, so immediately I ran to him and told him what has had happened and how I was called by names as a beggar.
He looked into my eyes and told me,
" Do not be angry, I will go home and pray."
I said,, 'No I am not angry!
He told me later, straight away he went home knelt down and prayed for me. After he left I came inside the college compound , went back to take some answer sheets from our Vice Principal and Controller of Examinations Sr. Marietta Pudhota. She said,' Miss, if you want to sit in my room and correct the papers, you can sit here" I was utterly shaken in my heart by the way I was shouted at, literally my hands were trembling while taking the answer sheets from her. So her offer was a shield to me to protect me from other insults. It was so kind of her to offer me a table and chair to correct the papers in her room, away from the piercing looks of others.
The next day I finished the valuation of the examination papers, and went to receive the remuneration at the Controller room, where Sr.M was giving money to the staff.When I went there she asked me to sit in front of her, there was a table between her and me, and she said to me,
" Miss, You cannot get any remuneration this time"
I was a bit perplexed and said," Why sister ? I did my duty and finished my work. right!?"
"The staff insisted that your remuneration money should be withheld and should be given to them to use it as your share of the bribe that they have to give in DHE office, Hyderabad "
I was looking at her with disbelief, this piece of news I never expected, taking deep breath I spoke slowly and steadily to her. As of now I knew that I was taken into a corner very unexpectedly: "Sister How can you give my money? I haven't sign on the receipt that I received remuneration, so how can you retain my money, sister?"
"Sorry Miss, to say like this, do you remember that you already signed the receipt papers before itself? And Sr. Principal also told me to give your remuneration money to the staff."-- Not believing that I already signed the receipt that I received remuneration, I further asked her When sister? When did I sign?? She told me , "Miss do you remember the other day, Laxmi the attender brought a circular to all the staff to sign, and along with it, the remuneration blank receipts also to be signed even before the correction of the papers to all the staff?" Then I remembered that the other day , one attender Laxmi came to give me some papers to sign, I asked her what were those papers, she told me, " Miss all lecturers signed these papers, I was searching for you, I did not know you are here, " I signed the papers as those were the receipts of the amount of money we would receive after we finished the valuation. She told me all other lecturers also signed already.
I was there in that chair in front of the Controller of the Examinations, literally shaking to the core. I was sweating and tears gushing out. I said," Sister, this you have taken without my CONSENT. "
Sr. Marietta Pudhota said: "Miss, actually I do not want to take your money without your consent, but the staff insisted me, sorry miss."
I was staring at her. I was taken aback , I felt the same sorrow I experienced when I was asked to put bottu on my forehead in Air India.
I said, my eyes fixed on her face.
" Sister.. I believe, you just cannot give my remuneration to any one without my CONSENT, You have given that bribe without my CONSENT, I have no part in it." The tears were rolling down on my cheeks..my voice was low and steady.
I added my words, like this. " Sister , you know that I resigned my job as Air hostess in Air India just because they asked me to put bottu ( tikka) on my forehead, this ...this is not greater than that. If needed I will resign even this job, I can't believe that you have given my money without my consent. but I am really very sad.." I found myself shivering and tears were rolling down. I took leave from her and went into the hall where my friend Miss Swarnakamala was correcting her Zoology answer sheets. I went to her, and she asked me whether I got my remuneration. I said ,"No", seeing my condition she made me to sit on a chair nearby her, and elicited the matter that happened in the Controller room, she said," Leela you look devastated, please be steady , and have this cup of coffee, and she poured out some hot coffee from her flask and gave it to me. I was so shivering, and trying to drink that coffee, but at that very moment, an attender came and told me, "Miss, Sister Principal asked you to meet her now" I got up from the seat without finishing to drink the coffee and kept the cup on the floor, and went into the Principal chamber immediatly. There she was Sr. Winifred, with the remuneration receipts in her hand. She said, "Miss. the staff asked me to take your remuneration and give it to them to meet the expenses in the office work." I said, calmly and quietly , I was not trembling any more, my voice was steady and firm as I told her,' Sister , you have taken my remuneration without my CONSENT, I have no part in this bribe."
----Even then if we trust in God out of that Terrible LION; Something Sweet comes. Just as in Samson Riddle.
for next chapter click the link below:
https://www.mygodmystory.com/something-sweeter/
" What Good morning? Are you wishing me 'Good Morning? ? Are you a beggar? Tell me if you are a beggar all of us share the money you owe to us to spend in Hyderabad office. Tell me Are you a beggar?"----
I was a little bit shocked, this was a very unexpected thing that happened, as she was looking at me straight away demanding the answer from me; in that corner of the office room, it look like she would devour me with my life. I had to answer her because she was demanding me to answer on my face standing right in front of me.
'No Mam, I am not a beggar, I do not ask you to pay for me even, I do not give bribe any way, if you think that you should not send my file to DHE office, keep them aside. but I won't give bribe."
And she was enraged very much and by increasing her shriek voice threatened me once again,walking into the corridor. The non teaching staff came out from the office rooms and looking at us perplexed.
" When they come to devour me,...when my foes attack me...they will stumble and fall.Psalm 27;2 All were looking at me as though I was a prey to be devoured, by both teaching and non-teaching staff. I bent my head down, could not lift my face, but strangely enough I did not have any tears in my eyes, though the situation was heart wrenching. I was not angry or annoyed even, nor felt sad too. One thing was evident that I could not face all of them like this. Yes, in their view I was adamant and proud, useless, haughty beggar. I had no other word to describe myself too.
But what shall I do? I just could not give BRIBE , and grieve my Lord. I am nothing in comparison to the good lecturers in our college. But this act I just could not do. Either I should give money and gain favour of our staff or just face this humiliation and shame and anger of our staff.
I told myself " If I try to please people I am not the servant of Jesus Christ. For now, am I trying the approval of men , or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I am trying to please people I would not be the servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
Yes, at that time. God's command was perplexing. surely His ways are not our ways. What will I do when I find that God's way seem very reasonable and comprehensible, about this issue of Bribe? I need to OBEY only Him, and His command not of the men.
At that juncture,my husband was waiting for me outside the college gate on some errand, as such I need to give some papers to him, from my shelf in the department, so immediately I ran to him and told him what has had happened and how I was called by names as a beggar.
He looked into my eyes and told me,
" Do not be angry, I will go home and pray."
I said,, 'No I am not angry!
He told me later, straight away he went home knelt down and prayed for me. After he left I came inside the college compound , went back to take some answer sheets from our Vice Principal and Controller of Examinations Sr. Marietta Pudhota. She said,' Miss, if you want to sit in my room and correct the papers, you can sit here" I was utterly shaken in my heart by the way I was shouted at, literally my hands were trembling while taking the answer sheets from her. So her offer was a shield to me to protect me from other insults. It was so kind of her to offer me a table and chair to correct the papers in her room, away from the piercing looks of others.
The next day I finished the valuation of the examination papers, and went to receive the remuneration at the Controller room, where Sr.M was giving money to the staff.When I went there she asked me to sit in front of her, there was a table between her and me, and she said to me,
" Miss, You cannot get any remuneration this time"
I was a bit perplexed and said," Why sister ? I did my duty and finished my work. right!?"
"The staff insisted that your remuneration money should be withheld and should be given to them to use it as your share of the bribe that they have to give in DHE office, Hyderabad "
I was looking at her with disbelief, this piece of news I never expected, taking deep breath I spoke slowly and steadily to her. As of now I knew that I was taken into a corner very unexpectedly: "Sister How can you give my money? I haven't sign on the receipt that I received remuneration, so how can you retain my money, sister?"
"Sorry Miss, to say like this, do you remember that you already signed the receipt papers before itself? And Sr. Principal also told me to give your remuneration money to the staff."-- Not believing that I already signed the receipt that I received remuneration, I further asked her When sister? When did I sign?? She told me , "Miss do you remember the other day, Laxmi the attender brought a circular to all the staff to sign, and along with it, the remuneration blank receipts also to be signed even before the correction of the papers to all the staff?" Then I remembered that the other day , one attender Laxmi came to give me some papers to sign, I asked her what were those papers, she told me, " Miss all lecturers signed these papers, I was searching for you, I did not know you are here, " I signed the papers as those were the receipts of the amount of money we would receive after we finished the valuation. She told me all other lecturers also signed already.
I was there in that chair in front of the Controller of the Examinations, literally shaking to the core. I was sweating and tears gushing out. I said," Sister, this you have taken without my CONSENT. "
Sr. Marietta Pudhota said: "Miss, actually I do not want to take your money without your consent, but the staff insisted me, sorry miss."
I was staring at her. I was taken aback , I felt the same sorrow I experienced when I was asked to put bottu on my forehead in Air India.
I said, my eyes fixed on her face.
" Sister.. I believe, you just cannot give my remuneration to any one without my CONSENT, You have given that bribe without my CONSENT, I have no part in it." The tears were rolling down on my cheeks..my voice was low and steady.
I added my words, like this. " Sister , you know that I resigned my job as Air hostess in Air India just because they asked me to put bottu ( tikka) on my forehead, this ...this is not greater than that. If needed I will resign even this job, I can't believe that you have given my money without my consent. but I am really very sad.." I found myself shivering and tears were rolling down. I took leave from her and went into the hall where my friend Miss Swarnakamala was correcting her Zoology answer sheets. I went to her, and she asked me whether I got my remuneration. I said ,"No", seeing my condition she made me to sit on a chair nearby her, and elicited the matter that happened in the Controller room, she said," Leela you look devastated, please be steady , and have this cup of coffee, and she poured out some hot coffee from her flask and gave it to me. I was so shivering, and trying to drink that coffee, but at that very moment, an attender came and told me, "Miss, Sister Principal asked you to meet her now" I got up from the seat without finishing to drink the coffee and kept the cup on the floor, and went into the Principal chamber immediatly. There she was Sr. Winifred, with the remuneration receipts in her hand. She said, "Miss. the staff asked me to take your remuneration and give it to them to meet the expenses in the office work." I said, calmly and quietly , I was not trembling any more, my voice was steady and firm as I told her,' Sister , you have taken my remuneration without my CONSENT, I have no part in this bribe."
She was looking at me and said, " See Miss, the staff is saying that "Where is your consciousness, when you happen to come to college late or go from the college earlier than the college hours? What answer you will give to them?"
( All the staff, including me were not taken into task by our kind principal when we go to college a bit late, if we do not have the first period class, i.e from 9:30 and to 10:30 am-- the register was available to sign till 10 am. And so was in the evening, if we do not have class in the last period, we can go home half an hour before the college closes. Especially mothers like me with little children were not taken into task. It was a compassionate arrangement between the staff of the same department. Also Sr Principal was not mindful of such arrangement at times. Its unwritten norm of the routine of the college, nobody was taken into task , especially during the regime of Sr. Winifred as she was concern of mothers like me with little children at home, where husbands were not available due to work hours. My husband was working in Vijayawada, and he was available only on weekends.
So this point of breach was taken into task to find fault with me to blame me, to find the flaw in me and to point out at me and to tell me that I am not good in keeping perfect disposition, by my colleagues.
Though I never expected this sort of accusation I could answer her, immediately,
" Yes sister, I am late to college and go from college a bit earlier at times. I accept it, but it is only a MISTAKE, I can RECTIFY it, but giving bribe is a CRIME I cannot do it " This answer, I did not contemplated it, nor did I expected to find myself in that position.---yes, when we were taken into the presence of the Authoritarians, " But when they deliver you up take no thought how and what shall you speak but it shall be given in that same hour what ye shall speak"Matt 10: 19 -is fulfilled literally. God, only God had given those words to me then.
Also I did something very abruptly and unexpectedly. She was looking straight into my face, and I looked into her eyes and said,
" Sister hereafter I give 'word' to you that I will come to college in time and leave the college in time. If you want I will write it on paper and sign it and give it to you."Saying thus immediately I took my journal which used to be always with me in my hand bag, I opened it, and wrote like this,on a empty paper,
"FOR THE NEXT ACADEMIC YEAR 1991--1992"
I, M. Leela vathi give you in word, that I will be in college by 9:30 am and leave the college by 4:30 pm.
I signed my name. I tore the paper then and there and gave it to her.
Even now I did not know who made me to do so, why and how I did like that in an instant, it was not contemplated thing, or premeditated thing to do. In an instant I did it, and it was it.
I do not know why my sweet Godly sister Principal smiled at me, taking that piece of paper from me , but said, ' But Miss they would say, that you are money minded. Ad you love money"
"They may say anything Sister, but you know what I am; and you know I, all ways, bring this meger amount also into Gross income and pay my taxes duly"
She pulled the money , my remuneration, from the table drawer and gave it to me.
I thanked her, and took the money and came out of her room; and walked fast to reach the staff room in the same corridor, but on my way I saw Miss M.( she called me beggar , the other day.) sitting on a cement plank all alone. I did not see her for the past few days in college campus, I approached and asked her if she was waiting for Riksha man to take her home. She said , Yes miss, I am waiting."
I said to her, "Mam , I will go out and see whether he came and waiting for you at the gate, and will tell him that you are waiting for him. If he is not available I will call another one to take you home " --
She stopped me and told me, " Don't worry Miss, he will come. Actually I am suffering from high temperature since that day, I shouted at you. I did not mean to insult you so. All other staff told me,as I am the senior most Lecturer, to insult you so that to retrieve money from you. Sorry miss."
Again it was my turn to be surprised, but told her, "NO mam, its nothing. do not worry, please." And I helped her by holding her books, and escorted her to the gate where her rickshaw man was already coming into the campus to take her home. Helped her to get into the Rickshaw , I went into the department to take my things, my books from my table, there I saw Suzan the sweet girl , and Psychology Lecturer sitting and doing some work, as soon as she saw me she asked me, What happened Miss?" as I was about to tell her, she immediately got up and closed the doors, and told me to sit for awhile and take rest and that I could go home later.
While we both praised God and praying, Sister Principal peeped into the room through the slightly opened door and smilingly said, " Miss, sorry I disturb you, I gave you those receipt papers by mistake along with the money, can you take them back and give the in the office please.?"
I briskly stood up and said," Yes sister".She went away telling me thus. Even I did not realize that those papers were along with the remuneration money which I pushed into my handbag. Susan said, "Miss I will take that receipt and give it in the office, you go home now."
I wonder how beautifully God had arranged everything for me.
Why Susan was there? I do not know. In the beginning When I came to work in this College I prayed for the management, in 1976; God has given me a beautiful verse about the management, and how much a blessing to me to work under them. the verse goes like this,"Blessed art thou, o land, when thy king is the son of nobles and your princes feast not in the early morning but at proper time for strength not for drunkenness",,( not early in the morning,=in Telugu version) our sisters go for prayer early morning , not to breakfast table) for strength, not for drunkenness" Ecclesiastes 10:17
I went home as usual children were waiting for me on the last day of my paper correction, because every year I take them to a hotel to eat with that money. Yes, I took them to Madhulatha hotel, on our way, due to terrible heat the road was burning with melted tar, and our rikshaw tire was bursted out . But still we had fun of enjoying the servings in the restaurant. We as parents always very careful not to give any anxiety to our children with our problems. They all ways had happy childhood.
"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8
( All the staff, including me were not taken into task by our kind principal when we go to college a bit late, if we do not have the first period class, i.e from 9:30 and to 10:30 am-- the register was available to sign till 10 am. And so was in the evening, if we do not have class in the last period, we can go home half an hour before the college closes. Especially mothers like me with little children were not taken into task. It was a compassionate arrangement between the staff of the same department. Also Sr Principal was not mindful of such arrangement at times. Its unwritten norm of the routine of the college, nobody was taken into task , especially during the regime of Sr. Winifred as she was concern of mothers like me with little children at home, where husbands were not available due to work hours. My husband was working in Vijayawada, and he was available only on weekends.
So this point of breach was taken into task to find fault with me to blame me, to find the flaw in me and to point out at me and to tell me that I am not good in keeping perfect disposition, by my colleagues.
Though I never expected this sort of accusation I could answer her, immediately,
" Yes sister, I am late to college and go from college a bit earlier at times. I accept it, but it is only a MISTAKE, I can RECTIFY it, but giving bribe is a CRIME I cannot do it " This answer, I did not contemplated it, nor did I expected to find myself in that position.---yes, when we were taken into the presence of the Authoritarians, " But when they deliver you up take no thought how and what shall you speak but it shall be given in that same hour what ye shall speak"Matt 10: 19 -is fulfilled literally. God, only God had given those words to me then.
Also I did something very abruptly and unexpectedly. She was looking straight into my face, and I looked into her eyes and said,
" Sister hereafter I give 'word' to you that I will come to college in time and leave the college in time. If you want I will write it on paper and sign it and give it to you."Saying thus immediately I took my journal which used to be always with me in my hand bag, I opened it, and wrote like this,on a empty paper,
"FOR THE NEXT ACADEMIC YEAR 1991--1992"
I, M. Leela vathi give you in word, that I will be in college by 9:30 am and leave the college by 4:30 pm.
I signed my name. I tore the paper then and there and gave it to her.
Even now I did not know who made me to do so, why and how I did like that in an instant, it was not contemplated thing, or premeditated thing to do. In an instant I did it, and it was it.
I do not know why my sweet Godly sister Principal smiled at me, taking that piece of paper from me , but said, ' But Miss they would say, that you are money minded. Ad you love money"
"They may say anything Sister, but you know what I am; and you know I, all ways, bring this meger amount also into Gross income and pay my taxes duly"
She pulled the money , my remuneration, from the table drawer and gave it to me.
I thanked her, and took the money and came out of her room; and walked fast to reach the staff room in the same corridor, but on my way I saw Miss M.( she called me beggar , the other day.) sitting on a cement plank all alone. I did not see her for the past few days in college campus, I approached and asked her if she was waiting for Riksha man to take her home. She said , Yes miss, I am waiting."
I said to her, "Mam , I will go out and see whether he came and waiting for you at the gate, and will tell him that you are waiting for him. If he is not available I will call another one to take you home " --
She stopped me and told me, " Don't worry Miss, he will come. Actually I am suffering from high temperature since that day, I shouted at you. I did not mean to insult you so. All other staff told me,as I am the senior most Lecturer, to insult you so that to retrieve money from you. Sorry miss."
Again it was my turn to be surprised, but told her, "NO mam, its nothing. do not worry, please." And I helped her by holding her books, and escorted her to the gate where her rickshaw man was already coming into the campus to take her home. Helped her to get into the Rickshaw , I went into the department to take my things, my books from my table, there I saw Suzan the sweet girl , and Psychology Lecturer sitting and doing some work, as soon as she saw me she asked me, What happened Miss?" as I was about to tell her, she immediately got up and closed the doors, and told me to sit for awhile and take rest and that I could go home later.
While we both praised God and praying, Sister Principal peeped into the room through the slightly opened door and smilingly said, " Miss, sorry I disturb you, I gave you those receipt papers by mistake along with the money, can you take them back and give the in the office please.?"
I briskly stood up and said," Yes sister".She went away telling me thus. Even I did not realize that those papers were along with the remuneration money which I pushed into my handbag. Susan said, "Miss I will take that receipt and give it in the office, you go home now."
I wonder how beautifully God had arranged everything for me.
Why Susan was there? I do not know. In the beginning When I came to work in this College I prayed for the management, in 1976; God has given me a beautiful verse about the management, and how much a blessing to me to work under them. the verse goes like this,"Blessed art thou, o land, when thy king is the son of nobles and your princes feast not in the early morning but at proper time for strength not for drunkenness",,( not early in the morning,=in Telugu version) our sisters go for prayer early morning , not to breakfast table) for strength, not for drunkenness" Ecclesiastes 10:17
I went home as usual children were waiting for me on the last day of my paper correction, because every year I take them to a hotel to eat with that money. Yes, I took them to Madhulatha hotel, on our way, due to terrible heat the road was burning with melted tar, and our rikshaw tire was bursted out . But still we had fun of enjoying the servings in the restaurant. We as parents always very careful not to give any anxiety to our children with our problems. They all ways had happy childhood.
"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8
for next chapter click the link below:
https://www.mygodmystory.com/something-sweeter/
